The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 06.15.96

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 06.15.96

Taped from Charleston, SC

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross & Mr. Perfect

For some reason we no longer get a “Graphic content” warning now.

The Man They Call Vader v. Tony Johnson

Vader takes him down with an armbar and pounds him on the mat. Weirdly, he’s not wearing his gloves here and it looks strange. Vader with a press slam and he follows with a corner splash and then powerbombs him while we get a yelly inset promo from Bradshaw that’s shot with a Dutch angle for some reason. Did Vince watch Battlefield Earth and get all inspired? Vaderbomb finishes at 2:11.

Meanwhile, Jim Cornette announces that he’s been granted a special referee for King of the Ring in exchange for dropping the lawsuit against Shawn Michaels.

Owen Hart v. Barry Horowitz

This is the earth-shattering debut of Harvey Wippleman as troubleshooting WWF referee, and he immediately confiscates the Slammy in a controversial decision. They trade headlocks on the mat while Vince uses this weird verbiage about “King of the Ring award winner”. Just sounds off for some reason. Barry takes Owen down with a dragon screw and we take a break, and return with Owen hitting him with a belly to belly. Owen with a backbreaker and the gut wrench for two. Horowitz reverses a suplex into a rollup for two and dodges a blind charge to make the comeback. Barry with a legdrop for two. Northern lights suplex gets two. But then Owen catches him with a spinebuster and puts him away with the Sharpshooter at 5:24. Owen, however, won’t release the hold, so Harvey declares Barry the winner by DQ instead. And they have to pump in this sad crowd heat to put over the screwjob finish. “Yay! A reversed decision DQ!”

SLAM JAM! WITH HANDSOME DOK HENDRIX!

Shawn Michaels complains about the deck being stacked against him at the PPV, which is pretty rich coming from a guy who was literally driving people out of the promotion at this point.

Wildman Marc Mero v. Jason Arhndt

Owen joins us on commentary, pointing out that Mero DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A SLAMMY. Huge if true. Mero works the arm and blocks a blind charge with an elbow, and Owen clarifies that Sable doesn’t distract him because “he could care less about some hosebag standing at ringside”. Mero takes him to the top and finishes with a top rope rana at 2:23.

Meanwhile, on RAW, Jerry Lawler tries to give Warrior a beautiful painting but then smashes it on his head. NO NOT THE BASEBALL CAP!

Goldust joins Vince for a promo in the ring and makes various innuendos as this taping is rapidly running out of steam.

The Smoking Gunns v. Matt & Jeff Hardy

Bart gets a press slam on Jeff while Sunny joins us on commentary and the announcers completement ignore the match in favor of an argument between Sunny and the Godwinns via inset. Which is hilarious because a few years later and this would have been considered an all time dream match by some people. Gunns finish Matt with the Sidewinder at 2:30.

SLAM JAM! WITH HANDSOME DOK HENDRIX!

Dok runs down the PPV card and we hear from Jim Cornette.

King of the Ring quarterfinal: Jake Roberts v. Justin Hawk Bradshaw

Bradshaw puts him down with a shoulderblock while we get an inset promo from Jake to preview his Action Zone interview. Jake quickly hits the kneelift, but Bradshaw bails to avoid the DDT and we take a break. Back with Bradshaw hitting a knee in the corenr to take over, while throwing up the horns so many times that I think Stan Hansen is probably calling his lawyer. Meanwhile, JR breaks the scoop that BRIAN PILLMAN is on his way into the WWF. Bradshaw beats on him in the corner and even Perfect is complaining that the match is boring. Jake makes the comeback, but Bradshaw cuts him off. Lariat misses and Jake hits the DDT to advance at 6:13. Bradshaw was losing momentum rapidly at this point.

And we wrap it up with a recap of the Mankind-UT feud thus far.

Next week: Unclear, because there’s not another taping until after King of the Ring and nothing left from these tapings to air. Probably some kind of clip show, I’d guess.