The SmarK Rant for WWF in Houston – 06.07.87

The SmarK Rant for WWF in Houston – 06.07.87

Man this channel just gets me so much.

Taped from Houston, TX, although it’s not intended for TV so no commentary, I’m guessing?

I’m gonna try the color gimmick again and see how long before I get sick of it, but people actually liked it despite it being a bit silly.

Paul Roma & Jim Powers v. The Islanders

The drum music for the Islanders here sounds like Lars Ulrich on St. Anger. The Islanders are apparently freshly heel at this point because Tama instructs the front row to shut their mouths, generally a sure sign of being a bad guy. Roma and Tama trade wristlocks and Tama hides in the ropes to break and then beats him down with forearms. Roma comes back with dropkicks and chases Tama to the floor and he claims various imaginary cheating tactics on the part of young Paul. Over to Haku and Roma quickly stomps him down and it’s over to Powers for a double elbow and he works a headlock. Haku keeps rolling him over and Roma pushes them back from the apron in a nice little bit of tag teamery, and then Powers chases him to the floor again for some advice from Tama. That advice? “You should have about 17 kids and get them all jobs as wrestlers because they’ll have job security for life.” Guess he listened. Back in the ring, an angry old white lady in the front row is FIRED UP and not taking any crap from these Islanders. This woman would probably fight the whole Bloodline on her own so WATCH OUT, Roman. Powers keeps hitting the Islanders with armdrags to frustrate them and then we get a cute spot where Tama does a drop down and Powers drops down beside him before popping up and dropkicking him. I love that old tomfoolery stuff. Back to the Stallion corner and they double-team Tama’s arm and Roma goes to another headlock before dodging a splash and taking out the arm again. Back to Haku and Powers catches him with his head down and goes back to work on the arm, before Roma comes in with a drop toehold into a headlock. And then finally Tama trips him up from the floor and he falls flat on the face and the females SHRIEK with horror as the heels take over. Haku puts the boots to Roma and chokes him on the ropes, and then Tama switches in without a tag and adds his own choking. But then Roma makes a comeback and it’s HOT TAG Powers as the ladies go crazy and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA. But then the Islanders whip them together and Haku hits Powers with a backbreaker, setting up the flying Tama splash at 16:32 to finish. Man this match was ALL shine for the Young Stallions and the crowd was going crazy for them as a result. ***1/4

George “The Animal” Steele v. Tiger Chung Lee

Lee goes for a clothesline and George bites his arm, and then they quickly take it to the floor for some chairshots from the Animal. Back in the ring for more chairs as this ref is astonishingly lenient with the rules, but Lee misses a headbutt and George pins him at 3:20. Well the kids liked it. DUD. And to prove it, George calls a kid from the audience into the ring and instructs him on eating the turnbuckle pad.

Killer Khan v. Tito Santana

So now we’ve got commentary with Paul Boesch and Peter Berkholtz. Tito tries for a takedown in the corner and Khan kicks him down and chokes him out while Paul relates some sumo wrestling lore. Khan chops Tito down, but misses a charge and hits the corner, allowing Tito to go to work on the leg. Khan bails to the floor to escape, and Tito works on the arm back in the ring. Khan kicks him down to take over as we learn that Tito’s family is apparently watching him in the crowd. I’m sure Bobby Heenan or Jesse Ventura would make a rude remark about how they rolled their taco stand into the building with them so it wouldn’t get stolen while they were gone. NOT ME. Tito fights back and slugs away in the corner, but Khan crotches him on the top rope and the ref calls it a DQ at 9:43. Weird, given they were rocketing Khan towards Hulk Hogan, I thought it would just be a clean squash win for him. *1/2

Koko B. Ware v. The Demon

We’re gifted with some talk from the tech crew over the sound board as they struggle to get something working, while Koko works the arm and chases the Demon out of the ring. Back in the ring, Koko backdrops him out of the corner and goes back to the arm, until the Demon chokes him out with a piece of rope that he had hidden in his mask. Joey Marella does a particularly awful job of keeping track of this, as the string is clearly just hanging from his mask and in full view. The Demon stomps him down and chokes him out on the ropes, and goes up with a clothesline for two. Demon with a sleeper and he goes airborne, but misses a splash and allows Koko to make the comeback. Missile dropkick and Ghostbuster finish at 8:35. As always, Jose Rivera was having a ball playing a cheating heel. **

Outlaw Ron Bass v. Scott Casey

Bass quickly attacks him and tosses him, and we have commentary again, although they’re having trouble with the audio, which is probably what the guys in the previous match were talking about. They fight on the floor and Bass beats him down out there and slugs him off the apron. Casey fights his way back in the ring and throws his own punches to send Bass to the floor. Back in, Casey with forearms and he goes to a headlock before chasing him to the floor again. Back in, Casey with a bodypress for two, but Bass hits him with a backdrop suplex and puts him down with a kneelift. Back to the floor and Bass drops him on the railing. But then Casey comes back with a piledriver in the ring and slugs away on him, but he tries the bulldog and Bass throws him off. And the Pedigree finishes at 6:46. Casey spun his finger around in the air before doing the bulldog and everything, he should have had it in the bag! Pretty decent midcard match. **1/2

