The SmarK Rant for WWF on PRISM – 10.26.85
By Scott Keith on 8 March 2025
The SmarK Rant for WWF on PRISM – 10.26.86
Taped from Philadelphia, drawing 16000 for the rematch from that last Philly show I reviewed. No Hulk Hogan in the main event this time but still a big match.
Your hosts are Dick Graham & Gorilla Monsoon
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Tony Garea v. Dave Barbie
Barbie is a big thick boy and he overpowers Garea to start, but Tony dropkicks him to the apron. Back to the ring and Barbie works a headlock while Gorilla discusses the tag team situation and all the challengers for the Dream Team. The one that both horrifies and fascinates me the most is supposedly King Tonga paired up with Dino Bravo as babyfaces. So I checked, and unbelievably this was a REAL THING THAT HAPPENED, as they had been feuding in Montreal and then came together as a team, actually getting wins over the Hart Foundation and even beating the Dream Team by DQ in a title match. Anyway that’s way more interesting than anything happening in this match thus far, as Barbie keeps headlocking Garea but then misses a charge and hits the post. Garea has no followup and Gorilla immediately buries him as too lethargic and perhaps suffering from the flu because he sucks. Barbie with a bearhug, but Garea fights back and finishes with a crossbody at 9:24. Just a very basic opener. *
David Sammartino v. Steve Lombardi
Lombardi attacks in the corner and puts the boots to young David, but David fights back and hits him with a press slam. It’s interesting watching David earlier in his career, when he was working more of a junior heavyweight style, before bulking up for the WWF and basically just paying tribute his dad. But of course, there’s only one Bruno and it wasn’t going to work. David with an armbar and he slams Lombardi around and works the arm. Lombardi takes him to the floor for a brawl out there and David takes a trip to the post, allowing Lombardi to take over. David slugs back and makes the comeback as Lombardi and his big selling are really the only thing making David look halfway competent. Steve bumps over the top and David slams him on the floor and brings him back in with a suplex. David with a powerslam to finish at 9:27. David was clearly going nowhere by this point. *1/2. And in fact, the show that aired the month after this is the famous Ron Shaw match.
Danny Spivey v. Terry Gibbs
The announcers are like “Oh man, I thought it was Barry Windham!” which pretty much seals his fate right there. Spivey with a rollup for two and he takes Gibbs down for the armbar. High knee gets two and a small package gets two, but Gibbs puts him down and goes to the top. Spivey slams him off and splashes him for the pin at 6:49. A very generic squash win for a guy that was supposedly groomed to be the next Hulk Hogan. ½*
Tiger Chung Lee v. Pedro Morales
Pedro gets a slam, so Lee offers a respectful bow and then chops the crap out of him in the corner. Pedro tries to fight back, so Lee tosses him over the top rope in an impressive bump. Lee keeps interrupting the count and slams Pedro on the floor, as the announcers both bury the ref because it’s clearly been more than a 10 count out there. Back in, Lee chokes him out in the corner, but Pedro makes the comeback and slugs him down. Small package finishes at 9:55. This the fourth match in a row where Gorilla literally told us that it was going to be the finish while it was happening. ½*
Intercontinental title: Tito Santana v. Magnificent Muraco
Tito has that hot new IC title that all the kids are talking about, while Muraco is deep into his big fat beach bum era while pursuing a career in Hollywood with Mr. Fuji. Muraco tries a headlock and Tito slams out of it and works his own headlock. But Muraco takes out the leg with the help of Fuj the Stooge and goes to work on it. He wraps Tito’s knee around the post and beats on that before going to a deathlock. He tries a figure-four and Tito slugs out of it, so Muraco chops him down and catapults him under the ropes. Tito’s selling here is just magnificent, pardon the pun. The crowd is just shrieking in horror with every move. Muraco goes for the tombstone and Tito kicks him in the ears to break and makes a comeback, fired up and still limping to sell the knee injury. Tito puts the boots to him and works the leg, but Muraco shoves him into the corner and Fuji attacks. Tito gets rid of him, but Muraco attacks from behind, so Tito sweeps the leg and puts him in the figure-four as the crowd is losing their minds. And Fuji finally just runs in and throws salt in Tito’s face to save his man at 13:50. Muraco was on the downswing but he still had some incredible heat at this point and this was a great match. ***3/4
WWF Women’s title: Wendi Richter v. The Spider Lady
