The SmarK Rant for WWF in MSG – 03.23.92

The SmarK Rant for WWF in MSG – 03.23.92

Originally written 04.13.26

Yup, we finally have this one available in the ol’ Fish & Chips folder, as this is the series finale for WWF’s MSG shows and we don’t get another one for 5 years. Ths show isn’t exactly lost media because all the matches were later aired on Prime Time and Coliseum Video, but for whatever reason the whole thing wasn’t available anywhere. I think due to technical problems because the commentary is very low.

Taped from Madison Square Garden, drawing about 9000.

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan

Tatanka v. Col. Mustafa

I had no idea that Sheiky Baby was still around by this point in 1992. Apparently he was around until May! We get a big stall to start as Sheik was pretty immobile by this point anyway. I’m saddened by Sheik’s death today because whoever was in charge of his social media would probably have won the internet based on the current “excursion” by the US. Tatanka gets a pair of dropkicks and goes to work on the leg, and keeping Sheik on the mat by this point is probably the best case scenario. Tatanka wraps the leg around the post while Gorilla mansplains Native American traditions to everyone, but Sheik uses his pointy toe to take over and gives us some poses. To the chinlock as we get some quality laying around the ring action, but Tatanka fights out of that before walking into some kind of chop to the throat that puts him down again. That gets two after some spitting and posing. Sheik actually gets a gut wrench suplex, barely able to get Tatanka up for it, and that gets two. Tatanka gets his own suplex, and kudos to Sheik for actually taking a bump I guess, but then he immediately stops selling and beats on Tatanka with forearms. So Tatanka makes the comeback with chops and a backbreaker and goes up with the flying chop, as Sheik barely even flinches. And the samoan drop finishes at 8:41. Pin me, pay me. Terrible opener but Tatanka was very over. DUD

Tito Santana v. IRS

I wonder if IRS ever investigated El Matador’s income from bullfighting? Feels like it would have been worth a look. Tito works the arm and IRS gets to the ropes, so Tito goes with the headlock. Bobby is looking for comp tickets for Wrestlemania, meanwhile, which is a routine that he and Gorilla had done a few times previously. Irwin bails and stalls and claims various rule infractions to buy time. Back in the ring, Tito with another headlock and IRS tries to escape to the apron, so Tito pulls him back in and drops him on his face. Back to the floor for more stalling while Gorilla gives us some inside baseball references to a guy named Vic Glover who must have worked backstage. Back in the ring, Tito with an atomic drop and IRS runs away again, so Tito runs him into the stairs and hauls him back into the ring. Irwin takes over and tosses Tito for his own shot to the stairs as we’re 9 minutes into this thing and we’ve had maybe a minute of actual wrestling between all the walking around and general stalling. Tito with a sunset flip back in for two, but Irwin drops a leg on him for two. IRS with a pair of elbowdrops that get two and of course it’s time for the abdominal stretch with the ropes. The ref catches him and breaks it up, and Tito gets a rollup for two off that before IRS goes to the sleeper. So we get more laying around before Tito fights out of that, and misses a blind charge in the corner to allow Irwin to go back to chinlocking. As usual Tito has great babyface sympathy but this match is running longer than an AEW PPV. Irwin drops him on the top rope for two and we go to chinlock #3. Irwin decides to go to the top rope and lands on the dreaded upraised foot. Tito fights back and makes the comeback, but he misses a splash and hits knees. IRS with the lariat, but the time limit expires at 20:35 and it’s a draw. Well there’s 20 minutes of my life I’ll never get back again. *1/2

Rick Martel v. JW Storm

I have no recollection of Jeff Warner being in the WWF and obviously he didn’t stick around. In fact, this was his one and only TV appearance of any sort and he was gone one week later. Martel works a facelock to start, but Storm puts him on the top rope to escape. Storm has a jacked body at this point, but his legs are ridiculously skinny and I can see how he wouldn’t have the look Vince was after. Plus, in an admittedly minor point, he was terrible in the ring, like all time bad. Martel with a cheapshot in the corner and he tries a rollup, but Storm blocks it and comes back with a slam to send Martel bailing to the floor. Back in, Storm goes after the arm, but Martel tosses him and hits him with a clothesline out there. Back in, Martel with a rear chinlock and he follows with a backbreaker, but he goes up and Storm hits him on the way down and comes back with generic power guy offense. But then he misses a charge and Martel rolls him up with a handful of tights for the pin at 9:33. Storm was terrible. *

