The SmarK Rant for WWF in MSG – 11.25.85

The SmarK Rant for WWF in MSG – 11.25.85

I was left hanging when the WWE Network abruptly stopped uploading these after the October 85 show, so I might as well finish out the year via Fish and Chips.

Taped from New York, New York, drawing 16000.

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura

Danny Spivey v. Terry Gibbs

The graphic lists this as “Terry Funk v. Junkyard Dog” but I think I’ve been watching wrestling long enough to tell the difference. Spivey takes Gibbs down and works the arm to start, as Gorilla notes that Dan’s furry boots are “like some kind of seal or mountain goat”. Those are drastically different types of material, I’d think. Danny continues working the arm, but Gibbs beats him down with chops in the corner to escape. So Spivey goes right back to the arm again as the crowd is already bored of this. And then Spivey misses a blind charge and hits the corner, allowing Gibbs to take over with an atomic drop and a backbreaker for two. Gibbs with a bearhug for a while and then he releases and hits a neckbreaker for two before going back to the bearhug. Spivey escapes that with a hiptoss, but misses an elbow, and Gibbs gets two. But then Danny hits another elbow for two this time, and drops a leg for two. Bulldog finishes this boring match at 10:00, thankfully. *

King Tonga v. Mr. X

X tries to work the arm, but Tonga puts him on the top rope and walks aay from him. Tonga takes him down for the nerve pinch and stays on that, really pinching that nerve good. But then he misses a senton and X takes over and chokes him out, showing that he can be dangerous in certain circumstances. X with a chinlock and that goes on for a while, but Tonga fights out, so X tries ramming him into the turnbuckles and that goes badly for him. Tonga comes back with an atomic drop and hits the thrust kick to finish at 8:55. Basically an extended squash for Tonga. ½*

Jesse Ventura v. Barry O

This was an unlikely challenge from the last show, with Barry beefing with Jesse for some reason. So Jesse decided to come out of semi-retirement and teach him a lesson. Barry actually works the arm to start, so Jesse grabs his wrist and rubs Barry’s hand on the ropes to break. Ha! Barry tries pounding on Jesse with forearms and a pair of back elbows to put him down, and that gets two. So Jesse takes him to the floor and puts the boots to him, but Barry goes to a chinlock to take over. Jesse fights out and uses various cheating to make the comeback and then chokes him out on the ropes, but Barry sends him into the corner and follows with a clothesline for two. They collide for a double down and Barry plays too much to the crowd before missing a dropkick. That allows Jesse to work on the back and finish with the body vice at 10:18. This was a fun idea on paper with a battle of cheating heels, but Jesse was beyond washed at that point and it didn’t work at all. ½*

Hercules Hernandez v. Cousin Junior

I don’t think this one is helping the show any. Herc beats him down with forearms and runs him into the corner, and then blocks a blind charge with a high knee before going to a chinlock. Junior escapes that, so Herc puts him down with another knee and drops an elbow on him for two. Back to the chinlock and Herc tosses him and then slugs him off the apron. Junior tries a sunset flip and Herc just drops a knee on his face to block that and gets two. Back to the chinlock, but Junior finally gets some offense and make the comeback 10 minutes into this thing. And then Herc immediately cuts him off with a back kick and puts him down with a shoulderblock. Hercules to the HEAVENS, but he misses a fistdrop and Junior makes a comeback with a backdrop. Junior reverses a powerslam into a rollup, but Herc grabs the overalls and pins him at 11:11. This was ATROCIOUS. DUD