We’re still a month away from the fateful screwjob in MSG, but obviously Vince was playing the long game by having Wendi defending against Penny Mitchell as the masked Spider Lady over and over so that she wouldn’t suspect anything in New York. Wendi hits the Spider with a spinkick but gets cradled for two. Man, Wendi should be careful about getting cradled by the Spider Lady, or so I’ve heard. Spider Lady chokes her out and they do the test of strength, but Wendi takes her down for two. Spider Lady with a boot rake and she drops a knee for two. Lots of choking in the corner as this one is running way longer than it needs. Wendi fights back with a monkey flip and they go to the top, where Wendi just kind of throws her down and then finishes with a crossbody at 11:00 to retain. Bleh. *
Terry Funk v. The Junkyard Dog
Funk’s pre-match promo with Kal Rudman clarifies the science that says it’s 95% certain that JYD is an imbecile because of horse breeding, of which Terry is an expert. Is Kal an expert? NO. Case closed. Funk attacks and that goes badly for him, as Dog slugs him to the floor and Funk is swinging at the timekeeper and Gorilla. Gorilla is having none of that, so Funk tosses his chaps at the Dog, and Dog steals the cowboy hat and disrespectfully parades around the ring in that. Dog throws it down and Funk dives for it, so Dog headbutts him on the way down and Funk takes a bump backwards and manages to crotch himself on the post. Back in the ring, Terry wants a boxing match and he loses that as well and manages to pinball himself into three corners off one punch. So Funk’s next plan is to headbutt JYD in the corner, which is also stupid, and he goes flying off that and JYD gets two. To the floor for some emotional support from Jimmy Hart as Funk is beyond playing for the cheap seats and he’s playing for the next town over at this point. Funk with another bump to the floor, but Dog goes after Jimmy Hart this time and that finally allows Terry to nail him from behind and take over. Back in the ring, Funk beats him down and applies the Famous Funk Spinning Toehold, but Dog punches out of it. Funk decides to go to the top, but manages to fall down and busts himself open in the process. Dog literally did nothing there, Terry just took the bump himself. Dog comes back with a sleeper and then goes after Jimmy before putting Funk down with headbutts, but Terry trips him up and cradles for two with Jimmy helping. But the ref catches him, and Dog gets a small package for the pin at 11:30. This was 150% Terry Funk out there working a match by himself while Dog basically stood there like a tackling dummy, but it was tremendous entertainment. ***
Hillbilly Jim & Cousin Junior v. Moondog Spot & Iron Mike Sharpe
Well this is certainly a match. Iron Mike is sadly disrespected by the 100 year old ring announcer, who will NOT announce him as Canada’s Greatest Athlete in the manner he deserves. “It’s written right on the card!” Sharpe points out. Sharpe with a full nelson on Hillbilly, but Jim breaks out of it and goes to work on the arm. So Spot comes in and hits Junior with a high knee and follows with a flying knee. I think Junior actually became a Moondog later on, in fact. The heels double-team Junior and sucker Jim into the ring to set up more double-teaming on Junior. Sharpe with a necksnap on the top rope and he goes to a facelock to cut off the tag, but Junior gets a sunset flip on Spot for two. Back to the heel corner for more shenanigans as Spot knows exactly how to work a basic tag team match and make it watchable. Sharpe with a whip into the corner, but he misses the charge and it’s hot tag Hillbilly. Jim with a big boot on Iron Mike and that gets two. Sharpe loads up his gauntlet, but Jim catches it and hits Mike with his own forearm and pins him at 7:50. I wanna say I’ve seen them do that finish before around the same time but it’s really clever and this was a surprisingly decent match. **1/2
Cage match: Paul Orndorff & Bruno Sammartino v. Rowdy Roddy Piper & Cowboy Bob Orton
Everyone slugs it out and Bruno wastes no time blading off Orton’s cast. The faces ram them into the cage repeatedly to get some revenge and Piper is busted open, while Orton literally gigs himself on the hard cam side. Piper runs away from Mr. Wonderful and climbs the cage, but Paul pulls him down by the ears and back into the ring. Orton also climbs up and Bruno drops him on the top rope to crotch him. So then Bruno turns his attention to Piper and beats him to a pulp, but Piper pokes him in the eyes and the heels take over. They go to stereo chinlocks, but the babyfaces do a MEGAPOWER HANDSHAKE to revive and fight back. Piper tries to climb and Bruno crotches him on the top rope. Orndorff and Orton slug it out on top of the cage and fight down the side of the cage, but Orndorff drops down first for the win at 7:38. So Orton runs back into the ring and the heels double-team Bruno while Wonderful is trapped outside the cage, but finally he climbs back over the top and the heels flee to end the show. A suitably wild cage match but not the level of chaos that the previous month was. Glad to see an actual blowoff to the Orndorff-Piper feud, however. ***
Bit of a letdown this time around, although the Tito-Muraco match was a pleasant surprise and Terry Funk was godlike as usual in carrying JYD to something watchable. Next time sees Andre the Giant v. King Kong Bundy and Fuji Vice v. Steamboat & Santana, so that’s got promise. Plus David Sammartino returns for a match you may have heard about before.