The SmarK Rant for WWF in MSG – 06.25.88

The SmarK Rant for WWF in MSG – 06.25.88

Originally written 06.08.26

I figure the story behind this one is worth giving it a look. Plus, fun fact, this is my first ever 1988 MSG review.

Taped from MSG, drawing 18000

Your hosts are Rodger Kent, Lord Alfred Hayes and Superstar Billy Graham. I know y’all hate Kent but I’m an old school AWA guy so I find him very comforting.

Big Bossman v. Scott Casey

The announcers are all like BIG BOSSMAN IS SO FAT over and over while Casey hangs out on the floor and stalls for time while complaining about Bossman’s attire. He probably just got there after work! Bossman works the arm to start while Kent educates us on Japan: They’re very much into wrestling over there. Good to know. Casey grabs a wristlock of his own and goes to work on it, but Bossman catches him in a bearhug while Superstar questions the levels of sweat coming from the Bossman. Yeah I think his matches with IRS might have been the sweatiest in recorded history, come to think of it. Bossman takes him down for two while Hayes informs us that the sholder strap on Bossman’s gear is called a Sam Brown in England, in case you needed a topic for small talk next time you’re at a party. Bossman beats on him with headbutts on the ropes and follows with a backbreaker before going to a surfboard. Casey escapes that and tries a sleeper, but Bossman rams him into the corner to break free and then misses a blind charge and crotches himself. Casey comes back with axehandles and manages a bodypress for two. But then Bossman catches him with the Bossman slam to finish at 7:49. Decent opener. *1/2

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers v. The Conquistadors

The Rougeaus were in the process of turning heel and waving tiny little American flags, but weren’t into the full deal yet. Ray gets a slam on Uno to start and it’s over to Jacques while Graham wants to know what’s the deal with masks and Mexico? The Rougeaus take turns working on the leg of Dos in their corner, but Jacques gets dumped over the top and the Conquistadors work him over in the corner. Double elbow on Jacques gets two as the dynamic is really weird here, with the Rougeaus clearly heels but trying to play babyface still and as a result the crowd doesn’t care about either one. Jacques comes back with a sunset flip on Uno for two, but Dos saves and they take over again with a nerve hold. They keep holding him down with the nerve pinch by switching off behind the ref’s back and we get a false tag spot as the crowd is actually cheering for the Rougeaus now. Hot tag Raymond and he cleans house and runs Uno into the corner before Jacques adds a back elbow for two. Jacques with the abdominal stretch and superkick combo for two. It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA and the masked men collide, setting up the Rougeau Bomb at 11:39 to finish. Rougeaus were so entertaining that they got themselves over as babyfaces even when being obnoxious heels. **1/2

George Steele v. Greg Valentine

This is no-DQ for some reason. Hammer pulls him out of the ring and runs him into the chairs at ringside after some stalling to start, but Steele tackles him on the way in. So Hammer takes him to the floor again and hits him with a chair, but George chucks it into the ring and nearly nails Greg in the head with it. So we get more stalling as George demands the removal of the Heartbreaker guard, so Greg kicks the stuffed doll and Geroge rams him into the turnbuckles in retaliation. Next up, George goes old school and loads up a wrapped object for some shots with that, but Hammer runs him into the corner to stop that. Valentine goes up with a double axehandle to the back and tries the figure-four, but Steele sends him into the corner to escape. So Greg abuses the stuffed doll again, but that enrages Animal and he goes to rescue it and gets tripped up on the floor as a result. Back in the ring and the ref calls it a countout win for Steele at 6:37. This was a giant clash of styles and didn’t work at all. DUD