WWF Women’s title: Wendi Richter v. The Spider

Oh we’re here, are we? So of course, Wendi was champion for most of 1985, but her star was fading and Vince stuck a new contract in her face on the way to the ring and told her to sign it or else. Wendi refused and went to the ring for what she thought was the same match she was having around the horn with “the Spider”. Wendi slugs the Spider down and goes for the mask, but she hides behind the ref and bails to the floor while the crowd chants “Moolah” because they’re clearly onto what’s going on. Back in the ring, Wendi tosses her out again and they run around the ring before Wendi grabs a leglock in the ring, wisely avoiding any pinning situations. Spider makes the ropes and Wendi drags her away and continues working the leg, but Spider chokes her out on the ropes. So Wendi goes for the mask again, but Spider continues the choking and Wendi bails to the floor. Back in, Wendi tries a flying headscissors and the Spider won’t go down for it, landing on top of Wendi for two. This match is SO awkward despite them working together thousands of times before. Spider runs her into the corner for two, but Wendi comes back with a clothesline for two. And then Spider gets a small package and the ref just counts three despite Wendi kicking out, and the Spider is Women’s champion at 7:00. So a confused Wendi continues the match as planned and gets a backbreaker after ripping off the mask and revealing Moolah, but the deed is done and Richter has been screwjobbed out of the belt. And that was her last match in the WWF and the official end of the Rock N Wrestling Era. At least it was a memorable end I guess. DUD

WWF tag team title: The Dream Team v. Tito Santana & Pedro Morales

The graphic lists “Titto Santana”, which would be his stripper equivalent I guess. Jesse goes off on Tito daring to wear the IC title to the ring when he’s not defending it, which is not a thing I’ve ever heard before as far as etiquette. Pedro wins a lockup battle with Valentine and runs him into Beefcake in the process. Hammer tries a slam and Pedro hits him with an atomic drop and Hammer bumps into the wrong corner and has to run away. Over to Tito and Hammer tries a figure-four right away, so Tito runs him into the corner and he also tries the figure-four. Valentine makes the ropes, so Tito starts working on the arm. Over to Beefcake, but Pedro runs him into Valentine as the crowd goes crazy, and Pedro slugs him down and works on the arm. They switch off and keep Beefcake on the mat with a hammerlock as Valentine keeps trying to come in and break it up, but Tito keeps cutting him off. Finally Hammer waits him out and gets the cheapshot behind the ref’s back, and the champs go to work on Pedro in the corner, bumping him to the floor in the process. Back in the ring, Beefcake gets a sleeper, but Pedro fights to the corner and makes the tag to Tito, with the ref missing it. So the Dream Team tosses Pedro and the crowd is MOLTEN for this, dying for Tito to get that tag. Pedro fights his way into the ring while the heels take shots at him on the way in, and Beefcake goes to the spinning toehold to work the leg. Pedro goes for the tag again, but Valentine charges in and nails Tito off the apron to block. So Valentine goes for the figure-four, but Pedro fights him off one more time and it’s HOT TAG TITO and MSG is exploding. Flying forearm and it’s PANDEMONIUM BREAKING LOOSE as the champs collide, and Johnny V runs in to distract the ref and finally the ref calls for the bell at 15:25 and throws it all out, awarding the match to Tito & Pedro by DQ. Well this one turned the show around in a hurry! ***1/2

Ricky Steamboat v. The Magnificent Muraco

Jesse: “Would you buy a car from Mr. Fuji?” Gorilla: “I wouldn’t even ride in a car with Mr. Fuji.” That’s some true wisdom. Muraco of course tried to hang Steamboat with his belt, so Ricky has promised to unleash hell on him. They criss-cross and Dragon hits an enzuigiri on the way by and sends Muraco to the floor and then back into the ring. Muraco drops a knee on him, but Ricky fights back and gets a Perfect necksnap before ringing his bell. Ricky with the neck vice and he puts Muraco out of the ring with some KARATE. Back in the ring, Muraco tries a corner whip, but Ricky reverses and hits him with armdrags to take him down, before going to an STF of sorts. Muraco powers up, so Ricky plays Got Your Nose and then goes to a facelock as this has been surprisingly lethargic for a blood feud such as this one. Muraco escapes with an atomic drop and puts Ricky down with a clothesline before running him all the way into the post to bust him open. Now we’re talking. Muraco jams his fingers into the open wound and tosses Ricky before slingshotting him into the post again. Steamboat is bleeding buckets and you don’t have to ask him twice to dramatically sell his injuries like he’s dying. Muraco slingshots him back into the ring and goes up with the ASIATIC SPIKE before tearing the wound some more. But Steamboat throws chops to fight back with some incredible babyface timing and fire, but Muraco whips him into the corner and clotheslines him to cut him off. Muraco uses his own martial arts to put Steamer down and then tosses him, but Steamboat fights off Fuji and steals his cane. Back in the ring, the ref is bumped and Muraco gets the cane, but Ricky fights him off and gets it, laying a beating on Muraco until the ref calls for the DQ at 16:30. So Muraco is now busted open and Dragon grinds the cane in his eye like he’s Magnum TA or something, busting Muraco open as well. Holy cow, Starrcade was only three days after this show, I wonder if they stole that finish from here? Anyway they continue fighting on the floor and it’s just madness, as the crowd goes crazy and Muraco is selling like nuts. Muraco wants some more, so Dragon hauls him into the ring and beats the shit out of him, with Muraco finally retreating and calling it a night after an incredible brawl. ***3/4

