The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 09.14.91

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 09.14.91

Originally written 09.15.25

People seem to really like these 91 shows, although the Vault hasn’t posted any more episodes lately so I’ll just have to use my private stash.

Taped from Rochester NY on 08.19.91, so we’re three weeks after Summerslam but the show was still taped before the PPV.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Roddy Piper, celebrating National Laundry Week. Sounds about right for how long it takes me to get mine put away.

The Dragon v. Paul Perez

Steamboat hits Perez with a back kick as Piper jokes about running for WWF President, which of course did happen 5 years later. Dragon with a suplex and he goes up with the flying chop and then finishes with the flying bodypress at 2:00. Poor Steamboat was pretty much doing house show matches against Skinner for the entire rest of his WWF run after this and then out the door, sadly robbing us of a Flair v. Steamboat rematch in the WWF.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND! BROUGHT TO YOU BY TOYS R US!

Courtesy of Coliseum Video, let us take you back to Randy and Liz opening their presents at the reception, at which point a snake pops out of the box and Sid Justice has to make the save with a chair. Jake does a promo afterwards, warning us that if you play with your snake, you’re gonna get bit. I heard they sometimes spit on you, too.

Greg Valentine v. Scott Colantanio

Continuing the epic babyface run for Valentine that I think we all asked for. Valentine with a pair of slams, but the jobber fights back, so Hammer chops him down and works the leg for a bit before finishing with a figure-four at 1:26. Meanwhile Vince wonders if Sgt. Slaughter regrets his actions at Summerslam and made a mistake, but Roddy has ZERO sympathy for him.

Meanwhile, some solider does a promo on Slaughter and he also has no sympathy for Sarge.

The Mountie v. Ross Greenberg

Mountie quickly hammerlocks Greenberg and smashes him into the turnbuckles a bunch of times to establish his authority, and then hits him with a chokeslam and pins him at 1:30. Afterwards he demands to hear his name from the beaten jobber, but Greenberg instead identifies him as “Jailbird”, which Mountie doesn’t appreciate.

IRS v. Tony Diamond

Irwin drops elbows and tosses the jobber, and then we get an inset from him as well where he accuses Big Bossman of not only being a tax cheat, but also on the take. Strong words. IRS with the running clothesline and he finishes with the Write Off drop at 2:38.

Meanwhile, check out A REAL AMERICAN STORY on PPV this October. As if there’s anything real about his story. Is it 40 minutes of him lying about bands who offered him the bass player job?

The Orange Gaslighting Son of a Bitch joins Mean Gene to discuss the Hulk Hogan Hotline, because he never met a grift he didn’t like. And he’s got words for this Ric Flair fella who is debuting soon, and Hulkamania is going to run wild on him. He’s like a disease.

The Natural Disasters v. Mike Fury & Tony Donahue

Quake hiptoses Fury out of the corner and hits him with a dropkick, and it’s over to Donahue, as Typhoon tosses him around the ring. They hit corner splashes on the poor guy and Quake finishes with the butt splash at 2:40.

Jim Neidhart v. The Brooklyn Brawler

Neidhart puts the Brawler down with a back elbow and hiptosses him out of the corner, and then finishes with a powerslam at 1:30. Neidhart was doing nothing at this point, just waiting for the debut of Owen Hart.

The Undertaker v. Bill Rourke

Roddy goes on a whole rant about how Undertaker is a marriage-destroying PIG and pretty soon Macho Man is gonna get reinstated and get his revenge. Taker runs him into the corner and hangs him in the Tree of Woe and then stomps him down and hits him with the flying clothesline. Tombstone finishes at 2:01.

Next week: Ted Dibiase! Big Bossman! Ric Flair on the Funeral Parlor! Sid Justice! And Macho Man returns to commentary after his meeting with Jack Tunney!

Wow this episode was a whole lotta nothing after the seismic wedding reception angle from the week before.