The SmarK Rant for WWF on PRISM – 08.24.85

The SmarK Rant for WWF Spectrum Wrestling on PRISM – 08.24.85

Another show I’ve always wanted to check out, which is now available in Fish & Chips thanks to Richard Land. The main event is pretty notable here.

Hey, Hat Guy is now part of the opening credits!

Taped from the Spectrum in Philly, drawing 10,000.

Your hosts are Dick Graham & Gorilla Monsoon

Gator Wolf v. Terry Gibbs

Gorilla notes that Gator Wolf is an Indian wrestler, but clarifies that he means Native American and not “Indian wrestling”. Mel Phillips starts out by introducing “from the 82^nd Airborne” and then the music suddenly starts with the chanting and drums and Mel realizes he’s got the wrong name on his card. Not the worst mistake he’d ever make in his life. Mr. Wolf was also known as Steve Gatorwolf, but here he’s apparently trying to be Jay Strongbow. Not many high level Native American wrestlers named Steve I guess. The Gator with an atomic drop and some chops while Gorilla pretty much says THIS IS THE NEW CHIEF JAY STRONGBOW in case we hadn’t clued in yet. Gator Wolf with a chop and suplex for two and Gibbs runs away, but Gator Wolf catches him with more chops as he seems to have hit the wall with his offensive output. Gibbs puts him down with a kneelift for two and dodges a blind charge, and that gets two as well. Gibbs throws him out and back in for an elbow drop that gets two. Gator Wolf with a hiptoss for two and a small package for two. Another chop finishes at 5:22. ½* His push was aborted soon after because he apparently couldn’t remember to do his war dance when instructed and he was relegated to jobber quickly. And then…uh…I wouldn’t recommend researching his career any further. He’s just a terrible human being and we’ll leave it at that.

Cpl. Kirshner v. AJ Petrucci

Speaking of second rate replacements, the Corporal was the Temu version of Sgt. Slaughter after an early run on TV as hippie jobber RT Reynolds. This would certainly be a departure from that. To this day I can never figure out if it’s supposed to be Kirchner, Kirshner, or Kirschner, because they spelled it all three ways. In this case they have it spelled “Kirshner”. The Corporal works the arm for a while and takes him down with a legsweep. AJ gives him the boot rake and puts the boots to the Corporal, sending him to the floor. Back in, Corporal misses a blind charge and takes an awkward bump into the corner, but then slingshots AJ in from the apron for two. Gut wrench gets two as Gorilla calls the referee blind and incompetent, as per usual. AJ runs away and they redo the spot from earlier, with Corporal hitting his planned monkey flip out of the corner this time instead of smashing into the turnbuckle like a goober, and an elbow gets two. Corporal with a lariat and he finishes with a samoan drop at 7:38. Really bad, as Kirshner wasn’t anything resembling good until he went to Japan years later. DUD. Anyone else see Pat the NES Punk when they watch young Kirshner at this point or nah?

Cowboy Bob Orton v. Lanny Poffo

Orton of course points out that his cast is entirely legal and his arm should be avoided. Poffo dropkicks him into the corner and chases him to the floor right away. Back in, Poffo wins a wrestling battle on the mat and Bob bails in frustration again. Graham: “You blink an eye and that guy’s gonna be around the back of you!” Yeah a lot of that going around in the locker room, I hear. Poffo takes him down and works the arm, and Orton slams out, so Poffo does a bridge back to his feet and takes him down with another armdrag. Orton tries to use the cast and misses, hitting his own “broken” arm on the mat, and that allows Poffo to take him down and ram his head into the mat for two. So Poffo goes to the arm again and gets a cradle for a two count that seemed PRETTY close to three, and Orton retreats to the floor again. Poffo does some flips because he’s fired up, and goes back to the arm until Orton just punches out of it and rams him into the mat. Orton drops him on the top rope and takes him to the apron for an elbow to the throat, drawing some pretty impressive heel heat while Poffo sells. “Look at me, Orton says, it’s Christmas Dinner and I’ve got myself a big steak!” notes Graham. What he said. Poffo with a sunset flip for two, but Orton puts him down with a delayed version of the slingshot suplex, which is very cool. Bob goes up with a pump splash but hits the knees, as Poffo is just spot on with his hope spots and comeback, and he slugs away in the corner and takes Bob down with a monkey flip and atomic drop. Poffo dropkicks him and Bob bumps into the turnbuckle off that, but Poffo charges and Bob gets the knees up. These men are MECHANICS out there. And then Orton takes him to the top for the superplex, and of course that finishes at 14:05. This was a tremendous piece of business and Orton was making the most out of his push in 1985. ***1/2

And now we stop to get a music video for “Wrestlin’” by The Fad, a reasonably catchy pop song about doing airplane spins to people.

