The SmarK Rant for WWF on PRISM – 09.28.85
By Scott Keith on 15 February 2025
The SmarK Rant for WWF on PRISM – 09.28.85
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Taped from Philly and you can’t BELIEVE the card they’re throwing out for this one. Holy crap. Sold out with 19,100. And there was something like 3 other shows that night!
Your hosts are Dick Graham & Gorilla Monsoon
Quick Draw Rick McGraw v. Moondog Spot
One of the last matches for McGraw here. This crowd is huge and JACKED tonight and I can’t blame them. McGraw controls Spot with armbars while Graham makes various excited noises, and a crossbody gets two. Gorilla of course slags him for not hooking the leg properly and notes that if you don’t have amateur background, you’re gonna get “eaten alive” by the high level of talent in the WWF right now. Yeah, like the guy wearing cutoff jeans and pretending to be a feral wolfman in the ring, I guess. McGraw keeps him on the mat with armbars, but Spot finally escapes with a backbreaker to take over, and runs McGraw into the corner before going to a chinlock. McGraw fights out of that, but Spot puts him down with a gutbuster and goes up with a forearm from the middle ropes for two. Back to the chinlock and McGraw fights out of that one, so Spot tosses him to the floor. Gorilla of course notes that it’s just ice under the boards, which is the same thing as concrete. My back can certainly testify to that. Spot hauls him back in the ring and beats on him with forearms, and a powerslam gets two. McGraw fights back and Spot puts him down with atomic drop for two, drawing a babyface reaction because he’s actually looking pretty impressive here. McGraw escapes a chinlock with a backdrop, but Spot falls on top for two and puts him down with a kneelift for two. Spot with a clothesline for two and he goes up, but Rick slams him off the top and makes the comeback. He slugs away in the corner and gets two off that. Backslide gets two. Dropkick misses, but Spot misses an elbow, and McGraw cradles him for two. But they go to the corner as McGraw tries a rollup, and Spot ducks and clotheslines McGraw on the turnbuckle and pins him at 16:30. Was this ANOTHER underrated Moondog Spot hidden gem? I think so! ***
SD Jones v. AJ Petrucci
The announcers tell a story about how SD had a burst appendix a couple of years before this and was on his deathbed, with only his great physical condition saving his life. I’ve never heard that before about him but I’m assuming Gorilla wouldn’t exaggerate about something like that. AJ takes him down and goes to a chinlock while Gorilla talks about how Hulk Hogan’s Rock N Wrestling is the influence on the youth of America that we’ve all been waiting for. That’s certainly one interpretation. SD slams out of the chinlock and slugs him down before going to his own chinlock. But then AJ reverses to HIS chinlock as it’s a real 4D chess battle here. The crowd is much less enthused for this battle of local Pennsylvania boys than they were for the opener. SD fights out with a headbutt but misses a blind charge, then thankfully just finishes AJ with a small package at 6:47 so they can go home. DUD. The 90 year old ring announcer is certainly excited about the result. That makes one of us.
Steve Gatorwolf v. King Kong Bundy
The graphic stylizes it as Steve “Gator” Wolf, which I don’t think is correct. And holy cow, is that young Hawaiian Shirt Guy at ringside?
All the stars are out in 1985!
Bundy works on the arm and beats him down while a sign at ringside alleges “King Kong is a Ding Dong”, showing that acerbic wit that Philly is known for. Bundy drops an elbow for two, but Gatorwolf makes an awkward comeback with chops and tries for a sleeper, but Bundy runs him into the corner to escape and the Avalanche follows. Big fat elbow finishes at 4:22, complete with the five count. WHO’S THE DING DONG NOW, PHILLY?