Dangerous Danny Davis v. Don Muraco

Muraco chases Danny out of the ring to start as the Davis character was well past his best before date by now and this should probably be a quick one. Danny tries a wristlock and Muraco just laughs at him and shoves him off, which sends Davis back to the floor. So Don rolls around the ring offering up his back for a wrestling match and then coaxes him back into the ring and continues bullying him. Graham is hyping the alleged strength feats of Muraco like he’s Don King and Davis continues trying to run away. Back in the ring, Don completely no-sells Danny’s punches, so Danny goes to the eyes and chokes Muraco on the ropes instead. Davis with some shots in the corner that go nowhere, and Muraco chases him to the floor again before yanking him back to the apron. So Davis goes up and tries a bodypress, but Muraco catches him and tombstones him, at which point Greg Valentine runs in for the DQ at 7:12. ¼*. Afterwards, Valentine tries to take out Muraco’s leg, but can’t get the figure-four on him, so he leaves the ring and hits Graham in the knee on the way by instead.

The One Man Gang v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Main event in any UWF arena in the country two years before! Kent relates Duggan’s thumbs up gimmick to ancient Roman gladiators, although I don’t think one of them ever put a lion in a chinlock and whispered “You’re gonna bite my head off in the next spot”. We get a couple of minutes of stalling and Duggan puts him down with a clothesline, sending Gang to the floor to stall for more time. Is Larry Zbyszko agenting this show or something? Back in the ring, they exchange shoulderblocks and Duggan slugs away on him and puts the boots to him in the corner to take over. But then Gang beats him down with the hamhocks and Duggan returns fire. Gang takes him down and works the arm and uses some clubbing forearms on the ropes and chokes him out. Gang keeps working that arm as it’s a real slobberknocker. Well there’s some slobber but not much knocking. Gang misses an elbow and Duggan makes the comeback with punches and runs him into the turnbuckles to set up the three point stance to finish at 10:15. Well it had a clean finish at least. *

Andre the Giant v. Bam Bam Bigelow

OK so here’s the reason for my viewing of this show. This is Bigelow’s last WWF match of this run and apparently he ran afoul of Andre in the dressing room on the way out after bragging about his payoffs. Probably not a great idea. Andre sends Bobby back to the dressing room and immediately tackles Bam Bam and chokes him out on the ropes before going to a sleeper. He hits Bigelow with punches and Bam Bam goes flying back into the ropes, and Andre chokes him out again and completely no-sells Bigelow’s offense before taking him down and sitting on him repeatedly. Andre chops him down, but Bigelow manages to clothesline Andre into the ropes to get some offense. Andre breaks free and goes to a bearhug, and Bam Bam tries to headbutt out of it and just knocks himself silly in the process. So Andre just holds it and holds it and holds it and then finally releases it and just hits Bigelow with kicks to the ribs. Bigelow charges and Andre just boots him down and pins him at 9:06. Goddamn, Andre absolutely squashed the shit out of Bigelow here and gave him nothing. And then Andre chokes him out further after the match, until finally Jim Duggan makes the save. So I’ve heard stories about Andre beating up Bam Bam at this show due to a beef in the locker room, but it’s not clear if the beating was during the match or in the locker room. I wouldn’t say the match was anything resembling a “shoot” or whatever, although Andre, as noted, gave him zero offense. DUD. Well don’t make Andre mad I guess. Not sure how Bigelow didn’t learn that lesson sooner.

Weasel Suit match: Bobby Heenan v. Ultimate Warrior

Heenan runs away to start, which you’d expect in this case but it’s been the same thing in EVERY MATCH so far. So much heel stalling on this show. Warrior tricks Bobby by hiding in the corner outside and chokes him out, and then we head back into the ring as Bobby gets a shot with a foreign object to take over. I have much more respect for Jerry Lawler and his ability to get a phantom object over, tricking the fans into thinking there’s some deadly weapon there when in fact there’s nothing. After a couple of more shots with the popsicle stick, Warrior grabs Bobby’s arm and just beats him down, before running him into the corner a few times and then putting him away with a sleeper at 5:20. Same match we saw a bunch of other times. DUD. And of course Warrior stuffs him into the suit and hilarity ensues.

