The SmarK Rant for WWF in MSG – 02.23.92

The SmarK Rant for WWF MSG – 02.23.92

Well I couldn’t do that January show and then not follow up with this one. I think there’s only one left after this, with the infamous Herc match, and I’m assuming Richard Land is reading this and will magically make it appear for me.

Also we all know why we’re here, right? OH YEAH THIS SHOW.

Taped from New York, drawing a respectable 14,000 after the anemic attendance in January.

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan & Lord Alfred Hayes

The Berzerker v. Jumpin’ Jim Brunzell

Poor Jim has been stripped of his bee gear and it’s down to plain blue trunks. He gets an atomic drop on Berzerker but immediately misses a charge and gets beat up in the corner. Dropkick puts him on the floor and Berzerker pulls up the mats and slams him on the concrete, to the HORROR of the women at ringside. That’s a pretty impressive amount of heat for such a goofy spot. Back in the ring, we get some clubbing forearms and Brunzell retreats to the floor again and pulls him out by the furry boot for a shot to the post. Back in the ring, Berzerker boots him back to the floor and runs him into the stairs as this has been shockingly energetic and fun for an opening match squash. Back in the ring, Berzerker works a facelock and Jim fights out of that, so we get to a chinlock instead and then Berzerker puts him down with a knee RIGHT TO THE BREAD BASKET. I feel like we need a plot on The Pitt where someone comes in with abdominal pain and Dr. Robby is like “We can’t do anything, he took a shot to the bread basket and fell on his external occipital protuberance” and then Santos tries to save him anyway because she’s the WORST and then the guy pukes on poor Whittaker and gets better. Brunzell makes a comeback and Berzerker does the splits and Jim hits him with a high knee and the dropkick, which is still awesome in 1992, but it only gets two. Crossbody is caught and Berzerker powerslams him for the pin at 8:47. This was a good match! Brunzell kind of rules and Nord was actually up for it. ***

The Bushwhackers v. The Nasty Boys

There must be a ton of kids in the audience because they are JACKED for the Whackers despite them being way on the downswing of their run. We get the big stall to start and the Whackers bite the Nasties on the ass and run them together to chase them out of the ring. This crowd is very very loud for the Bushwhackers and given the Nasties had nothing going on at this point anyway, the faces should probably go over to make the kids happy. More wackiness as Butch parades around with a sign proclaiming that they should be President & VP, which would only make them the second biggest clowns to ever hold the office. At least New Zealand would be safe from tariffs. Knobs slugs Butch down in the corner to actually start the match, but the Whackers double-team Sags and go to work on the arm. Knobs trips up Luke to take over and cut off the ring with the usual stuff while the kids shriek in terror every time Luke is choked out. Luke with a sunset flip for two as they’re actually trying to work a normal match here with a heat segment and hope spots and everything. I’m kind of impressed. Sags cuts off the ring again and we get a false tag spot as the kids are HORRIFIED and it’s kind of heartwarming that they’re doing all this hokey old tag team stuff and it’s all brand new to this audience. So they milk it AGAIN and cut off another tag attempt as Knobs knocks Butch off the apron and puts Luke down with a back elbow. But then he goes up and misses a splash, and it’s HOT TAG Butch as the crowd goes crazy. He runs wild and we get a pair of double clotheslines, complete with Butch stealing Bobby’s drink and throwing it in Knobs’ face, but Sags grabs the ringbell, knocks out Butch, and puts Knobs on top for the pin at 12:40. I can’t hate on this, they were all trying really hard and the Nasties knew exactly what to do for this type of crowd, and they were bonzo for all of it. **1/2