Heidi Lee Morgan joins us for a bodybuilding exhibition , as she had recently won a teenaged competition at age 18 and got approached by Vince McMahon about becoming a wrestler. So this was kind of weird, with the teenaged Morgan posing in a bikini for a while and then leaving. I know I’m probably doing it a gross disservice by just summing it up as “kind of weird” because I’m sure there’s a lot more we could say about it but there’s only so many hours in a day to peel back the layers of Vince McMahon’s psyche so we’ll leave it at that. But it’s WEIRD.
Rene Goulet v. Scotty McGee
McGee was new to the territory at this point, after leaving Florida about a week earlier. He works a headlock on Goulet and takes him down with an armbar as the crowd is already turning on the match. Meanwhile Gorilla shares his tales about going to Japan and meeting Rikidozan. Hey, someone should write a book about Gorilla’s life! It would probably be pretty good! I was gonna put a link for Brian Solomon’s upcoming book here but there’s no presale yet, so just pretend I did. They trade headlocks on the mat while Gorilla gives the secret to success in the WWF: If you can’t do the moves you see here, then pack up your lunch and go elsewhere because you’re not gonna make it! Meanwhile these guys are laying on the mat doing a headscissors while the fans go to the bathrooms. Wait, do Philly arenas have bathrooms or do you just piss on the walls when you’re finished with your beer? McGee finally escapes the headlock vortex with a sunset flip for two, but Goulet bails to the apron to slow it down again. Back in and it’s MORE headlocks and Gorilla is so bored that he starts talking about the Flyers. Nobody has cared about the Flyers since the 70s, including people who live in the city. I have no proof to back this up but I’m pretty sure everyone in the city all abandoned the team and switched to the Penguins in the 90s because at least they’re winners. Goulet with a back suplex and he goes to the SCORPION CLAW, which of course they teach to all children in France as the only form of self-defense they know, and that gets two. McGee fights out of the claw, but misses a charge and hits the post and Rene drops a knee on him and works him over for two. Goulet goes back to the claw as Gorilla buries McGee for not showing him any fire or excitement, and Scotty finally fights back and beats on Goulet with forearms in the corner. Atomic drop gets two. Sunset flip finishes at 14:33, thankfully. Way too long for what it was. *
Rowdy Roddy Piper & Cowboy Bob Orton v. Paul Orndorff & Bruno Sammartino
Holy cow, no wonder they sold out the Spectrum with this on the undercard. To say the crowd is excited for this one is an understatement. Big brawl to start and the crowd is just losing their minds for Bruno, as Piper runs away to escape and Orndorff runs him into the announce table. Back in the ring, Orndorff comes off the top with a headbutt on Piper and drops a knee on him. So Piper bumps over to the wrong corner and Bruno kicks his ass. Orndorff grabs Orton’s cast arm and rams it into Piper’s head, and he goes flying off that as the crowd is just nuts. That’s a great spot. Orton and Piper finally swarm Wonderful on the ropes and double-team him, and then Piper chokes out Bruno with his shirt to put him down. Bruno gets the shirt and returns the favor, but Orton chokes him out with the tag rope while Piper and Orndorff do a crazy brawl into the front row. Piper runs back into the ring to escape Orndorff and Bruno just grabs him and throttles him in the corner, only for Orton to use the cast to break it up. The heels keep double-teaming and Piper gets the sleeper as the ref finally gets control of the match. But then Orndorff comes off the top with a forearm to break that up, and the heels switch off on the sleeper. Bruno fights out and just hits Orton with upkicks from the mat to fight him off, so Orton chokes him out on the mat and Piper beats him down for two. Hot tag Orndorff and he just strangles Piper with the tag rope while Bruno beats on Orton outside, and finally Piper sends Orndorff into the post to escape being choked to death. Bruno tries to save and Orton hits him with a chair, and the heels beat the count at 8:00 and then make a run for their goddamn lives to escape while Orndorff goes nuts and throws chairs into the ring. “He’s calling for the bell but the bell is in the ring!” notes Gorilla. An absolutely insane brawl that probably could have closed the show. I bet we’re getting a cage match next month! Hopefully they can follow this one. ***3/4
