The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 10.05.91
By Scott Keith on 10 October 2025
The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 10.05.91
Originally written 10.09.25
Hopefully Vince is back after that chairshot last week that took him down.
Taped from Ottawa, ON
Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Rowdy Roddy Piper & Randy Savage, celebrating National Newspaper Week.
The Legion of Doom v. Brian Donahue & Mike Khoury
Piper apologizes to Vince for the shot last week and I guess they’re cool now. LOD double-teams Khoury and it’s over to Donahue, as Hawk puts the boots to him. FUN FACT: The LOD are good friends with Mighty Mike Quinn of the WBF and they enjoy training together and building bodies and whatnot. Animal with the corner clothesline, which sets up the Doomsday Device at 2:44.
UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE!
So we take a look back at last week, when Ric Flair started some trouble with Roddy Piper and Vince got caught in the crossfire.
The Berzerker v. Scott Taylor
We get a rare inset promo from the Berzerker, who clarifies that he breaks bones at the command of Mr. Fuji. Berzerker chokes Taylor out and ties him up on the ropes before hitting him with a big boot and then a powerslam. He follows with a second one and then dumps him to the floor for the countout at 3:04.
Meanwhile, we get clips of Hulk Hogan misunderstanding mimes in Suburban Commando.
Virgil v. Mike Williams
Fittingly, I had Olive Garden for supper tonight. Virgil whips him into the corner and sends him to the floor before following with a dive. Back in, Virgil hits him with a neckbreaker and a slam, and then finishes with the Million Dollar Dream at 1:55.
IRS v. Jim Powers
Powers gets some offense with a pair of slams and a dropkick, but IRS drops elbows on him while Vince questions Savage about calling the hotline and deducting it as a business expense. The corruption and cheating is just out in the open! Irwin with the abdominal stretch, but Powers makes a brief comeback before IRS finishes with the Write Off at 2:00.
Meanwhile, we learn that Wrestlemania VIII will be coming to the HoosierDome in Indiana. This was kind of cute, with Vince doing a Top 5 list of reasons to visit Indianapolis, like “buying tiny basketball keychains for all your friends” and “getting insight into the background of David Letterman”.
THE FUNERAL PARLOR with special guest Sid Justice. Paul promises that Sid will soon be bitten by a snake and coming into his mortuary. Joke’s on you, Bearer, you died before Sid did!
The Nasty Boys v. Kerry Davis & Bob Wisseman
Piper notes that the Rockers are oily and smooth, whereas the Nasties are rough and friction. Like sand, Anakin? Sags throws one of the geeks around with slams while Savage notes that he’s been visiting Jack Tunney’s office on a regular basis and trying to get back in the ring. But he’s still on probation. Nasties with the Pit Stop and they finish with the Shitty Elbow at 3:00.
Meanwhile, Tito Santana practices with his wooden bull, which is notably less dangerous than the real thing.
I’m always amused by the 1991-ness of the commercials on these, like the brutal Super NES v. Genesis wars of attrition, and the propaganda for Big Dairy, pretending like it was just as important to drink milk as it was to work out in order to build muscles. Like I guess if you’re lactose intolerant you’re basically fucked then.
Meanwhile, Sgt. Slaughter visits the Arlington Cemetary, and he doesn’t care if ever wrestles again, because HE WANTS HIS COUNTRY BACK. He could start by telling the truth about his “military” career.
Ricky Steamboat v. Mike Durham
So last week I totally missed on Durham’s identity and let you all down, much like Slaughter let all the dead veterans down in the previous segment. So yes, Durham is the future Johnny Grunge, who slugs on Dragon in the corner but gets taken down with armdrags. Meanwhile Vince actually acknowledges the history between Savage and Steamboat, talking about their classic match at Wrestlemania III and putting it over as one of the greatest matches in WWF history. Did that chairshot break something in his brain? That doesn’t sound like Vince in any sense. Dragon with a slam and he goes up with the flying chop and then finishes with a flying bodypress at 2:33. Getting near the end for Steamboat here.
NEXT WEEK: Jim Neidhart! Jake Roberts! Big Bossman! Ric Flair! And the Survivor Series main event!