The SmarK Rant for WWF Monday Night RAW – 01.20.97

The SmarK Rant for WWF Monday Night RAW – 01.20.97

Continuing on with my quest to fill in the gaps of the Monday Night Wars, since I didn’t have January of 97 ever done.

Last night, it was the ROYAL RUMBLE, as the newspaper headline declares “Rock-Sock Rumble Shakes the Dome”. Apparently a slow news day in San Antonio.

Live from Beaumont, TX

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross

Bret Hart immediately hits the ring during the introductions, and he seems upset. So Bret points out Vince and gripes that he was promised an opportunity to fight for the WWF belt and would be the #1 contender if he beat Steve Austin at Survivor Series. And then he goes on a conspiracy filled rant about Shawn Michaels costing him the title match against Sid, and then getting stuck in the Rumble with 29 other guys and getting SCREWED out of that as well! EVERYONE HAS SCREWED BRET OVER. So he quits. Wait, he can’t do that! He just signed a 20 year contract! Only Vince is allowed to break signed deals when he doesn’t like them anymore!

And with that, Bret leaves through the audience, presumably never to be seen again.

This brings out Steve Austin to offer his rebuttal, although his microphone doesn’t work and he threatens to whip some ass. And then he goes off on an epic rant about how the Harts always run home when the going gets tough. The crowd cheers that line and Steve tells them to “knock it off”. And then Steve complains about getting jerked around for the past seven years and getting screwed out of HIS title shots, plus losing a match against Sid tonight because Sid is home with a concussion “and an ice pack on his head”. OH DAMN DON’T TELL SETH ROLLINS. Are we still making that joke? I’m bringing it back!

And with that, Vince walks away from the desk to go take care of business.

Owen Hart & The British Bulldog v. Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon

This is non-title. LaFon trades wristlocks with Owen, and he had a bunch of experience working Stampede as Dan Kroffat so he would obviously have good chemistry with Owen. LaFon with a sidekick to put Owen down and he brings Furnas in for a dropkick that gets two. Doug with an overhead suplex for two as Owen goes flying for him. Owen comes back with the leg lariat and Bulldog works Doug over on the ropes, but Furnas takes him down with a rana for two. Owen with a missile dropkick for two and he goes to a chinlock as we take a break. Back with JR railing against BAIT AND SWITCH tactics, like on that other channel, as the Harts continue to work Furnas over in the corner. Of all the companies to whine about bait-and-switch, the WWF was not the one to being taking that stand in 1997. Bulldog comes in and Furnas hits them with a double clothesline, but Owen cuts off the tag. Owen with the enzuigiri for two and Bulldog gets a delayed suplex, so delayed they should call it Vince facing justice, and Owen goes to a chinlock again. Owen with a belly to belly and he goes up and misses a diving headbutt. Hot tag LaFon and he runs wild with a leg lariat on Owen and a snap suplex on Bulldog and senton for two. Northern lights suplex gets two. Hurricane DDT gets two. Furnas comes in with a POUNCE and Owen bumps to the floor, but he grabs the Slammy on the way down and nails LaFon with it, putting Bulldog on top for the pin at 13:18. Don’t know why this was non-title if they were going over, but this was a GOOD-ASS tag team match, as the kids say. ***1/2. Unfortunately the crowd wasn’t into Furnas and LaFon much, despite the hot moves. Story of their WWF career.

Faarooq v. Bart Gunn

JR once again reminds us that we won’t have to sit through Robin Hood to see the main event of this show. Yeah but you do have to sit through an hour of 1997 WWF, so TAKE THAT. Bart works the arm and we take a break and return with Faarooq in control. Spinebuster gets two. Faarooq with a lengthy chinlock and he stomps Bart down for two. He goes up and Bart brings him down to counter, and makes the comeback with clotheslines. Bulldog gets two. But then Bart goes after the random Nation members outside and gets clobbered from behind, and the DOMINATOR finishes at 8:07. An OK match. *1/2

Vince McMahon joins us again, now with Gorilla Monsoon in tow, and Gorilla announces that Steve Austin will not get the title shot at Wrestlemania due to his tainted win, and will have to win a four-way match at the next PPV, against Bret Hart, Undertaker and Vader. This is clearly some bullshit, and Steve Austin rightly comes out to speak his mind and point out that Bret is a quitter. And there’s no instant replay rule in the WWF! He calls himself the Gorilla but he hee-haws like a jackass! That’s an amazing line. So Austin goes to confront Gorilla, but Bret Hart re-emerges from the crowd like Sting coming from the rafters, and apparently offering him a title match was all they needed to do, and he un-quits. And then Bret and Steve brawl up the aisle as we go to break.

This has been quite the hour of TV.

Steve Austin v. Undertaker

So after Bret gets hauled away by security, Taker gets some shots in of his own on the way by, and hits Steve with the ropewalk to chase him out of the ring. Vince stresses that everyone in the WWF is DELIGHTED to have Bret Hart back again. Sure Jan. Austin with a neckbreaker, but Taker sits up and Austin puts him down with an elbow again while Lawler yells from ringside to go after the ribs instead. Austin chokes him out on the ropes and goes to a chinlock and Lawler now goes to the ring and yells about the ribs. So Taker kicks Austin in the nuts pretty blatantly, but Steve hits him with KICK WHAM STUNNER and they’re both out. We take a break as Vader and Bret are brawling in the backstage area, and return with Steve dropping elbows on Taker for two. Austin goes up and Taker crotches him to continue the assault on his testes, but Austin finally hits Taker in the ribs to put him down, for two. Taker comes back with the flying clothesline, but Vader runs in for the DQ at 10:17. **3/4 And then Bret joins them for a huge brawl in the ring and into the aisle to end the show.

Well this was certainly a hot show, although unfortunately calling the product “uneven” at this point would be a huge understatement and they often took 3 steps back for every step they took forward. They definitely didn’t maintain the momentum coming off this one, but damn are there some layers to the Bret Hart storyline here in retrospect.