Chris Walker v. The Warlord

Now THIS I can hate on. Walker is unable to overpower the Warlord, despite looking like Ultimate Warrior and Kerry Von Erich got together and made a baby out of steroids and hairspray, but Warlord misses an elbow and Chris uses the clubbing forearms on him. Walker with clotheslines and a dropkick to finally put Warlord down and out to the floor. Back in, Walker tries a rollup and Warlord dumps him out to the floor as the announcers are unimpressed with young Conan and basically bust on him for being stupid. Wow shocking that he didn’t get over as a top star. Walker with a sunset flip and Warlord stuffs that and Gorilla continues burying the big dummy. Warlord chokes him out and the announcers are like “Man this kid sucks” and Warlord goes to the chinlock. That goes on for longer than the Geneva Convention should probably allow, but Walker comes back with axehandles off the middle rope over and over and a flying bodypress for two. Well that was one nice move at least. But then he tries a rana and Warlord powerbombs him for the pin at 11:20. Walker was DONE and might as well have packed it in and gone back to Global. DUD

Hercules v. Sid Justice

Oh here we go. Sid introduces Dr. Harvey as his new manager here after his heel turn at SNME, and calls Herc a COWARD, just like Hulk Hogan. So he offers the chance to walk away unharmed, but Herc attacks instead and I guess he’s a babyface now. So Sid boots him, hits the powerbomb, and pins him, and Herc just pops right up and shrugs it off on his way out of the promotion. The camera angle they did here didn’t really have the same effect but Herc definitely had his “Pin me, pay me” face on for the pre-match and post-match. Honestly kind of disappointed after the buildup, I thought he was gonna jump up and write “WCW” in the air like Bret Hart or something.

Intercontinental title: Rowdy Roddy Piper v. Repo Man

Repo steals a watch from a woman at ringside, which I’m sure will pay off shortly. And indeed the woman tells Roddy about the watch on the way by, so Piper whips Repo with the belt and runs him into the corners while Repo denies any watch theft. Piper slugs away and Repo goes flying to the floor and continues his argument with the fan about the watch. I think she may be a plant. Just a hunch. Repo runs Roddy into the post, but Roddy shrugs him off and gets the sleeper. Repo gets the ropes and grabs his tow rope, but the ref catches him, allowing Piper to hit Repo with the hook himself and pin him at 3:33. And of course, he finds the watch in Repo’s pocket and returns it to the fan to pay off the goofy storyline. Nothing to this one. ½*

Meanwhile, Alfred chats with WWF Champion Ric Flair about the main event battle royale tonight. Also we hear from Roddy Piper, Sid Justice and the orange gaslighting son of a bitch.

The British Bulldog v. The Undertaker

So this is weirdly timed, as Undertaker had just turned babyface and gets a massive pop on the way in. Taker slugs away on Bulldog in the corner and chokes him out and the crowd doesn’t really know what to do with this one. Taker misses a charge and Bulldog clotheslines him to the floor as I guess they’re just going with Taker working as a heel here despite the cheers. He necks Bulldog on the ropes and chokes him out on the ropes, but Bulldog tries a slam and Taker falls back for two. Taker was doing some interesting stuff there, basically kicking out his legs to create his own leverage and block the slam. Taker continues choking Davey out in the corner, but Bulldog fights back with headbutts and a dropkick into the corner. So Taker runs him into the turnbuckles for a Bret Hart bump and slugs him down again. Elbow misses and Bulldog gets a delayed suplex, but Taker pops up and drops him with a stungun and pins him at 5:20. *

WRESTLEMANIA VIII! CELEBRITIES FROM PAST WM AND THE BIGGEST CROWD IN HOOSIER DOME HISTORY! I don’t think either of those are true.

