The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 10.11.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 10.11.86

Originally written 04.21.26

Taped from Baltimore, MD on 09.16.86

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura & Bruno Sammartino

The British Bulldogs v. The Dream Team

Non-title match here, and the Dream Team doesn’t even get an entrance! Also a historic promo to start, as Jesse Ventura interviews the Bulldogs and their new mascot, Matilda. That gimmick would stick around for a surprising amount of time, so it must have worked as intended. Dream Team attacks to start and they all slug it out, but Davey headbutts Valentine to trigger a Flair Flop. Kid with a BAAAAAACK body drop and kneedrop on the Hammer, and he follows with a snap suplex. Bruno declares that NO ONE IN THE HISTORY OF WRESTLING has ever done a better snap suplex than Dynamite. It’s certainly an iconic move for him. Beefcake comes in with a suplex of his own on Davey and then the heels go to work on the Kid, but Hammer goes up and gets slammed off as a result. Back to Brutus and he gets a backbreaker on Kid for two to take over again, but Greg goes for the figure-four and Kid fights it off. Hot tag Davey and he hits Brutus with a press slam and a vertical suplex for two. Ref is bumped on the kickout and it’s BONZO GONZO, but Valentine ends up on top of Davey and the ref won’t count because he’s not legal. So they hit Davey with a double slam and the ref calls for the DQ at 5:00. Well that was a lame finish. Not sure why it was a non-title match if they were just doing a screwjob finish anyway. Wasn’t bad for a quickie TV match. **

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

Yup, still the old Update set. I’m starting to feel like I’m only imagining the new set. This week’s topic is Jake Roberts, who cuts a promo in the shower with the snake wrapped around him. With the shower running. And he quotes Thriller, which is nice because I was already missing that song after they changed the intro.

Magnificent Muraco & Cowboy Bob Orton v. Sivi Afi & Billy Jack Haynes

OKAY. So at this point, Adrian Adonis has been fired (or indefinitely suspended, whatever you want to classify it as), with his intended last match being a house show the night before where he jobbed to Hulk Hogan. Last week’s destruction of the Flower Shop at the hands of Roddy Piper was intended to write him out and he was removed from the opening, and now they’re introducing Muraco & Orton as a team to be the primary foil for Roddy Piper in his place. But it didn’t work at all, so he was rehired in November, basically just missing one TV taping cycle as a result, and thus we don’t really remember him being “gone” these days. We get an inset from Muraco & Orton where they laugh about injuring Piper, but they’re managed by Mr. Fuji and there’s no mention of Adonis or Jimmy Hart here. The babyfaces double-team Muraco’s arm in their corner, and it’s over to Orton and he gets more of the same. But then Afi comes in and he immediately gets clobbered like a complete geek by Muraco, and Orton hits him with a superplex to finish at 1:45. Haynes had been tossed out of the ring, which gave him plausible deniability for not being involved in the finish and thus not “jobbing”. Although a few weeks ago they did a deal where Haynes and Hercules were briefly involved in another match where Haynes was present and didn’t lose. And that didn’t lead to anything until much later.

Big John Studd & King Kong Bundy v. Rebel Dick Slater & Ricky Hunter

Another JTTS who can “lose” without being involved in the finish. Vince declares the heel team to be a pair of BO-HEMOTHS, as usual. Slater attacks Studd and gets some offense on him, but Bundy beats him down. Elbow misses, so Slater brings in Hunter, and he immediately gets clobbered while we get an inset from the Machines, who have built a Machine Factory and are pumping out new Machines every day. Vince speculates the appearances of Hulk Machine, Dog Machine and Steele Machine sometime soon. It was a pretty effective gag for the first little while, for sure, but the joke wore off fast. Bundy continues beating on Hunter and Studd adds more clubbing forearms and goes to a chinlock while the crowd chants for the Machines. And that’s how we got Skynet. Avalanche finishes at 4:00.

The Rougeau Brothers v. Barry O & Hercules Hernandez

Another weird non-jobber/jobber team this week. Also we are gifted by an inset promo from DANNY DAVIS, who promises that he only calls it right down the middle, daddy. Rougeaus double-team Barry, so he tags out to Herc, who hits Jacques with a knee to the back and allows Barry to get some offense. Vince demands that Davis disqualify Hercules for this transgression, but he ignores all the double-teaming from the Rougeaus. Assisted senton finishes Barry at 1:40. Vince continues bitching about Danny’s refereeing but he’s got nothing here for evidence. Afterwards, Danny talks to Herc and Vince accuses them of colluding. Bunch of crackpot conspiracy theories.

Meanwhile, we take a look at the new Piper’s Pit getting built, and then take a look back at Saturday Night’s Main Event, where Adrian Adonis gets chased off by Roddy Piper and Vince basically says he’s been “destroyed” and won’t be back. And then we get a promo from Piper, who ignores Adonis and focuses his rage on Muraco and Orton instead.

The Hart Foundation & Kent Glover v. The Islanders & Pedro Morales

This show is WEIRD. This is the official rebranding as “Haku” and “Tama”, and they clear the Harts out of the ring and go to work on Glover, which seems wise. Double chop from the Islanders and Tama finishes with the flying splash at 1:28. Funny how they didn’t even acknowledge the previous names and just pretended that it was always Haku and Tama. Afterwards, the Harts turn on Glover and beat the crap out of him. Fair enough.

Meanwhile, Slick shows Sheik & Volkoff a good time and promises them riches and the tag team titles, as Freddie Blassie is now gone.

Junkyard Dog & George Steele v. Steve Regal & Terry Gibbs

Yes it’s MR. ELECTRICITY, who quickly gets chased out of the ring by Dog, and it’s over to Gibbs to take the beating from Steele. We get an inset from Butch Reed, who notes that it’s been a long time since he’s been upside Dog’s head, so it’s high time it happens agai. Dog finishes Gibbs with the Thump at 0:50 and then Regal gets tossed out of the ring with a giant bump.

NEXT WEEK: Ricky Steamboat! Butch Reed! The US Express! The return of Piper’s Pit!

This was a weird-ass show. That’s all I got this week.