The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 03.07.92

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 03.07.92

Taped from Tampa, FL on 02.17.92

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Mr. Perfect, saluting the Girl Scouts of America this week. Um, ew.

Money Inc. v. Jim Powers & Terry Davis

So last week, they had a still photo of Jimmy holding up the tag team titles while teasing the title change, and it turns out that the photo came from this match, as he holds up the belts before the match here. I just find stuff like that interesting. The champs double-team Davis in the corner and Dibiase quickly finishes with the Million Dollar Dream, but only lets the arm drop twice before releasing it and letting IRS pin him with the Write Off at 1:55.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE! BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE WWF FAN CLUB!

Let us take you back to last week, when Jake locked Undertaker’s hand in the casket and then brutalized him with a chair, turning Undertaker babyface for real. So of course Undertaker will now meet Jake Roberts at Wrestlemania and I don’t like Jake’s chances.

The British Bulldog v. Lee Armstrong

Ah yes, the forgotten, fatter Armstrong sibling. Bulldog hits him with a delayed suplex, so delayed they should call it Trump’s trade deals, and takes him down to work on the arm. And the running powerslam finishes at 1:50.

Shawn Michaels v. Scott Hen

Yes, it’s the historic debut of SEXY BOY, the theme song that would endure for the rest of his career. Shawn with the backbreaker to start and he follows with a dropkick to put him on the floor. Sherri gives him a seductive glance, allowing Shawn to hit the guy with a clothesline from the apron, and back in for a superkick before finishing with the teardrop suplex at 2:07. And then we follow them back to the limousine, and SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING.

Tatanka v. Doug Somers

Doug looks kind of weird with dark hair. Not used to that look. Is that even the same Doug Somers? Tatanka and his longboy tights are also a weird look. He hits Somers with a suplex and press slam, and then does a wardance and hits him with a kneelift before finishing with a samoan drop at 1:44.

Meanwhile, Mean Gene joins Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect in their dressing room, and Gene wants ANSWERS. So Flair reveals the best kept secret in wrestling: Flair has photos of Elizabeth in his collection, and Liz is feeling nervous right now because Flair was the greatest lover she ever had. And indeed, Flair produces a photo of himself with Liz at the pool, which means SHE WAS MINE BEFORE SHE WAS YOURS. And now she’s damaged goods because Flair used her and dumped her. Home run angle. I was 100% invested in that title match after they dropped this one.

The Big Bossman v. The Brooklyn Brawler

ALLITERATION BATTLE! Vince is AGHAST at Perfect digging up dirt on Elizabeth. Yeah he’d be the expert on that kind of thing. Bossman slugs Brawler out of the ring, but Brawler tries to use that to his advantage and runs Bossman into the post, which is blocked. Back in the ring, Bossman with the spinebuster for the pin at 1:33. They probably could have had a longer match but whatever.

WRESTLEMANIA REPORT! WITH MEAN GENE!

We of course hear from Hulk Hogan, as apparently Sid has added Dr. Harvey Wippleman as his manager and Hulk rambles about sharks at Trader Vic’s or something. And of course we have some new matches, like Tatanka v. Rick Martel, Owen Hart v. Skinner and British Bulldog v. Berzerker. Card subject to change.

Sid Justice v. Mickey Jay

So thanks to Hogan for spoiling the reveal of Sid’s new manager here in the previous segment. Sid immediately tosses Jay and clotheslines him on the floor, and then finishes with the powerbomb at 1:05. Sid and Harvey was a loser combination that ruined Sid’s chances of being a main event guy, but he was basically suspended by this point anyway and just came back for Wrestlemania.

NEXT WEEK: More pictures of Elizabeth! Randy Savage does a special interview to respond to the allegations! More Sid! Bret Hart! The Natural Disasters!

Well aside from dropping an all time banger of an angle, not much this week.