Rick Martel v. Big Bossman

Bossman was of course feuding with IRS in the early part of the year before the switch to Money Inc derailed that direction, leaving him kind of directionless until Nailz burst on the scene like an inflamed hemorrhoid. Martel smacks him and runs away before going to a facelock. Bossman threatens to HIT HIM IN THE FACE and Martel wisely runs away again, but Bossman goes to work on the arm and Martel does goofy overselling for the kids. I would take a heel screaming in pain from a wristlock every day of the week. Bossman hiptosses him and then goes back to the arm after grabbing Martel’s ass in a weird spot. That’s BAD touching, Ray. He runs Martel into all four corners while the ref pleads for mercy on behalf of the Model, and then messes up the hair as both guys are clearly taking the night off. Blind charge misses and Martel takes over with a suplex for two. We hit the chinlock, but Bossman fights out of that and gets a small package for two. Martel puts him down again with a backbreaker and goes up, but Bossman brings him down and makes the comeback. Martel grabs Arrogance, but Bossman punches it out of his hands and threatens to spray the ref with it, which allows Martel to get the nightstick and clobber him from behind for the pin at 13:43. This was fine, just a totally cromulent midcard match. **

Next month: It’s the end of the MSG broadcasts for a long-ass time, featuring Shawn Michaels v. Virgil, Skinner v. Tatanka, IRS v. El Matador, The Nasty Boys & Mountie v. The Bushwhackers & Bret Hart and Sid Jusitce & Ric Flair v. Hulk Hogan & Rowdy Roddy Piper. OK that show sounds like hot trash but I gotta see it. Just hook it to my veins!

20 Man Battle Royale

We’ve got Berzerker, Bulldog, Martel, Hercules, Luke, Butch, Skinner, Repo Man, Warlord, Chris Walker, Kato, Jim Brunzell, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Knobs, Sags, Undertaker, Bossman, Sid Justice, Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan. Poor Paul Diamond just gets kept in a closet in one of those vacuum seal bags and released for battle royales. Everyone gets a full entrance for this thing so it takes FOREVER to get everyone into the ring. We get the usual pile-up of bodies and people randomly throwing punches on the ropes with nothing going on. Butch gets thrown out at 2:45 because he was all taped up anyway. Berzerker misses a charge and goes out at 5:35 via Hulk. Skinner is out at 5:45 as we start to clear it out. Kato gets tossed by Piper at 6:00. Hulk backdrops Herc out at 7:10 and thankfully he sells it this time. Martel gets tossed by the Bulldog right after. Flair and Piper decide to trade chops for fun as Sags is tossed out by Hulk at 8:24 and Luke goes out via Knobs at 8:35. Walker is backdropped out by Bulldog at 8:48. Sid misses a blind charge and then just jumps on Knobs and beats on him for some reason. Flair takes a dramatic bump over the top from a Hogan clothesline and he’s out at 9:50, taking Repo Man with him, and Piper is also out at 10:10. Hulk putting all these guys out leads me to believe someone else is winning. Sid and Hulk finally slug it out and that’s pretty terrible, and Bossman pushes UT over the top and out at 11:42. Hopefully Taker doesn’t hold a grudge about that and try to murder him 7 years later or anything. Bossman slugs away on Warlord and kicks Knobs in the nuts to save Hogan, but Bulldog gets tossed by Sid at 12:34. Hulk big boots Knobs out at 13:10 to finally get rid of him.

Final four: Warlord, Hogan, Sid, Bossman

Hulk clotheslines Warlord out at 13:33 to continue his run, and Sid backdrops Bossman out at the same time, leaving us with Sid v. Hogan. Sid puts the boots to him, but misses a charge and Hulk slugs away on him in the corner. But then Hulk argues with the ref and Sid clobbers them both. Why is the ref even in the ring for this match anyway? And Gorilla even brings that up! Hulk throws Sid out at 15:49, but the ref is out, so Sid just grabs Wippleman’s bag and knocks Hulk out of the ring, as the ref wakes up and sees Hulk on the floor, and declares Sid the winner at 16:30 in a ridiculous screwjob even by Hulk’s fragile ego standards. What a crybaby. They had to literally invent a reason for the ref to get bumped in order to book around the orange gaslighting son of a bitch. He couldn’t even do a job in a BATTLE ROYALE?

I’d say this is a much better show than the January one, although the main event didn’t do much for me despite having mammoth crowd heat.