The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 08.30.86 (Final Episode)

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 08.30.86

Originally written 02.07.26

And we wrap up the WWF Championship Wrestling run with the final episode, aired on my 12^th birthday!

Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY on 08.05.86

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino

Randy Savage v. Mario Mancini

Interesting that the lights are back down again after the super-bright start of the taping. I wonder if people were leaving during the show and they had to cover it up? Macho lays him out with a knee to the back and drops a knee on him for two. I should note that Macho is using light blue trunks and red boots, which is a combo I can’t ever recall him using before. Macho chokes him out on the ropes and dumps him to the floor for the double axehandle before tossing him into the crowd for a beating out there. Back in with a double axehandle and gut wrench slam, and he drops an elbow for two. Powerslam and he drops the big elbow to finish at 2:34.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

Gene’s topic this week is Billy Jack Haynes, and we get a promo from Billy along with footage of him riding a horse in Oregon, because he loves Oregon! That’s why he wrote it on his ass!

The Junkyard Dog & George Steele v. The Gladiator & Mr. X

Steele chases both masked men out of the ring and they decide that Mr. X is the guy who’s gonna try it first. So Steele rips up the turnbuckle and rubs it in his face. Man, it was the 80s, there could have been asbestos in that padding. Meanwhile we get an inset from the Honky Tonk Man, who announces that he’s coming real soon, while JYD finishes Gladiator with the Thump at 1:45. Afterwards, JYD introduces Wayne Ferris, “The Honky Tonky Man”, from Nashville Tennessee, and brings him out to dance, but we cut away.

Paul Orndorff v. Tommy Sharpe

Sharpe takes Paul down with an armdrag but has no followup while we get an inset from Lanny Poffo with a poem about Mr. Wonderful. Orndorff puts the boots to Tommy and clotheslines him, and then finishes with the piledriver at 2:05. The heat for Wonderful was just off the charts here.

Jimmy Jack Funk v. The Rebel Dick Slater

Slater goes after Hoss on the outside but he don’t want that smoke, so he slugs away on Jimmy Jack in the ring instead and gets a suplex for two. Hoss distracts him and Jimmy runs him into the corner to take over and hits him with a kneelift. Slater comes back with a legsweep while we get an inset from Superstar Graham, and Slater goes up with the elbow before Hoss runs in for the DQ at 2:21.

The Flower Shop with special guests the Machines. Bobby Heenan demands to inspect them, and he’s sure that he knows Super Machine from somewhere. Next up, Albano swaps in a slightly bigger Machine, who would be the Big Machine, and now Bobby is all discombobulated.

The Coronation of Harley Race!

Yes, the ring is filled with a who’s who on the heel side, as Harley debuts his new gimmick as the King of Wrestling, and Bobby reads a proclamation and leads a rousing chant of “Long Live the King”. Studd and Bundy carry him out on their shoulders and Vince is disgusted by the whole proceeding.

The US Express v. Steve Lombardi & Gino Carabello

Interestingly, after a one week appearance as “The American Express”, Spivey and Rotundo are now officially repackaged into “The US Express”, which was no doubt due to a phone call from the credit card company. Rotundo slams Carabello, but misses an elbow, so Spivey comes in and works his arm. Over to Lombardi, and Spivey hits him with slams and works the arm while we get an inset from Roddy Piper, who promises that he’s got something to get off his chest next week. Back to Carabello and Rotundo controls him with a headlock before Spivey puts him down with a clothesline. They hit him with a double dropkick, but Lombardi takes Rotundo to the corner for a beating there. But then Carabello walks into a back elbow from Mike, and Spivey dropkicks him before finishing with a bulldog at 4:30. Kind of a lethargic squash. Also Vince calls them “Windham & Rotundo” so WHOOPS.

NEXT WEEK: It’s the debut of SUPERSTARS OF WRESTLING, with a special appearance on the Flower Shop by Rowdy Roddy Piper. Although oddly enough, Vince doesn’t say anything about the new name and format.