The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 02.22.92

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 02.22.92

Taped from Amarillo, TX, on 01.28.92

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Mr. Perfect

Bret Hart v. Ed Robinson

Vince dares to call Perfect’s curly blond locks a “mop”, which is patently ridiculous on its face. Robinson, dressed like the world’s worst Macho Man cosplayer, tries a shoulderblock and gets beaten down and slammed by Bret. Piper does an inset promo while Bret hits the backbreaker and middle rope elbow, and the Sharpshooter finishes at 1:40. As for the IC title match at WM, Perfect doesn’t really care who wins.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE! BROUGHT TO YOU BY COLISEUM VIDEO!

Apparently corrupt old Tunney announced a DOUBLE MAIN EVENT last week, which has rocked the foundation of the WWF. My foundations are certainly rocked. Well, hopefully people won’t spend the next decade or two or three obsessed with the announced Hogan-Flair match or anything. So we take another look at the SNME tag match like last week, and then another look at Sid smashing up the Barber Shop while Beefcake runs away like a coward. Also Gene makes no mention of a “special guest referee” for the Hogan-Sid match, so that idea was already dropped.

Tatanka v. BA Dalton

Vince declares him to be “the most exciting Native American athlete since Jim Thorpe”, which I think is discounting both Allan Iron Eagle and the Brisco Brothers. Tatanka throws chops and quickly finishes with the samoan drop at 1:30.

Don’t forget to pick up the latest issue of the WBF Lifestyles Magazine, featuring a big story on how to dress to show off your muscles! Hopefully it’s also got a feature on where to hide your steroids most effectively when you’re going through the airport. Spoiler: Up your butt.

Ted Dibiase & IRS v. Jimmy James & Larry Williams

So we’re a couple of weeks after Money Inc winning the tag team titles, with absolutely no mention of it on TV thus far, although this was taped two weeks BEFORE it happened, so we’re in a weird limbo. They don’t even have a name yet here! Dibiase hits James with a snap suplex and brings Williams in, and they double-team him in their corner. Irwin adds a suplex and drops an elbow on him, and Dibiase hits the fistdrop and adds a backbreaker for two. Irwin comes in and puts the boots to Williams, and Dibiase powerslams him and finishes him off with the Million Dollar Dream before letting it go so Irwin can finish with the Write Off for real at 3:33 instead. Well that was very generous of him. Also even though they were the tag team champions, they were barely even a team on the house show circuit, mostly doing singles matches with Tito Santana and Big Bossman until Wrestlemania.

WRESTLEMANIA REPORT! WITH MEAN GENE!

Hulk Hogan v. Sid Justice! Ric Flair v. Macho Man! Rowdy Roddy Piper v. Bret Hart! We hear from Sid, who COULD have crushed Beefcake’s face into a million pieces, but showed mercy and chose not to. Hulk Hogan points out that a lot of people have stabbed him in the back over the years, a lot of so-called friends. MAYBE THERE’S A REASON FOR THAT, HUH?

Randy Savage v. Jake Roberts

From Saturday Night’s Main Event on FOX. They’ve basically showed everything from that show on Superstars now. They brawl on the floor to start and Savage tosses a chair in the ring and then chokes Jake out on the ropes instead and elbows him in the throat. Jake tosses him to buy some time, but Savage clobbers Jake from behind and they head to the floor again. Jake runs him into the post and we take a break, returning with Savage hitting him with a back elbow out of the corner, but he goes up and misses the axehandle. Jake hits the DDT OUTTA NOWHERE, but he wants the ref to count Savage down instead of pinning him, and then he picks Savage up and gives him the short clothesline. Another DDT is countered with a backdrop, as Savage dumps Jake over the top rope and follows with the double axehandle on the railing. Back in the ring, Macho finishes him off with the big elbow at 5:23. And he goes up and drops another one before grabbing the ring bell, but the referees bail Snake out and let him escape back to the dressing room. Clearly the best of their series and the closest thing to the epic blowoff that this feud deserved. ***1/2.

And then, BONUS FOOTAGE, as we discover that Jake is hiding behind the curtain at the gorilla position with his broken nose miraculously healed and a chair ready for Elizabeth. But when he goes to swing it, Undertaker stops him and Savage is able to leave Jake laying. And Undertaker’s babyface turn was off and running.

NEXT WEEK: Papa Shango! Duggan & Slaughter! The New Foundation! Repo Man! Jake the Snake on the Funeral Parlor!