Terry Funk v. Mr. Wrestling II

Where did THIS come from? So apparently Wrestling II was in the WWF for all of 1985 but never actually worked on TV as far as I can tell. Funk runs the ropes but II stops running, so Terry just keeps running until Jimmy tells him to stop. They both try a corner whip and II wins that battle, as Funk gets flustered and retreats to the apron. Back in the ring, Terry misses some elbows and Wrestling II hits the kneelift as Funk is being incredibly generous to someone who is WAY beneath him by this point and basically just an enhancement guy. Funk bails and threatens to walk out, but Jimmy convinces him to come back in the ring and Terry finally takes over with some shots in the corner. But then he tries a piledriver and II backdrops him over the top and Funk freaks out about that. II hits him with a kneelift on the apron as Funk hangs onto the ropes, selling it with a clown bump, and II brings him back in with a cradle for two. They fight to the floor again and Funk rams him into the railing to finally take over. Funk goes after some Japanese cameraman and they head back into the ring where Funk puts him in a sleeper and chokes him out with his elbowpad. Wrestling II escapes with the kneelift and gets two from that, but he goes after Jimmy Hart and gets hit by Funk from behind as a result. Funk suplexes him back in and II falls on top for two. Suplex gets two. But then he charges and runs into Funk’s knee and Terry gets the pin at 14:22. Look I love Funk but he should have DESTROYED Wrestling II at this point in their runs and not sold for him for 10 minutes before winning on a fluke. *1/2

King Kong Bundy, Big John Studd & Bobby Heenan v. Andre the Giant, Hillbilly Jim & Captain Lou Albano

This is a rematch from last month after a double DQ, which in turn stemmed from the COLOSSAL JOSTLE. Andre beats on Studd in the corner and chokes him out to start, and Jim comes in to try for a slam, but John grabs the ropes to block. Over to Bundy and he elbows Jim down, but misses an elbow. Jim slugs back and it’s over to Andre again, as the Giant chokes Bundy out with his own straps. But then Bundy manages to get a facelock after some shenanigans, so Andre lets Hillbilly have a try again. Jim slugs away on Studd. But then Jim gets trapped in the heel corner and they work him over. But then Bobby tags in and Jim immediately tags out to Andre, so Bobby wisely runs away. But Andre makes him come back in again, and it’s over to Albano, who offers Bobby a free shot. Bobby sadly doesn’t make it an effective one, and Lou whips him into the corner to send him bumping to the floor. So we’re back to Studd as Andre demands Bobby get back in the ring, so Bobby pops in and immediately tags out to Bundy. But the ref makes up some nonsense about Bobby having to make contact with the Giant before tagging out, and Gorilla rightly calls that out as complete bullshit. So Bobby does touch Andre and then tags out to Studd. Andre stacks al the heels up in the corner and rams into them, and then Albano whips Heenan into Andre’s boot and Andre pins him at 12:12. This ref was a loose cannon playing by his own rules and I hope Jack Tunney fires him. This one was on the low end of Andre matches to say the least. *

NEXT MONTH; We close out the year of 1985 with Hulk Hogan defending against Randy Savage in a match I’ve seen a million times!

This one featured one historic title change, a pair of great matches, and a bizarrely fascinating Jesse Ventura match, so that’s worth a thumbs up in my book.