Bad News Brown v. Jim Neidhart

Bad News faces the other half of the Hart Foundation in a rare match, as Anvil hits the ring hot and attacks, chasing Brown to the floor for, say it with me, STALLING. Anvil hauls him back in and chokes him out on the ropes while Superstar’s drug-addled brain struggles to remember “ZZ Top” while making a reference to them. Neidhart backdrops him and chokes him down before going to a chinlock and that goes on for a while. Graham notes that this move is a perfect opportunity to talk some shit to your opponent and ask him if he likes the pain he’s experiencing. Hayes: “But if your opponent can talk you don’t have the hold on very well, surely.” Graham: “Yeah but he MUMBLES.” I’m losing IQ points just listening to this. Brown puts Anvil down with a forearm shot to take over and then chokes him out on the ropes and beats on him with a headbutt to the gut in the corner. To the floor and Brown gives him a shot with a chair and adds a bodyslam and legdrop in the ring for two. Anvil fights up and Bad News hits him with a lariat out of the corner to put him down again. Anvil gets all puffed up and tries a comeback, but Brown headbutts him down again and goes to a rear chinlock. But then Neidhart fights back with a bearhug to really ramp up the excitement, so Brown rakes his eyes to break. And then Anvil goes back to it, as someone backstage seriously sat down and said “You know who we should give 15:00 for a match? JIM THE ANVIL NEIDHART” and no one slapped him. Brown slams out of it but goes up and misses a fistdrop, allowing Anvil to come back with dropkicks to put Brown on the floor. They fight out there and Neidhart rams him into the stairs, but Brown runs him into the post and they both beat the count. But then Brown unleashes the GHETTO BLASTER and Neidhart goes flying to the floor again and gets counted out at 16:27 to win the award for shittiest finish to end the shittiest match on this shitty ass show. -*

WWF World title, cage match: Randy Savage v. Ted Dibiase

Dibiase attacks Savage on the way in and hammers away in the corner, but Savage comes back with elbows. Dibiase fires back with his own elbow and drops the fist. Savage rams him into the turnbuckles and drops the knee, but puts his head down and gets caught. Dibiase with a backbreaker and he makes the first escape attempt, but Savage yanks him down and slams him off the top. Dibiase comes back and slugs away in the corner, then puts him down with a clothesline and hits another fistdrop. Dibiase climbs again, but Savage hauls him down and hangs him upside-down before stomping him down. He tries to climb out, but Virgil climbs the cage and stops him, allowing Dibiase to slug away again. They send each other into the cage and Savage climbs again, but so does Virgil and down goes Macho again. He climbs again as Graham notes that the next time Virgil reaches through the bars, Macho should break his arm. Uh, that’s a bit of an overreaction. Roid rage, much? They clothesline each other and Savage goes for the door, but Virgil prevents the escape again. Graham continues his run by noting that Elizabeth should take up powerlifting because “she’ll still be beautiful 80 pounds heavier”. What is he ON here? Oh yeah, lots and lots of drugs, right. Both guys collide and then both climb up opposite corners, but Virgil again slows up Savage, allowing Dibiase to bring him down and stomp away. Savage makes the comeback with a suplex and then sends Dibiase into the cage with an atomic drop, which is a nice bump from Ted. Savage goes for the door again and Virgil slams it in his face this time. Dibiase crawls for it, but Savage gets him by the tights and they slug it out from their knees. Dibiase goes into the cage again for another of his great bumps, and Savage climbs for it, only to meet Virgil again. And now the crowd is so riled up that some dumbass kid climbs the cage to help Savage, and he rams the heels together and jumps out to win at 12:25, probably to prevent things from getting any more heated. Great bumping and drama here, not enough to save this god-awful show but certainly a match that was worth watching. Luckily it’s widely available on multiple other releases and you don’t need to watch the rest of this show. ****

The main event was GREAT but it’s literally the only thing worth watching here unless you want to see Andre manhandling Bam Bam Bigelow on the way out of the promotion. I kinda did but I’m built different.