https://youtu.be/xihOJN-lTWs?si=0YAHxRUD0a-mNOlP

Paul Orndorff v. Rowdy Roddy Piper

Featuring special referee BRUNO! OK so that’s why he was involved in those tag matches later in the year. The heat for this one is of course off the charts, and they charge in and slug it out right away and Piper goes to the apron and manages to get himself tied in the ropes in the process. Back in the ring, Piper pokes him in the eye and tries a cheapshot in the corner, but Bruno grabs his arm to stop him, so Piper rakes the eyes instead. Piper with a clothesline, which gets two. He argues that with Bruno, and Bruno isn’t putting up with any crap tonight, so they fight to the floor instead. Piper rams him into the table and demands the count from Bruno, but then won’t let Orndorff back into the ring and Bruno pulls him off and shoves him away. Orndorff comes back with a sleeper and Piper is fading, but gets his feet on the ropes, and Orndorff won’t break. So Bruno has to break them up, which allows Piper to sneak out and toss a drink at Orndorff before grabbing the chair and taking it out on Bruno. I believe this is where modern audiences would chant “You fucked up!” Paul makes a comeback and goes for a piledriver, but Bob Orton runs in and takes him out, and the heels attacking Sammartino again, but Bruno comes back and KICKS SOME ASS and the heels run away as the match is thrown out at 7:00. Granted I’m an unabashed Bruno fanboy these days but his refereeing job was a tad biased, I’ll admit. ***

Meanwhile, Bruno and Wonderful talk with Gorilla backstage after the match, although they forget to put anything over top of the green screen behind them.

The Missing Link v. Tony Garea

Garea slugs away and the Link runs away. I guess he was managed by Bobby Heenan at this point, but the Link seems like a perfect match for Mr. Fuji. Link runs Tony into the turnbuckle, but misses a headbutt, and Garea goes to work on the arm. Link takes him to the floor and runs him into the post to take over. Link tries to bring the stairs into the ring for some reason, which gives Garea a chance to recover and fight back on the floor. Back in the ring, Garea slugs away and gets a kneelift for one, and more punches in the corner as Garea doesn’t really have a plan here. He kinda works on the leg a bit and even the announcers are puzzled about what he’s trying to accomplish here, and a crossbody gets two. But Link hits his headbutt, and then Garea dodges a splash and rolls him up for two. Small package gets two. But then Garea puts his head down and Link hits him with a headbutt for the pin at 8:11. This was a weird, clunky style clash that didn’t work at all. *. Link was an OK character for the time but didn’t stick around long past this initial push.

Big John Studd v. Cousin Junior

Junior hits Studd with his mule kicks and chases him to the floor for a showdown with Hillbilly Jim. Back in the ring, Studd puts him down with a kneelift and adds a slam. Junior comes back and tries a slam, but Studd cuts him off with another kneelift and drops him on the top rope before choking him out until the count of five for the DQ at 3:24. A fan had a “Studd the DUD” sign at ringside and I can’t argue with that. DUD

WWF World tag team title: Barry Windham & Mike Rotundo v. The Dream Team

The US Express are using “Born in the USA” as their entrance song, continuing the great American tradition of not understanding what the fuck that song is actually about. So weird to see Windham & Rotundo with the modern version of the tag titles instead of the ones they had at Wrestlemania. Big brawl to start and they slug it out in the corners, leading to the Dream Team having a meeting in the minds in the middle and retreating to the floor. Back in the ring, the champs double-team Beefcake and send him to the floor. Back in the ring, Valentine starts out with Rotundo and doesn’t do very well with him, as Mike hits him with a dropkick and Windham comes in for a double-team and drops an elbow for two. Over to Beefcake, but he gets trapped in the babyface corner right away and Rotundo goes to work on him and takes him down with an armbar. Champs with a double dropkick on Brutus for two, but Valentine makes the save, which I’m assuming was their SECRET SAVE for the match. Finally Valentine has had enough of Beefcake’s bumbling and comes in and takes over on Rotundo himself. Valentine slugs away and drops knees on Rotundo’s leg, but Windham breaks that up, so Beefcake comes in and puts the boots to Mike. Knee to the gut gets two. Valentine cuts off the ring with the facelock and we get the false tag behind the ref’s back, allowing the heels to toss Rotundo to the floor and get some more heat. Back in the ring, Valentine goes up and drops an elbow, but Rotundo fights back and dives for the tag, only for Brutus and get in between with another facelock. That’s some good, simple, tag team wrestling strategy there. Rotundo takes him down with a double-leg, but goes into the heel corner with it and allows Valentine to tag in again and cut off the tag again. Greg with a shoulderbreaker for two. Figure-four, but Rotundo fights out of that, and then Beefer cuts it off AGAIN and they collide for a double down. Rotundo making sure to bump towards the heel corner and maintain the heat is great stuff. Beefcake gets two off the double-down, but Rotundo finally escapes the Hammer and it’s HOT TAG Windham. He’s a HOUSE OF FIRE with dropkicks and slugs away before tossing Beefcake, and the bulldog on Valentine gets two. So he tries it again, but Beefcake breaks it up and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA. Johnny V hands Beefcake his lit cigar, however, and Beefcake rubs it in Barry’s eyes, putting Valentine on top for the pin and the titles at 19:00 in something of a shocking upset, to say the least. NOBODY in the crowd saw that one coming, you could tell. Great match, great finish. ***3/4

And we’ve got a few minutes left, so we get a standby match with some scrubs.

Rick McGraw v. Bret Hart

They trade armbars and the crowd rapidly turns on the match, as Bret bails and then chokes McGraw out on the ropes to take over. Bret pounds away on him as the crowd is really not wanting to see this match, with people yelling “boring” over and over, although probably with tears in their eyes since it’s Bret. McGraw with a suplex and backslide for two, but he misses a dropkick and Bret hits him with a backbreaker and goes up with a middle rope elbow to finish at 5:30. Holy shit, he actually PINNED SOMEONE with that combo?!?

Pretty smoking hot show this time around, and I’m glad to finally see that tag team title change in its entirety.