The SmarK Rant for WWF in Kuwait – 05.83

The SmarK Rant for WWF in Kuwait – 05.??.83

Originally written 01.27.26

This was actually a request from the legend himself, Richard Land, who asked that I dig through the WWF International House show section of Fish & Chips and give some of them a review. I have no other context for this one, and I’m going into it blind without even having an exact date outside of “May 1983”. Details are very scarce, although results are at least available. So let’s check it out!

Taped from Kuwait City, Kuwait, in some kind of football stadium

There is commentary, but obviously I have no idea who it is or what they’re saying. Even if they were speaking English the sound is 3^rd-generation tape trader awful anyway.

Mr. Fuji v. Pete Sanchez

I believe this ended up on one of the “WWF World tour” themed Coliseum videos. Fuji’s salt ceremony is very upsetting to the sultans around the ring. And then Fuji puts Pete down with a kneedrop and goes to work on the arm, but Sanchez gets a comeback and slugs him down. Fuji, consummate pro, is of course swinging for the fences here with every sell, playing for the cheap seats. Well I doubt any of the seats were cheap judging by the audience, but you know. Sanchez takes him down with armdrags and works on that. Bodypress gets two and he takes Fuji down with another armdrag, but Fuji slams out of it and quickly finishes with a pump splash at 7:44. A decidedly below average opener. *

This week in 1983 commercials: A Pac Man video game machine gets infected by 7-Up with “Bette Davis Eyes” as the theme song. Yup, that’s 1983 all right. Also I have no idea what TV station this would be airing on.

The Haiti Kid v. Little Beaver

The Kid takes Beaver down with a headlock, so he hides behind the ref. Haiti works the arm with a hammerlock and we get some wacky comedy off that, with Beaver doing little kicks behind the ref’s back to annoy Haiti. But then he misses a blind charge and knocks himself out, and Haiti pins him at 7:22. Yeah.

Moondog Rex v. Ivan Putski

Putski gets a massive reaction here, easily overpowering Rex and shoving him into the corner with POLISH POWER. Apparently the Kuwaiti royals are fine with Poland. Rex tries a full nelson and Ivan blocks that while Rex gets a terrified look on his face, and then Putski uses his arms to squeeze Rex’s wrists and inflict tremendous pain on him. Rex works the arm, but Putski’s arm is too powerful and he reverses to a hammerlock as Rex yells in pain again and retreats to the floor. Back in the ring, Rex tries a top wristlock and once again is unable to overcome POLISH POWER. So Rex takes him down and then follows with a back elbow before going to a chinlock. Rex with a neckbreaker for two and he follows with a backbreaker for two. Putski fights back for the big babyface reaction as they’re keeping it super simple, and the Polish Hammer finishes at 8:50. Super simple, babyface shine, get the heat, sell sell sell, comeback and pin. **

SD Jones v. Moondog Spot

Well they already had an extra Moondog at ringside for the last match, so might as well get some use out of him. Man, poor Tony Altimore has refereed every match so far. He must be getting testy, because he banishes Rex from ringside for no reason, even though Spot got to stay at ringside for the previous match. Spot gets some cheapshots on the ropes, but Jones backdrops him and slugs away to take over, as apparently shucking and jiving translates to this crowd just fine. Spot tries a headlock and Jones slugs out of it. Spot with a chinlock and he pops up to the middle rope and drops a fist for two before going back to the chinlock again. Jones fights out of that and tries a slam, but Spotty falls on top for two and they collide for a double down. SD makes the comeback and makes a special delivery of a headbutt for two. Blind charge misses and Spot goes up agian with a clothesline, and that finishes at 8:00. Not exactly a Moondog Spot Hidden Gem, but it was fine. **1/2. Afterwards, Spot lays in the beats, but an enraged Pedro Morales makes the save and chases him off.

Tiger Jackson v. Pancho Boy

Wow, we’re gifted with a second midget match! Featuring the future Dink the Clown, no less. Tiger works a headlock to start, and Pancho is unable to escape by pulling the hair, due to lack of hair to pull. Pancho wants a test of strength, but Tiger takes him down and steps on him to win that battle. Pancho works the arm, but Tiger takes him down with a nice flying headscissors and a monkey flip for two. Bodypress gets one. Tiger takes him down with a single leg and tries an anklelock, but Pancho fights out and into a hammerlock. So Tiger cradles for two and then hits a RANA out of the corner, before finishing with a sunset flip out of the corner at 11:00. This was fucking weird, man, as you’re expecting wacky midget shenanigans and it’s just creepy smooth hairless Tiger Jackson working a normal match with another little fella and doing anklelocks and shit. Probably the best match of the night so far if we’re being honest with ourselves. ***

Pedro Morales v. The Unpredictable Johnny Rodz

Well I certainly would not have predicted this match as the semi-main. Pedro was the Intercontinental champion, but ironically they’re on another continent and the title is not on the line. Rodz works a headlock and celebrates like he’s having a Wrestlemania Moment(tm) but Pedro quickly powers him down and brushes him off. Rodz tries a hammerlock and Pedro slams out of it, prompting complains from Johnny about biased refereeing and pulling of the tights, as he heads out of the ring to plead his case to the front row. But then he suddenly runs up the top rope and drops an elbow on Pedro when his back is turned, which is a pretty clever deal. He drops some more boots and tosses Pedro to the carpet below and they fight out there, as Rodz slams him on what appears to be the carpeting from The Shining and then drops the stairs on him and runs Pedro into them for good measure. Suplex back in the ring gets two. To the top, but Pedro nails him on the way down and makes the comeback, sending him to the apron and then slingshotting him back in the ring with a giant bump. He follows with a backdrop as they’re getting more and more revved up with the crowd, but then Pedro quickly finishes an O’Connor roll out of the corner at 9:10 just as it’s getting really good. OK, THIS was clearly the best match on the show so far. ***1/4.

Tony Garea v. Jose Estrada

A main event in any kingdom of the world! They trade takedown attempts and Estrada sends Tony to the floor and then holds the ropes for him in a sportsmanlike gesture. Back in the ring, Tony goes for the arm and Estrada reverses to a hammerlock, so Tony takes him down and sends him out of the ring to escape that. And then he also holds the ropes in a show of sportsmanship, but Jose punches him in the face on the way into the ring because he will not be shown up. So they criss-cross and trade FULL BODY LIFTS AND SLAMS, but Garea takes him down with an armbar to take over and works on that. Estrada fights up, but Garea gets some deep armdrags to take him down again, so Jose kicks him in the gut. In the name of sportsmanship. Jose sends him into the corner and follows with a backdrop for two before going to a chinlock, but the crowd is HOT for New Zealand and wills him into a comeback. So Estrada yanks him down by the hair and goes back to it again. That actually goes on for a long time, which is weird because they had the crowd going with that initial comeback and then Estrada just cut it off for no reason and killed them off. But then Tony makes a second comeback and backdrops Estrada to rev them up again, and hops over Jose before hitting a bodypress out of the corner for the pin at 14:00. I will say, all three matches ending with a pinning combo out of the corner is some lazy agenting, even for 1983. Another really good match to end the show. ***1/4.

We took a while to get there, but this ended up being a pretty good 1983 house show, as long as you set expectations accordingly and enjoy it for the extreme rarity that it is.

Next time: We mix up the wrestlers on hand for a whole new lineup and do it again in Kuwait City!

As always, big thanks to Richard Land and the Fish & Chips Patreon, where you can get all of this and so so so so much more for $13 / month!