The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 07.26.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 07.26.86

Originally written 01.26.86

It’s a new era for the WWF! The era of MR. WONDERFUL-MANIA!

Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY on 07.15.86, in the second-to-last Championship Wrestling taping. And we’re got a couple of debuts, one of which will make one specific person very excited.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino

The British Bulldogs v. Tiger Chung Lee & AJ Petruzzi

I find it interesting in retrospect how huge the Bulldogs were to my childhood fandom, but really they didn’t have a lot of big feuds for most of their title reign. So now the Mid-Hudson Civic Center is FULLY lit up, prepping for the smooth transition to Superstars. Davey manages to get caught in the corner and double-teamed, but AJ misses an elbow and Kid comes in with a clothesline and snap suplex before dropping a fist on him. Meanwhile, Vince and Bruno discuss Orndroff giving Hogan his just desserts last week, and the Bulldogs finish with the diving headbutt off Davey’s shoulders at 2:40.

UPDATE! WITH…KILLER KEN RESNICK?

No Mean Gene this week, as Ken interviews corrupt old Jack Tunney, who clarifies Andre the Giant’s suspension after he no-showed his match and then no-showed his hearing. He’s very confused about why Andre would do that, but Bobby Heenan barges in and claims that Andre is calling himself “The Giant Machine”. Tunney notes that if Bobby can proof it’s Andre, he’ll be suspended FOR LIFE. But it might be Giant Baba.

The Magnificent Muraco v. Mario Mancini

Muraco slams Mario down but gets distracted by the “Beach Bum” chants, and then gets it together and beats Mancini down. Meanwhile, we get an inset poem from Lanny Poffo, who calls Muraco fat and Fuji devious. Both fair criticisms at this point. Muraco sends the geek out of the ring and drops him on the railing, and then goes TRANQUILO in the ring for a bit. Powerslam gets two, but he picks Mancini up, clobbers him down again, and then finishes with the tombstone at 3:00.

The Rebel Dick Slater v. The Gladiator

Slater waving a Confederate flag LITERALLY IN NEW YORK, and using “Dixie” as his entrance music, and supposedly being a babyface, is hilarious miscalculation on an epic scale. They trade takedowns and Slater throws chops and a headbutt in the corner. He goes to a facelock, and then goes up with an elbow from the top and finishes with a legsweep at 2:11 before getting booed out of the building by the yankee fans. Amazing. 10/10, no notes. And he stuck around for like a year!

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers v. The Moondogs

We’re joined in progress for some reason, with the Rougeaus double-teaming Rex and chasing him out of the ring. Back in, Raymond tries a rollup and gets elbowed by Spot from the apron, and the Dogs work him over. Raymond comes back with a sunset flip on Rex for two, and a bodypress on Spot for two. Over to Jacques and he runs the Moondogs together and dropkicks Rex into the corner as it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA. And Raymond whips his brother into Spot with a flying bodypress for the pin at 3:12. Big reaction from the crowd for this one, and this was a much better WWF debut than Slater’s was.

The Flower Shop with Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff. He’s pissed off, and introduces his new manager, Bobby Heenan. And he basically tells the fans to fuck off and leaves.

Jake Roberts v. Tom Tatri

Jake hits the guy with some slams, NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT THRICE and follows with a kneelift. DDT finishes at 1:51.

Meanwhile, Killer Ken talks with the Machines, and Giant Machine denies being Andre. Ken: “Well I guess that answers the question then.”

Ricky Steamboat, King Tonga & Sivi Afi v. Steve Lombardi, Rusty Brooks & Mr. X

So now we’ve got Afi doing the fire dance gimmick and Steamboat is hauling that poor dragon around, so there’s a lot of stuff going on here. I feel like Afi’s fire gimmick is violating some safety rules. Also I’m shocked that we’re halfway into 1986 and still haven’t made it to the debut of the Islanders yet. The babyfaces get some slams on the jobbers, including a very impressive slam from Tonga on Rusty Brooks. Meanwhile, Freddie Blassie joins us on commentary, talking about the stock market, and he reveals that he’s in the process of selling the contracts of Sheik & Volkoff in two weeks. OH HO! I didn’t realize we were getting that debut already, too. Steamboat takes some punishment in the corner in the meantime, but Tonga bails him out and it’s back to Afi for a flying chop on Brooks. And the flying bodypress from Steamboat finishes at 3:30.

Next week: Hulk Hogan speaks! King Kong Bundy & Big John Studd! Probably some other stuff but the episode cuts off there.