Magnificent Muraco v. Ricky Steamboat
Speaking of hot feuds, Steamboat tries to attack and gets clobbered by Muraco, who drops an elbow on him, but Steamboat uses his belt to choke Muraco out. Steamboat with a sleeper and that gets two, but Fuji trips him up and Muraco takes over. More from the Philly sign patrol: “The only thing Magnificent about Muraco is his belly”. Tough but fair. I’ll allow it. Steamboat gets his gi off and uses it to choke Muraco out, then beats on him in the corner and goes to the chops and a neckbreaker. Muraco begs for mercy and Steamboat gives him THUMBS DOWN and runs him into the corner, but he misses the charge and hits the post, allowing Muraco to go to work. Muraco tosses him and runs him into the post, and back in for the nerve pinch. Steamboat fights out of that somehow, but Muraco puts him down with a kneelift and then yanks him out of the corner and goes back to the pinch again. That goes on for a while, until Steamboat fights out in the corner and Muraco misses a charge. Steamboat chops him down and runs him into the corner before dropping more chops on him and going up with the flying chop for two. Enzuigiri and Muraco bumps into the ref to take him out, and Fuj the Stooge runs in and beats on Steamboat with his cane. And of course, Steamboat steals it and runs wild, but the ref sees it and calls for the DQ at 16:00. The man was in a nerve pinch for 7 minutes, can you blame him for being upset? The crowd is still behind Steamboat and goes crazy for him chasing the heels out of the ring, regardless of the miscarriage of justice. That’s nice of them. Not a great match but it had crazy heat and did the job. **1/2
Barry O v. King Tonga
OK time to cool the crowd down a bit before the main event blows the roof off the place. Tonga with the chinlock, but Barry goes to the throat and slugs away to take over. Tonga reverses a suplex to make the comeback and chops Barry down for two. Splash misses and Barry goes up, but Tonga hits him on the way down while the announcers keep calling him “Tonga Kid”. Tonga then goes to work with a stepover toehold as this offense is a far cry from the MONSTER MENG, but the thrust kick finishes at 5:40. *
Next month: Piper & Orton v. Bruno & Orndorff rematch in a CAGE! Well there’s what we’re reviewing next time!
WWF title: Hulk Hogan v. Randy Savage
Savage has an amazing purple and yellow robe tonight, matching with Elizabeth, and Hogan is doing the all white scheme, just like he believes most strongly in real life. It actually sounds like a chunk of the angry Philly crowd boos him during the entrance, but then the brainwashed masses win out with their cheers after the introductions. You’d think Philly would embrace the greatness of MACHO MADNESS early on in his run but they let me down again. Hulk wins the lockup battle and Savage bails to the floor to yell at random ringsiders before heading back in and spitting on Hulk. So Hulk chases after him and Savage appears to hide behind Elizabeth due to what I can only assume is a video mastering error thanks to the age of the tape, or maybe sunspots. Back in the ring, Hulk with a headlock and the ref accuses Macho of pulling the hair to break, which is of course patently ridiculous on the face of it. Hulk runs him into the corner and brings him out with atomic drop as Savage bails to the floor and lands right behind his manager. And of course that orange gaslighting son of a bitch Hogan threatens to backhand an innocent lady! Back in the ring, Savage hits Hogan with a double axehandle because he deserves it, but misses a knee and Hulk comes back with a clothesline for two. The bell actually rings because obviously the fix is in for Hogan, and Savage escapes to the floor to escape this obvious injustice. So Hogan follows and throws Elizabeth around like a sack of garbage, and back in the ring Savage is so distraught that he misses the big elbow and gets pinned at 11:30. Thankfully Savage peacefully protests this obvious miscarriage of justice by beating up the idiot referee and claiming the belt that should have been rightfully his. I sense a rematch at some point in the future. ***
A GREAT show with a super hot crowd. You gotta love it. Hopefully the cage match delivers next time, too.