The SmarK Rant for WWF in London, ON – 02.16.91

The SmarK Rant for WWE Vault – WWF in London Gardens 02.16.91

Originally written 02.16.26

Well this is an interesting addition to the Vault today, from 35 years ago today!

https://youtu.be/oq9BupiHWG8?si=BoxHRt_TD9Osd4mL

Taped from London, ON, notable for being the home of All Star Wrestling TV tapings for many years until 1986.

Your hosts are Sean Mooney & Lord Alfred Hayes

Koko B. Ware v. The Barbarian

Alfred tells a story about seeing a young Barbarian in Puerto Rico at age 17, which is an interesting lore drop. Barbarian powers Koko into the corner to start and then casually picks him up for a two handed choke before dropping him again. Koko dropkicks him to the floor and Barbarian heads back in with some chops, but Koko slugs back before getting backdropped to the floor. Back in the ring, Barbarian drops him on the top rope and sends him to the floor again. Koko tries a sunset flip back into the ring and gets blocked and beat down, and Barbarian goes to the neck massage. Koko fights out with a slam for two and goes up with a missile dropkick for two, but Barbarian hotshots him and pins him at 8:31. A fine opener. **1/2

Demolition Crush v. Bushwhacker Butch

Not sure what’s up with the singles match here. They have an awkward pause before doing the lockup and Crush puts him down off that, so Butch throws shoulderblocks and Crush won’t go down. Butch wants the test of strength and then pokes him in the eye instead and puts the boots to him. Back in the ring, the ref checks on Crush’s eyes and asks for clarification from Butch, who of course denies any wrongdoing. Crush tries a monkey flip and Butch blocks it with a boot to the head, and Crush bails off that. Back in the ring, he hits Butch with an atomic drop to take over, and lets the fans know that this is a consequence of messing with Demolition. Duly noted. I will be sure not to mess with Demolition moving forward. Whip to the corner gets two and Crush goes to a bodyscissors on the mat and then shifts to a bearhug. Butch fights out of that as Crush’s makeup is faded away entirely by this point, and Crush goes up for a fistdrop and misses. Butch makes a comeback and slugs away, headbutting him to the floor for a brawl out there. Butch runs him into the post, beats the count, and wins via countout at 9:52. Really bad, Butch Miller as a singles wrestler is NO BUYS. DUD. This was originally a tag match and I don’t know what happened with the other two.

Ted Dibiase v. Jimmy Snuka

Snuka is dressed like someone who would definitely post on /r/ungabunga. I’m assuming that joke got over yesterday because this is being written before that review is posted. Snuka rubs in the recent loss of Virgil, and brings him out to be HIS bodyguard tonight. Pretty sure Snuka can handle himself without a bodyguard, especially if he’s getting attacked by his girlfriend while high on something. Sean notes “nothing was settled at Wrestlemania”, which would indicate that the commentary was recorded long after the show was taped. Snuka attacks Dibiase on the floor while he’s busy badmouthing his former manservant, but Dibiase throws chops in the ring. Snuka runs him into the turnbuckles and rolls him up for two. Dibiase bails and Virgil throws him back in for another rollup that gets two. Snuka goes up and Dibiase hits him on the way down to take over and slugs away in the corner. Dibiase with the clothesline and he drops the fists, which Alfred calls “knuckle blows to the forehead”. That sounds like Bischoff and his “back leg front kicks”. Snuka bails to the apron and Dibiase tries a slam back in, but Virgil hooks the leg and Snuka falls on top for the pin at 4:40! Did not expect Dibiase doing a job here. *1/2

General Adnan v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

I don’t see this one going long. Duggan waves a Canadian flag around ringside, perhaps foreshadowing his turn to Team Canada in 2000, nine years early? TUNE INTO NITRO TO FIND OUT! After getting the crowd to chant “Back to Iraq”, Duggan slugs away in the corner and slams him to set up the three point stance at 0:45. Tough night’s work for Duggan there. Apparently this was supposed to be Duggan v. Slaughter and Adnan was a sub.

Rick Martel v. Jake Roberts

Jake works the arm as we have no commentary for this one, so I guess the other matches were sourced from Prime Time Wrestling or something. Martel tries to work the arm and Jake slugs him out of the ring, with Martel selling his beautiful nose. The ref checks it and I would have laughed if he had cracked it back in place or something, but no. Back in the ring, Jake hits him with an elbow and Martel bails to the floor again, just devastated by the injuries to his nose, which is surely broken twice over now. Maybe thrice. Martel hits him with a cheapshot in the corner to take over and drops a knee on him, stopping to pose and show that his nose is in fact in perfect working order the entire time. Those deep breaths are not the oxygen intake of a man with a fracture proboscis! Martel runs him into the corner and goes to work on the back before moving to a chinlock. Jake comes back with a sunset flip for two, but Martel chokes him down again and follows with a backbreaker. Martel to the top and Jake brings him down on his crotchal region and makes a comeback, slugging him off the top rope. Jake with the short clothesline and he goes to finish, but Martel runs away from the DDT. Jake misses a charge and Martel ties him in the ropes and chokes him out, and then grabs his spray can while Jake escapes. KICK WHAM DDT and it’s over at 12:30 after a dramatic crawl from Jake. **3/4

