The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 02.29.92

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 02.29.92

Taped from Amarillo, TX on 01.28.92

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Mr. Perfect, celebrating National Frozen Foods month.

Tito Santana v. Brian Elmore

Vince announces that Tito will be facing Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, which is replacing the planned Shawn v. Marty match that was dropped before making it to TV. Tito slugs away in the corner and backdrops Elmore, setting up El Pasa de Muerte to finish at 1:30.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE! BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE WWF MERCH CATALOG!

So finally, a MONTH after the fact, we learn that Ted Dibiase & IRS have won the tag team titles from the Legion of Doom in Denver on 2/7. So the story put forth here is that “one of the members” of the LOD was injured by the Natural Disasters in a previous match, so the Disasters wanted to postpone the tag title shot to another time, and Jimmy Hart offered up Money Inc as a substitute and they won the titles. None of that makes any sense. Anyway, the Natural Disasters have now fired Jimmy Hart and he’s with the new champions and they’re facing each other at Wrestlemania for the tag team titles now. That was sure a lot to pack into one segment. So now the Disasters are babyfaces and LOD is apparently gone. The implication of the story given seems to be that Hawk was injured or absent and Animal was basically defending the tag titles by himself in Denver, but of course there’s no footage.

Repo Man v. Don Richter

Virgil does an inset promo where he clarifies that he comes from the streets where you have to be SNEAKY to survive. Like sneaking breadsticks into your bag when you’re at Olive Garden, I bet! Kneebar finishes at 1:00.

The New Foundation v. Todd Overbow & Kris Germany

Anvil quickly hits Overbow with a spinebuster and Owen follows with a middle rope elbow, and it’s over to Germany, as Owen backdrops him and it’s over to the Anvil. He powerslams Germany and Owen finishes with the Rocket Launcher at 2:10. And that’s it for Jim Neidhart, who left the promotion under bad circumstances after this taping.

EVENT CENTER! WITH SEAN MOONEY!

The hype this week is for the March 23 MSG show, which was the final televised version of the show. Main event is Sid & Ric Flair v. Hulk Hogan & Roddy Piper, which sounds like it’s probably worth a watch. Curious why they didn’t reunite the Megapowers for that one, actually. Piper and Hogan do a promo and Roddy is pretty cut up at this point, actually.

Papa Shango v. Larry Williams

I actually just watched Williams getting squashed by Sid on a 1990 episode of the Power Hour this morning, and he’s actually put on weight since then. The two reviews will likely be posted so far apart that it’s meaningless to even mention it, but that’s how I roll. Shango slams him and drops an elbow, and hits the shoulderbreaker to finish at 1:18. Still no “voodoo” tricks yet, as the black ooze nonsense didn’t start until after Wrestlemania.

WRESTLEMANIA VIII REPORT! WITH MEAN GENE!

Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect still know a secret about Macho Man, but they’re not telling yet. Also Sid explains jungle psychology for us, and Hulk compares him to Jeffrey Dahmer and/or Charles Manson. That seems a bit extreme.

Kerry Von Erich v. Kato

I’m always surprised when I see Kerry kicking around in 1992, although he was only around until July. Tornado punch finishes at 0:30.

The Funeral Parler, with special guest Jake Roberts. Jake is pretty pissed off that Undertaker cock-blocked his attack on Elizabeth after SNME, and he wants to know who’s side Undertaker is on? Undertaker: “Not yours.” And there’s the babyface turn that made him into a megastar. Jake grabs the urn and tosses it into the coffin, locking Undertaker’s hand in the lid when he goes to grab it, and then he DDTs Paul Bearer and attacks Taker with a chair. Yeah that’s probably not gonna end well for Jake. Jake goes to cut a promo, but Taker suddenly stands up, and so Jake has to beat him down with the chair again and finish his promo. But then Taker does another zombie situp, while dragging the casket attached to his hand, so Jake freaks out and pulverizes him with the chair while Undertaker just keeps coming at him. Finally Jake gets one last cheapshot and then runs away in terror. This was TREMENDOUS. Jake Roberts has fucked with the wrong person.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan & Sgt. Slaughter v. Rudy Gonzales & Dale Wolfe

Duggan and Slaughter are now basically left without a purpose with Money Inc as the tag team champions feuding with the Disasters and they were broken up soon after this, doing a few jobs for the Disasters on the house show circuit and then going singles again after Wrestlemania. Duggan quickly hits Rudy with the three point stance and pins him at 1:30.

NEXT WEEK: Money Inc! Tatanka! Sid Justice! Shawn Michaels! And Ric Flair reveals what the big secret is!