The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 08.16.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 08.16.86

Originally written 02.06.26

Taped from Poughkeepsie NY on 08.05.86, the final taping for Championship Wrestling.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino

The Killer Bees v. Steve Lombardi & Rusty Brooks

OK, we’re fully into the final preparation for Superstars now, with the arena fully lit up with all the house lights and lots of modern camera work. It’s crazy watching a bunch of these in a row and seeing how drastically the presentation changes in such a short time. Also the crowd is mic’ed up super hot. The Bees double-team Lombardi and work on his arm, and then it’s over to Rusty for a double backdrop. Rusty comes back with some shots in the corner, but Brunzell hits him with a high knee and Blair puts him down with a hooking clothesline. Vince notes that Lombardi is “catching flies” on the apron, but that wouldn’t be for a few years yet. And the Brunzell dropkick finishes Brooks at 3:10.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

They still haven’t changed the Update set to the more familiar one that debuts later in the year, but that’s about the last piece of the puzzle at this point. Hulk Hogan does a promo about “Paul Orn-doff”, same as last week, where he talks about “spies in Washington” and threatens to execute Paul as a traitor, via 24 inch pythons.

The Hart Foundation v. Terry Morgan & Jim Powers

Powers works on Bret’s arm to start, and we get a inset promo from Superstar Billy Graham out in the desert, getting ready to make his return. Anvil with a powerslam on Morgan and Bret comes in with the middle rope elbow and backbreaker for two. Bret whips Anvil into Morgan and the Hart Attack finishes at 3:10. The Harts were rapidly adapting to the new era and building steam as a team.

The Super Machine v. Ivan MacDonald

The Giant Machine is not wrestling this week, but remains at ringside to support the man from Sapporo. Ivan tries a headlock, but Super puts him down with a back elbow and then hits him with a double chop to the neck before going to a chinlock. Meanwhile, Bobby Heenan lurks in the audience and takes photos, trying to scope out the true identity of Giant Machine before running away and hiding from Lou Albano. Super Machine keeps beating on MacDonald with chops and finishes with a neckbreaker at 2:45. Vince is still unsure of the Giant Machine, but to be honest lots of people from the island of Foo Yoo Too look alike.

The Dream Team v. Mario Mancini & Jose Luis Rivera

Rivera gets double-teamed by the Dream Team and Valentine puts him down with an atomic drop. Beefcake with a bearhug into his own atomic drop, but Rivera reverses out and brings in Mancini. And Mario gets pounded by Beefcake anyway, and Valentine follows with an elbow off the top. Beefcake with the high knee for two, but he picks up Mancini and Valentine drops the hammer to set up the figure-four at 2:55.

The Flower Shop with special guest…the Magnificent Muraco. But no, instead we get a surprise appearance from the returning ROWDY RODDY PIPER, who announces that he’s here to take his show back. So Adonis tells him to get lost, and Bob Orton, with his new pink cowboy hat, steps in to bounce Piper if needed. Bob says it’s just about the money, but Piper offers Orton one chance to come with him. Bob refuses, and Piper thinks that maybe Bob likes wearing pink because “birds of a feather flock together.” OK then. This was awesome and the start of one of my favorite angles of all time.

Sivi Avi, King Tonga & The Tonga Kid v. Joe Mirto, Terry Gibbs & George Leech

And now we have the debut of the Islanders, with Tonga Kid returning after a couple of years away. And he’s pretty pumped up to be there. Tonga works a headlock on Mirto and puts him down chops, so it’s over to Gibbs. Tonga Kid jumps all around and he’s super pumped up while we get our weekly inset poem from Lanny Poffo. Tonga slams the rather girthy Leech, and then picks him up and does it again, and Tonga Kid flies in with the splash at 3:01. Man you’ve never seen someone so happy to be employed again as Tonga Kid here.

Tony Atlas v. Hercules Hernandez

Hey, it’s Tony Altas! No entrance for him, though. Hercules is now managed by The Doctor of Style after last week’s transfer of the contracts of Blassie. Poor Hercules was sold like a commodity three times in his WWF run. No wonder he was so bitter by the end. Herc works a headlock on Atlas and we get an inset from the HONKY TONK MAN, who is debuting soon to help out his good friend Hulk Hogan. Hercules stomps Atlas down and puts the boots to him as Tony doesn’t appear particularly motivated here. Hercules beats him and beats him and finally Tony makes his comeback and runs wild for a bit, hitting a back suplex to fire up the crowd. But he doesn’t cover and instead hits more headbutts before going to the top for a flying headbutt that puts Herc on the floor. Atlas with a suplex back in the ring, but Slick whacks Tony in the shins with his cane, and Herc falls on top for the pin at 3:40. Decent little semi-squash, actually, but the return of Tony Atlas was super random and never went anywhere.

NEXT WEEK: Rowdy Roddy Piper returns to the ring! I believe that was a very famous and hilarious match, actually. Plus the British Bulldogs, Studd & Bundy, and MORE!

Oh man Championship Wrestling is going out with some banger episodes! Just two left after this one.