The SmarK Rant for WWF in MSG – 11.24.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF in MSG – 11.24.86

Originally written 04.17.26

We’re around this point in the Superstars reviews so I might as well keep picking away at the MSG reviews for fun. No idea when this will actually be posted since it’s before WM weekend as this is being written but it’ll be a fun surprise for everyone when it hits!

Taped from Madison Square Garden, drawing a sellout of 19700 for reasons that will become readily apparent when you see what the main event is. Probably should have been a PPV main event if that was an option at the time, to be honest.

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Lord Alfred Hayes

Cowboy Bob Orton v. Billy Jack Haynes

Starting out with a pretty big opener. Although Bob doesn’t have his new trademark pink cowboy hat here, he DOES have a ring jacket that says “HOT BOB” on the back, which is close enough in my books. This was the relatively brief period when Orton had Jimmy Hart as a manager, shortly before transitioning to Mr. Fuji full time. Billy Jerk takes him down a couple of times to start, so Bob uses a Greco-Roman eye rake and slugs away in the corner until Haynes fights back. Boxing Bob loses that battle and bails to the floor, so Billy rams his head into Jimmy. Back in the ring, Orton wins a wristlock battle while Jimmy complains to Gorilla at ringside. Orton misses a charge and hits the post, and Billy goes to work on the arm while Bob tries to run away and can’t escape. So Bob wants to show his pugilism skills and instructs the referee to stay away and let him do some boxing, but Billy immediately violates the spirit of the challenge and drops an elbow on him for two. THEY HAD A DEAL. Haynes with the test of strength and he starts beating on the arm until Bob slams out of it. But then Billy slams him in return and goes back to the arm with a top wristlock. Atomic drop puts Orton on the floor, so Bob has had enough and chokes Haynes out with Jimmy’s tie to take over. Bob drops an elbow on him while Gorilla buries the referee as usual, and then drops him on the top rope for two. Looked like Bob wanted a shoulderbreaker and Billy couldn’t figure out the bump. And indeed, they repeat the spot and this time Orton hits it properly for two. Bob sets up the superplex, but Haynes slugs out of it and Bob gets crotched on the top rope. And then he follows with an atomic drop to poor Bob. Well now he’ll likely never have any children to carry on his legacy in the business. Billy tries the full nelson, but only gets a partial nelson and Bob is able to bail to the floor to escape. And they slug it out on the floor until it’s a double countout at 13:24. The lame finish isn’t a shock, but this was a really good opener with two pros. ***1/4

Hercules v. Pedro Morales

We’re now at the point when Bobby Heenan bought the contract of Hercules from Slick, which was canonically for a lot of cash. Bobby of course recouped it later by selling Hercules into slavery, which is why he’s the Brain. Herc also debuts his new look here, with short hair and beard, prepping him for a future push. Herc spend too long posing and Pedro sends him to the floor. Back in, Pedro wins a slugfest and Herc retreats to the floor for some advice from Bobby. Back in, Hercules catches Pedro with a clothesline to take over and drops a knee on him before putting the boots to him. Herc slugs away on the ropes and chokes him out. Suplex gets two. Herc misses an elbow and Pedro makes the comeback with a backbreaker for two. Bobby makes the save and Pedro chases him as a result, and Herc rolls up Pedro for the pin at 9:14. This was fine. **

George Steele v. Kamala

This one has NUCLEAR heat. George gets distracted and Kamala chops him to the floor right away. Back in, Kamala wants a test of strength and George stomps on his feet and bites him in the corner to gain the strategic advantage. But then he goes after the Wizard, and Kamala hits George with the horn gimmick and finishes with the big splash and then top rope big splash at 3:07 and Steele may be legally dead. Short and effective squash for Kamala on the way up to Hogan.

Gorilla reminds us that any reproduction or dissemination of this show without the express written consent of MSG Network is prohibited, so I guess Richard Land is FUCKED now.