The Undertaker v. Tugboat

Tugboat’s music sounds like something from an N64 wrestling game. Another one with no commentary, as Taker attacks on the floor and chokes him out on the ropes. Tugboat tries a comeback and Taker faceplants him while Paul Bearer cackles at ringside, much more animated than he would be even a little later on. Taker chokes him out and drops the leg on him. Tugboat makes a comeback, but misses the blind charge, and Taker goes up with a flying elbow to finish at 4:00. This was about as good as it was gonna be given the guys involved and time given. *

The Brooklyn Brawler v. Virgil

I didn’t know Virgil was doing warmup matches before Wrestlemania, but it makes sense. Brawler attacks and Virgil elbows him out of the ring. Back in, Brawler ducks a punch and clotheslines him down before choking him out on the ropes to take over. Virgil comes back and misses a charge, landing on the floor, and Brawler gets some shots out there. Back in, Virgil misses a charge and Brawler puts the boots to him to take over again, following with a slam for two. Brawler misses a charge of his own and tries to regroup on the top rope, but Virgil slams him off and comes back with clotheslines and the legsweep. Powerslam gets the pin at 7:00. Not a super impressive singles debut but Brawler kept it going well enough. **

WWF Tag team title: The Hart Foundation v. Power & Glory

I don’t believe I’ve seen a Harts-PG match before in fact. Bret goes for the arm on Roma to start and catches him with an atomic drop to put him down. Over to Herc, who yanks Bret down by the hair, and that allows Anvil to come in and clean house on him. Back to Bret for more armbar action, but Herc presses him to take over. Roma drops the elbow and the heels work on Bret in the corner before Herc adds a backbreaker for two. Back to the heel corner for more working the back with clubbing forearms and choking, as P&G definitely have it in first gear tonight. Roma with a backbreaker for two and he goes to a bearhug. Herc puts the boots to him and pounds away in the corner before going to his own bearhug, but Anvil breaks it up and they switch it off behind the ref’s back. More forearms in the heel corner, but Roma misses a blind charge and it’s hot tag Neidhart. He pounds away with elbows and slams and hits the powerslam on Herc for two. They set up for the Hart Attack, but Roma breaks it up and they try the PowerPlex instead on Bret. But Anvil breaks that up and they all do a messy brawl on the floor for a double countout at 13:14. This was incredibly disappointing, with a terrible finish. Roma and Hercules were giving zero fucks here and couldn’t be bothered to do anything beyond simple heat spots. *1/2

WWF World title: Sgt. Slaughter v. Ultimate Warrior

The appearance of Queen Sherri here in Slaughter’s corner would indicate that Slaughter is subbing for Randy Savage tonight, so I guess the original card was Warrior v. Savage and Duggan v. Slaughter and they changed it around here. Warrior steals the helmet and beats on Sarge with that to start and chases him out of the ring. Back in, Warrior slugs away on him and backdrops him out of the corner before getting sidetracked by chasing Sherri under the ring. So they emerge and Warrior has torn her skirt off, which is a bit problematic, but that allows Sarge to attack and put the boots to Warrior to take over. We get all the choking you can handle and then some, and Sarge beats on Warrior’s back and slugs away in the corner. More choking on the ropes as they just don’t seem to have any idea of where this is going, and Slaughter drops more elbows on the back to finally set up the camel clutch. That goes on for a while as they build up the crowd heat, and Warrior powers out and sends him into the corner to break. Slaughter continues beating on him and Warrior makes the comeback with the THREE CLOTHESLINES OF DOOM, but he misses the big splash. Slaughter goes up with a clubbing forearm to the back and follows with a Slaughter Cannon for two. Warrior comes back and they clothesline each other for a double down, but Slaughter is up first and heads to the top again. Warrior slams him off and sends him into the post for the Slaughter Bump to the floor. Back for the shoulderblock, but the ref is bumped, and then Warrior clotheslines him again for no adequately explored reason, and that’s a DQ at 15:00. Not the worst Warrior match, but they took a while to figure out where they were going. **1/4. Afterwards, Warrior beats up the poor ref again, and then takes out his anger on officials and Sherri and even Pat Patterson! Well at least he got his heat back, I guess.

I always love and appreciate anything posted by the Vault, although this wasn’t exactly a high quality outing. That Harts match in particular was a huge letdown, but I always like rare footage like this no matter what.