The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 08.09.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 08.09.86

Originally written 02.06.26

Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY on 07.15.86

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino

Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff v. Mario Mancini

Paul is now using “Real American” as his music, as he should be, and the heat for his entrance is something to see. Interesting to note that when this was taped, the episode would have JUST aired on TV, so it was really fresh in the minds of the fans here. Paul quickly hammers the geek and rubs his face in the mat, and then teases the piledriver before dropping him again and demanding more fight. So he picks up Mancini and puts him down with a clothesline before putting the boots to him and tossing him to the floor. The fans are chanting for Hogan, so Orndorff teaches them a lesson by tossing the jobber to the floor and hitting him with the piledriver on the floor. YOU SEE WHAT CHEERING FOR HOGAN GETS YOU? THIS GUY’S BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS, DUMMIES! Orndorff takes the countout win at 3:20. I hope Orndorff goes into the audience and piledrives every one of the disrespectful pukes who was cheering for someone else during his match. Especially the kids. They deserve it the most. Spare the piledriver and spoil the child, I always say.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

This week’s topic: Do the martial arts have a place in pro wrestling? Ricky Steamboat feels like they do.

Tito Santana & Pedro Morales v. Dave Barbie & Terry Gibbs

We get an inset from Johnny Valiant here, setting up a feud with the Dream Team that didn’t lead to anything. Tito goes after Gibbs’ arm to start and then slugs him down and hits him with armdrags. Over to Barbie as Vince notes that Pedro and Tito were co-holders of the tag team titles at different points. Did Pedro’s tag team title actually count? Never been clear on that one. Pedro rolls up Barbie for the pin at 2:30.

Randy Savage v. Mark Faban

Is this guy’s middle initial “K” by any chance? Come on, that name has to be a rib. Even VINCE MCMAHON jokes that he must have a relative named “Kay”! You know, it’s probably a reasonable hypothesis that Hogan turned on Mr. Wonderful like he did because he was terrified of facing the Macho Man for the title again and wanted to avoid it by facing literally anyone else. Macho drops a knee on Faban and finishes him off with the flying elbow at 1:30. Didn’t even need to take off his bandana, DIG IT! Also he drops a second elbow, while Vince notes that referee Danny Davis was just standing there and letting it happen. Hmmm.

The Dream Team v. Rick Hunter & Paul Roma

Just like last week’s show, they’re testing out new camera angles here, shooting Beefcake and Valentine from below with the handheld so they can do closeups during the ring introductions. Our inset promo is from the Killer Bees, who plan to use the Dream Team as stepping stones to the tag team titles. Beefcake puts the boots to Hunter on the ropes, so Roma comes in and Beefcake throws him around with some good takedowns. Hammer works the arm, but Hunter comes in to break up and throws a nice knee on Valentine. But then he runs into a shot from Beefcake in the corner, and Valentine hits him with a shoulderbreaker and finishes him off with the figure-four at 3:00.

The Flower Shop with special guest Cowboy Bob Orton. Adonis is still pissed off about JYD wrecking his flowers last week, so he hires the Ace to be his new bodyguard and protect him from ruffians like JYD in the future. And Orton brags that he’s making tons of money now from Adonis, compared to the “macadamia nuts” he was making with his previous employer. Hold on, I thought Orton was already employed as a bodyguard? That might be awkward in the near future.

Junkyard Dog & George Steele v. Jim Haley & Iron Mike Sharpe

Dog quickly Thumps Haley at 0:30.

Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff v. Corporal Kirchner & Tony Garea

So yes, Freddie Blassie announces that he’s sold half of the contracts, for more money than any wrestling promoter in history, to his new co-manager: THE DOCTOR OF STYLE, SLICK! They quickly phased Blassie out to get him off the road, as it turned out. Kirchner, who gets an entrance and everything, storms the ring and attacks the Shiek, but misses an elbow and walks into a clothesline. Slick immediately earns his keep, distracting the ref and Garea while Sheik chokes out the Corporal on the ropes and drops him on the top rope. Over to Garea, who runs wild on the Sheik and cradles for two, but Volkoff rolls them over and puts Sheik on top for the pin at 2:52.

NEXT WEEK: It’s the final Championship Wrestling taping, starting with the debut of the Machines!