Leaping Lanny Poffo v. Steve Lombardi

Poffo offers congratulations for the Mets winning the World Series in 1986? WHAT? That can’t be real. What a bunch of bullshit. They didn’t even have Bo Bichette back then! Steve works the arm to start but Lanny reverses him into a cradle for two. Poffo with a dropkick and headscissors to put Lombardi on the floor while we get an update on the health of George Steele: He’s alive but it’s touch and go, and he’s being taken to a local hospital. Given the healthcare record of the WWF at that point, I picture them putting him in the back of a taxi and then dumping him in the intake section of the ER parking lot. Lombardi gets a back elbow for two and he goes to the chinlock, but Poffo bridges out of it and Lombardi goes to a facelock. Meanwhile we get some weird inside baseball jokes from Gorilla and Alfred about Lombardi’s “trainer” Louie Dundero, who should “stick to growing things in a greenhouse” according to Gorilla. Lombardi with a small package for two and he slugs Poffo down in the corner as this one is really killing off what’s been a super hot crowd. Steve with a back elbow out of the corner for two and it’s back to the chinlock off that. Poffo makes the comeback and fires away in the corner, but Lombardi goes to the top rope. So Poffo slams him off and goes up with a swanton to finish at 9:47. Kind of a dull match for Poffo. **

Magnificent Muraco v. Hillbilly Jim

OK this has been a show with some INTERESTING matchups, you have to give it that. Muraco is doing the gimmick where he’s using Piper’s music and wearing a kilt to the ring as they try to transition Adonis’s heat to Muraco. It didn’t work. We get a very lengthy stall to start and Jim finally attacks while Muraco is trying to get his kilt free, and then Jim disrespectfully wears the kilt as a headdress. Hasn’t he seen Braveheart? You don’t mess with the Scottish people that way! Jim tosses Muraco into the corner and then goes to a headlock and dramatically grinds on that, which gets two after an equally dramatic facefirst bump from Muraco. Headbutt puts him on the floor with another silly bump as Muraco clearly loves the night off and taking goofy bumps for Jim. Don uses the ASIATIC SPIKE to work the neck and sends Jim to the apron for some choking, but he misses a blind charge and Jim gets the big boot. Jim with the bearhug, which Gorilla calls the full nelson, but Fuji runs in for the DQ at 7:08. Nothing to the match but Muraco was obviously playing for the cheap seats here and it was really fun to watch. *1/2. Afterwards, Fuji attacks with the cane and tears up Jim’s overalls, which sets up the next month’s show.

And after the intermission, it’s time for the big one…

Hulk Hogan & Rowdy Roddy Piper v. Paul Orndorff & Harley Race

As noted, this probably could have headlined a PPV at that point. The crowd of course goes BATSHIT for this, as the babyfaces clear the ring and double-team Race to start. Nice touch as Piper shows reluctance to trust Hogan given Hulk’s problematic and questionable behavior towards him over the years. I still wouldn’t trust him not to screw Piper over after the way he treated Orndorff, let me tell you. Piper continues on the arm, but Race pokes him in the eye, so Piper brings Hogan back in to continue instead. Piper and Hogan continue making quick tags and working the arm like slightly less drugged up versions of the Rockers, but Race fially suplexes Piper in the corner to take over. Wonderful with an elbow from the top and Piper has to bail to the floor to regroup. Back in, Orndorff hits him with a clothesline for two, and Race gets his own clothesline as Piper is in full babyface selling mode here. Race with a powerslam and Paul drops a knee and goes to the chinlock while Hulk dramatically calls for the hot tag and pretends to give a shit about Piper taking a beating. I see through you, Hogan. Race with a suplex to cut off the ring, but Piper fights them off alone because he can’t depend on his narcissist partner. Race cuts off the ring again and headbutts Piper, but he falls into the hot tag to Hulk. He doesn’t want to face Orndorff because he’s scared of losing the title to him, so he beats up Race instead and drops the leg for two. Hulk goes to assault Bobby Heenan for no reason, still avoiding the fight with Mr. Wonderful, but Piper clotheslines Race and gets the pin at 7:55 despite not being the legal man. What a miscarriage of justice. So Hulk beats up poor Bobby Heenan again, and Paul Orndorff is clearly ready to piledrive Hogan again and take his title, but he kindly saves his manager instead because he’s a humanitarian above all. **1/2

