The SmarK Rant for WWF in Kuwait – 04.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF in Kuwait – 04.??.86

Originally written 01.30.26

OK we’re skipping over the other 83 shows and all the way into 1986 at the recommendation of Richard. You wanna watch any of this? You know the place: FISH AND CHIPS. Lifeblood of the blog. Worth every cent I send his way.

Taped from Kuwait City, Kuwait, sometime in April 1986. As always, I don’t know when exactly or where it aired. From what I can see, it’s the second show of the tour, and the first one looked abysmal. But the stadium and probably the audience are exactly the same as the 83 show. Why not build a brand new stadium in two weeks using slave labor? Worked for the Saudis.

Tiger Chung Lee v. Paul Roma

The “crowd” is dead silent aside from polite applause for the introductions of both guys. They fight for the wristlock to start and Tiger goes to work on the arm, but Roma reverses out to take over. Roma with some slams and back to the armdrag. Lee finally breaks free of the armbar and uses some martial arts to take over. Tiger puts the boots to him as the crowd could not care any less about this match and just sits there in complete silence. Roma comes back with a whip into the corner and he stomps Lee down as the sultans would likely be on their phones checking the stock market if cell phones had been a thing in 1986. Tiger sends him to the apron and out to the luxurious green grass around the ring. That’s the devatating bump? That looks DELIGHTFUL. Who wouldn’t want to fall on that and roll around in it? Back in the ring, Roma comes back with a backdrop and desperately tries to draw any noise of this crowd at all, but it’s not happening. Blind charge misses, however, and Lee gets a dropkick for two. He follows with a pair of kneelifts and goes back to stomping on Roma before tossing him into the wonderfully lush foliage. But Roma comes back in with a sunset flip for the pin at 13:48 and I think one guy clapped. ½*

MIDGET MADNESS: Dana Carpenter v. Haiti Kid

The Kid takes him down with a headlock after some shenanigans with the referee, but Carpenter slams him for two. Of course Dana protests the slow count and demands a faster one next time, but we don’t get the expected payoff of the babyface trying a pin and the ref counting fast. Instead they do the test of strength and Carpenter puts him down with a dropkick. Kid ties him up in a leglock on the mat and then follows with a butt-butt before going to a chinlock. Kid tosses him out to the very padded mats below and Dana sneaks under the ring and tries to attack Kid from behind, drawing a legit shriek of terror from someone in the audience, but Kid catches him and we go back to working holds on the mat. Carpenter works him over in the corner as we’re over 11 minutes for a MIDGET MATCH and they’re just doing armbars and shit. Kid makes a comeback with an airplane spin and pins him at 12:25. Really really boring.

Remind me to stop taking recommendations from Richard Land.

King Tonga & Superfly Afi v. Rowdy Roddy Piper & Cowboy Bob Orton

OK now we’re talking. We spend about 10 minutes of airtime just showing shots of the “crowd”, which is pathetically empty even compared to the original 83 show, and then finally get to this one. They immediately brawl to the floor and Piper takes Tonga into the crowd, shoving the sultans out of the way and dropping the row of chairs on Tonga. Then they fight on the grass and shove chairs and people out of the way, just doing a crazy brawl with no care for decorum. Piper tries to walk out and draws actual heat, and then the match moves into the ring as the Islanders double-team Orton and Tonga headbutts him for two. Piper returns and continues the brawl, but Afi chops him over the top with a good bump. They go brawling into the crowd again and back into the ring as Piper gets bumped around in the babyface corner. Finally he goes low on Afi and the heels work him over. Out to the floor again, and they brutalize Afi and drop a table on him, prompting an angry King Tonga to chase them away, and goddamn if Afi isn’t busted open here too. So Piper grabs what looks like someone’s headdress from ringside and chokes Afi out with it, and it’s bright white when it starts out and then drenched in red when he’s done, and they continue beating on him after that. Piper goes to a neck vice, howling like a madman, but Tonga chops him to break it up. Bob dramatically winds up a big stomp and puts the boots to Afi, and then taunts Tonga while Piper gets two on Afi. WHY WOULD YOU TAUNT HAKU?! Back to the corner and they continue beating on Afi, who is just bleeding all over, and we even get a false tag spot with a distracted Danny Davis to draw more heat. And then Piper goes over and waffles Tonga off the apron for good measure, really getting the crowd going, and they hit Afi with a double gourdbuster for the pin at 17:00. So Tonga drags Piper out of the ring and brawls with him into the crowd again, and they’re just throwing chairs and shit while the refs haul the bloody Afi out of the ring for medical attention and it’s just a crazy hootenanny. This was awesome. ****

Afterwards, we get an absolutely coked up interview from Piper, who would rather fight the women of Kuwait rather than the pigs they call men. And he’s beaten Hulk Hogan, Mickey Mouse, and everyone put in front of him.

Yeah so good luck following that.

The Tiger v. Jim Young

The Tiger is clearly another Bob Bradley gimmick, not to be confused with Black Tiger or Tiger Mask or Tiger Hattori or Tony the Tiger. Just a normal Tiger. Jim Young is just a guy. I’m assuming the show is safely downhill from here. Lots of stalling from Young to start, and Tiger slams him on the way into the ring, but misses a headbutt. Young misses his own elbow and Tiger rolls him up for two, but Young tosses him and we get a weird cut to him suddenly on the ground himself and Tiger back in the ring. They leave in minutes of panning across the empty crowd at a time but edit something out HERE? Back in the ring, Young puts him down with a cheapshot and goes up the incredibly loose ropes for a flying kneedrop and some choking. Young goes to a lengthy chinlock, but Tiger fights out of that and works the leg. Young retreats to the apron and Tiger suplexes him back in. He goes up and misses a diving headbutt, and Young gets a gut wrench suplex for two. Tiger slams him and drops a headbutt to come back, and they slug it out until Young gets tied up in the ropes. He escapes, but Tiger hits him with a diving bodypress out of the corner for the pin at 11:00. This was fine, good even at points, but who gives a shit about these guys? **1/2

Meanwhile, the GREAT GAMA does a promo about Roddy Piper, as apparently they had a match on the first show. Also funny because he talks in a totally normal voice here but always played up the Indian accent in Stampede for heat, so it threw me off here.

SD Jones v. Dave Barbie

Man they really brought the best for this tour. We get a whole bunch of stalling and Barbie takes him down with a headscissors on the mat, but Jones escapes and headbutts him into the corner. They do the test of strength and we get a verrrrrrrrrrrry lengthy chinlock from Barbie, but SD fights out, headbutts him, and pins him at 8:00. Well that was definitely a match that happened. *

Hercules Hernandez v. The Great Gama Singh

Well this is a batshit crazy main event for a WWF show in 1986. They fight for the lockup and Herc accuses Gama of various hairpulling tactics. I mean, he normally would. I always heard Ed Whalen talking about Gama doing tours of the far east and being a huge crowd favorite and I never believed it, but here we are now. Hercules bails to the floor and argues with the kids in the front rows in a fun little bit, and then heads back into the ring to work on Gama’s arm. Herc tosses him and slams him on the soft grass and back in for a backbreaker. Herc goes up with a forearm shot to put him down as this entire match has just been Gama selling for like 10 minutes. Herc with a bearhug and Gama slugs out of it, but Herc puts him down again and follows with an inverted atomic drop. Gama comes back and slugs away on him before going to the top and finishes with a missile dropkick at 10:18. A terrible main event to cap off a terrible show. ½*

Clearly there’s one match here worth watching, but it’s an awesome match at least. But it in no way saves the rest of the show, which was complete dogshit start to finish without the Piper match to save it.