Sam Houston v. Terry Gibbs

Man you might say that Houston wasn’t over, but they NAMED THE COLISEUM AFTER HIM. Could even Hulk Hogan say that in 1987? Doubtful. Sam does his little Texas dance moves while Gibbs hides in the ropes, so Sam hits him with chops on the ropes. They fight for the lockup and the commentary is oddly out of order on this show, as the announcers talk about the finish of the main event here, which hasn’t happened yet on this show. And also in a previous match they were talking about the next show’s main event, which was also set up by the main event here. So I’m assuming they just moved the matches around given the importance of the big match on this show. Sam works the arm and works the arm and works the arm, but misses a charge and Gibbs suplexes him for two. Gibbs with a neckbreaker for two. He throws punches, but Sam ducks them and hits him with an atomic drop, and then finishes with the bulldog at 8:20. He didn’t even spin his finger around first! The agents for this show are the WORST. *

Little Coco & Karate Kid v. Cowboy Lang & Lord Littlebrook

We’ve lost commentary again, which I’m sure is why this show went unused all these years. Coco works a headlock on Lang after some shenanigans, and the heels collide off that. Poor Lang gets continually betrayed by his own partner through the power of fun-sized hijinx, and it’s over to Speedba….I mean Karate Kid. He throws kicks on Littlebrook in the corner, but then the heels double-team him and that quickly goes sideways with Littlebrook accidentally choking out his own partner. Honestly a lot of this stuff would work in Young Bucks matches with the right execution. Lang suplexes Karate Kid for two and we get the bit with the ref catching him on the kickout and then throwing him down again. Coco comes in and overpowers both heels at the same time, but Littlebrook puts him down with a cheapshot and the heels take over. Lang with a backdrop, but Coco distracts him and gets his own cheapshot before tagging out. And then Lang tries the same trick on Karate Kid and gets kicked down for his troubles. Littlebrook takes over on the Kid and Lang comes in with a suplex on Coco, but the heels are still having trouble getting on the same page. I mean, unless the page was exceptionally small you wouldn’t think they’d have a problem fitting, but here we are. Lang works Coco over and beats him down with chops for two. Coco makes the comeback and biels Littlebrook, but Lang cuts him off. But then he makes the mistake of ramming Coco’s head into Littlebrook’s knee, which just results in an injured knee. The heels work Kid over next as this match is entering “way too long” territory. Lang with a suplex for two. And finally we get more hijinx and Lang pins Kid at 13:17. This was fun for 3 minutes but it ran THIRTEEN. Also it was announced as “tag team main event” at the end and everyone was leaving, so I’m guessing it was actually the last match and the Vault edit just moved it up in the show.

Nikolai Volkoff v. Junkyard Dog

This one is straight out of Hulk Hogan’s Rock N Wrestling. Speaking of which, all those shows are on the Vault as well, and I’ve wondered if they would be something reviewable. One of these days I’ll try it and Megabucks will probably lose his damn mind in excitement. Dog and Volkoff fight for the lockup in the corner, by which I mean politely tussle while avoiding actual contact as much as possible, and then Dog starts working the arm. Volkoff slugs him down and uses Slick’s cane behind the ref’s back, and that gets two. Volkoff with a bearhug as Jake Roberts is apparently in Dog’s corner tonight for whatever reason. Maybe they were buying some…uh…refreshments together and decided just to hang out after the match? So they could, you know, enjoy their refreshments? Volkoff bails and the angry white women in the front row have some SPICY words for him, as apparently Texas does not take kindly to Russians. Now that it’s a Democrat stronghold you’d think they would be more open to multiculturalism. Volkoff keeps hitting Dog with cheapshots, but Dog fights back out of the corner with punches that JR would no doubt classify as soup bones. Volkoff misses a charge and takes a dramatic bump out of the corner, and Dog pins him at 7:00. And then Jake pulls out his snake and drapes it all over Volkoff. Well the kids liked it. ½*

One Man Gang v. Ted Dibiase

Yes, you read those colors correctly. This was Dibiase’s WWF debut and he’s a babyface because Boesch wanted him to turn at the next show to maintain kayfabe. Gang beats on him with clubbing forearms, but misses an elbow and Dibiase fights back with chops and slugs away as the crowd goes crazy for him. Dibiase with a dropkick, which is something you didn’t see from him very often, and Gang bails to the floor. Back in the ring, Gang wants a test of strength, but Dibiase reverses out to a hammerlock and drops knees on the arm. Dibiase is a shockingly effective babyface here and it’s kind of a shame that he never had a chance to work babyface again for the remainder of his career. Gang works him over on the mat, but Ted fires up again and makes a comeback, before missing a dropkick. Gang misses an elbow and Dibiase uses the spinning toehold, which was his finisher in his early WWF days, but Gang kicks out of it and blocks a blind charge with a boot out of the corner, and then pins Ted with his feet on the ropes at 9:31. This was fine but Dibiase playing total babyface is WILD. **. Sam Houston comes out to defend Dibiase’s honor and protest to the ref, but to no avail. So that sets up Dibiase & Houston v. Gang & Ron Bass at the next show. And that’s where Dibiase turns on Houston for the local audience’s benefit so that it makes sense when he shows up on TV as the Million Dollar Man.

And we get some promos from the two teams in next month’s main event to wrap things up.

This wasn’t like a barn-burner show or anything but as a historical record it was GREAT to have it released in full finally. Plus the opening tag match was kind of a 1987 banger, so there’s that.