MIDGET MADNESS: Lord Littlebrook & Little Tokyo v. Pepe Gomez & The Karate Kid

For a minute I saw “Pepper Gomez” and had questions. Actually he looks more like Eddie Guerrero. Pepe takes Tokyo down a few times and it’s over to Littlebrook, who trips on the bottom rope on the way in. Maybe Shockmaster was just doing an homage! Karate Kid, who is pretty ripped, throws kicks and takes the Lord down with a cross armbreaker. Back to Tokyo and the babyfaces do the double rowboat spot to retain control. Karate Kid looks like he wants to do a real match instead of this stuff. We get the wacky spot where Littlebrook chokes out the babyfaces on the ropes, but accidentally chokes out his own partner because he’s not paying attention and Pepe gets two as a result. Finally Gomez gets trapped in the heel corner and worked over, but he slams Tokyo for two as we get the spot with the ref catching Gomez on the kickout and putting him back on top again. Tokyo with his own slam for two and he also lands in the arms of the ref, but this time the ref just slams him down. Gorilla: “They should disqualify the ref here and give the match to the midgets.” I feel like this so called athletic exhibition isn’t exactly on the up and up. No wonder people are upset about ESPN covering it these days. Kid with a full nelson on Littlebrook, although it’s more of a quarter nelson in this case, and Tokyo accidentally hits his own partner trying to free him. Littlebrook works the arm and goes to work on Karate Kid with a pair of backdrops. Pepe gets the hot tag and Littlebrook tries a bodypress off the top, but hits Tokyo and the babyfaces all dogpile on top for the pin at 13:35. They should have kept it short.

Hiilbilly Jim joins us, and challenges Mr. Fuji to a TUXEDO MATCH in the next MSG show after getting his overalls torn up during the Muraco match tonight.

Jimmy Jack Funk v. Koko B. Ware

Funk slams Koko while Albano joins us on commentary and gives a fantastical update on George Steele, noting that he hijacked the ambulance on the way to the hospital and broke out at Central Park, where he ran free into the night. Koko gets his own slam on Funk and chases him to the floor, and back in for a punch right in the mask on the way in. So at this point Alfred tells a story about doing commentary for a Jimmy Jack match in Philly a few nights before where Funk acted goofy and then won his match with three perfect wrestling moves. So in fact, they WERE just in Philly for a PRISM broadcast on November 8, with Alfred on commentary, but Jimmy Jack was NOT on the show so I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about. They continue the slow feeling out process with Koko throwing dropkicks and Funk stalling between each one, before Jimmy finally takes over with a stungun. Funk with a chinlock, but Koko fights out and goes up with the missile dropkick, and then finishes with the brainbuster at 8:07. Perfectly acceptable wrestling. **1/2

NEXT MONTH: THE TUXEDO MATCH! HULK HOGAN v. KAMALA! I bet that one was another sellout.

The Dream Team v. The Islanders

Another notable change as the Islanders are now “Haku” and “Tama”. Haku and Valentine fight for the lockup in the corner to start while Gorilla puts over a hot new team called “The Can-Am Connection”. Hammer gets nowhere with the Islanders, so it’s over to Beefcake to give it a try and he also gets double-teamed as Tama works the arm. Brutus with a pair of leapfrogs, but Tama hits him with a bodypress for two. Brutus retreats to the corner to think it over as this is feeling like a 20 minute draw already. Brutus pantomimes loading up his glove with something, but the Islanders double-team him again and Tama goes to work on the arm again. Back to the Hammer, who chops Tama down and hits him with a shoulderbreaker that turns into a tombstone, for two. To the floor as Hammer dumps him into a chair at ringside. Back in the ring, Tama with a crossbody for two, but Hammer beats him down again and puts him down with a back elbow. Beefcake comes in with an atomic drop for two and Valentine tries the figure-four, but Tama reverses for two. Gorilla actually brings up the Chief Jay Strongbow angle where Hammer broke his leg and ended his career, which is interesting because they didn’t generally knowledgedge pre-Hogan stuff on these shows. Haku gets a hot tag and beats on Beefcake with chops, and Tama comes in with a high cross. It’s PANDEMONIUM BREAKING LOOSE, but Valentine drops Tama on the top rope crotch-first and Brutus pins him at 13:24. Huh, thought they were doing a draw here to wrap up the show. This was good, but nothing must-see. **3/4

I’d call this a very fun show from a nostalgia standpoint, but nothing that was filled with bangers or anything. But worth a look nonetheless, especially for the star power of the main event.