The Nasty Boys & The Mountie v. The Bushwhackers & Bret Hart

This should at the very least be very wacky. Bret is of course a good sport and plays along with the Whackers and their nonsense, and he invites the Mountie to start by calling him a chicken. And that actually works, so Bret beats on him and blocks a monkey flip by dropping an elbow on him. Butch comes in and Knobs quickly cuts him off and beats on him with forearms in the corner, but Knobs misses a charge and the babyfaces do some biting and clear the ring. The heels decide to call it a night, but the ref threatens them with a $5000 fine and THE MATCH MUST CONTINUE. Back in the ring, Butch immediately gets tripped up and the bad guys take over. Mountie with a back elbow for two and the Nasties work him over as Knobs gets an elbow for two. To the chinlock and Butch fights out of that and makes the hot tag to Bushwhacker Bret and he runs wild, as we get a triple collision from the heels and Bret rolls up Mountie for the pin at 12:50. This was a definite night off for the Hitman, just a simple formula tag for the kids. *

The Warlord v. Jim Brunzell

This is Warlord’s final televised appearance and final MSG appearance, as the makeup is gone and he’s letting his hair grow in again. I guess they had run out of Davey Boy Smith matches for him. He powers Jumpin’ Jim into the corner and beats him down with the clubbing forearms. Warlord chokes him out on the ropes and tosses him. Back in for a bearhug and a slam, but Warlord goes up to the middle rope and misses a fistdrop. Brunzell fights back but Warlord shrugs him off and whips him into the corner to take over again. Brunzell goes for the leg and works on that, but Warlord powerslams and pins him at 10:25. What the fuck is point of putting Warlord over here? He was literally leaving the promotion and never returned. Have him put over Tatanka or something on the way out. ½*

Shawn Michaels v. Virgil

Virgil was wearing the face mask at this point and not really going anywhere otherwise. We get a chase around the ring and Shawn misses a blind charge, allowing Virgil to take him down with a headlock. Virgil hits him with clotheslines, but Shawn sends him to the floor like someone accidentally knocking their basket of Olive Garden breadsticks off the table while in a rush to get their third refill of soup. Back in the ring, Shawn pulls up the facemask and punches him in the nose before booting him in the face for two. Shawn with a chinlock on the mat and he blocks a blind charge from Virgil and gets two. Another punch to the nose sends Virgil to the apron and Shawn steps on it for good measure. Virgil with a backslide for two, but Shawn clotheslines him down again for two. Shawn pulls off the mask and runs him into the turnbuckle, but Virgil makes the comeback as Shawn bounces around the ring a little bit. Virgil with a dropkick and legsweep for two. Charge misses, however, and Shawn puts him away with the teardrop suplex at 12:00. Shawn had it in first gear here, which makes sense a week away from Wrestlemania. It was OK by the end. *1/2

BREAKING NEWS: Shawn Michaels has left the building!

Hulk Hogan & Rowdy Roddy Piper v. Ric Flair & Sid Justice

Well this is quite the main event to go out on. For those keeping track, this is the final MSG appearance for Hulk until his comeback a decade later, plus the final MSG appearance for Piper until many years later, and the final MSG appearance for Sid until 1995. But I mean, Sid certainly had a very memorable MSG appearance in 1996. The crowd heat for this one is off the charts, of course. Flair and Piper fight for the lockup to start and Piper chases him to the floor as Flair gets some advise from Dr. Harvey. Even Gorilla is like “What advice could that dork even offer to Ric Flair?”. Back in the ring, Flair hits Piper with chops in the corner, but Roddy slugs back and beats on him in the corner before adding the eyepoke and going back to slugging away on him. Backdrop and kneelift send Flair flying, and he accidentally runs into Hogan’s punch in the corner as a result. Piper with a backslide for two and he whips Flair into the corner for a Flair Flip, which results in Ric running into Hogan’s boot on the apron and taking a bump to the floor. Back in the ring, it’s over to Hulk, so Ric tags out to Sid. Sid beats Hulk down to take over and gives him a very gentle slam, basically placing him on the mat before choking him out in the corner. Hulk comes back with the corner clothesline, but Sid clubs him down with more forearms. Over to Piper, as Hulk slams Sid as a setup for him and Piper slugs away for two. Sid takes him down with a headlock and then adds a clothesline and Piper is face in peril. So the heels choke him out in the corner as this low effort show continues meandering towards an end, and Flair tosses Piper for a gentle swing of a chair by Sid. Look, 75% of the participants were out the door, I don’t blame them for phoning this one in. Back in the ring, Piper comes back with a clothesline on Flair, but Sid beats him down and puts the boots to him. Sid with a neckbreaker and he goes up, but Piper nails him on the way down, so Flair comes in and cuts off the tag again. Flair to the top, but Piper slams him off and makes the hot tag to Hogan. Big boot and legdrop for Flair, but the ref is distracted and Sid hits Hulk with the loaded medical bag and puts Flair on top for two. You have never seen a more unconcerned run-in in your life than Sid casually strolling in with that bag. Hulk makes the comeback and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA, but Hulk pins Flair at 18:00 by clotheslining him. Yeah the WWF champion eats the pin a week before WRESTLEMANIA in a match with the other three people leaving the company. **

And that’s it for WWF’s run of shows on the MSG Network! What a stinkeroo to go out on, though.