The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 07.19.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 07.19.86

Originally written 01.18.26

And we have reached the episode that still lives rent free of the heads of all us old cynical wrestling nerds to this day!

Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY on 06.24.86. Yes, Hulk Hogan works TWO MATCHES in one taping! Probably demanded a double payoff.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino

Randy Savage v. Eric Cooper

Macho hangs the geek in the corner and puts the boots to him before bending his neck backwards and yanking him down. I know I say this frequently now, but the arena is getting significantly brighter as we get closer to the Superstars changeover. Also we get an inset promo from Captain Lou about Savage’s mistreatment of his woman. Macho necks the guy on the top rope, slams him, hits a double axehandle and then finishes with the big elbow at 2:20, OH YEAH. Also some little kid at ringside has a sign that shows obvious disrespect to the Macho Man, so he tears it up to teach her a lesson. She’ll thank him later.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE!

Once again, Gene brings up the Machines, from Sapporo and Foo You Too, and we get footage from Japan of them beating up some Japanese guy. “You gotta like the commentary” notes Gene. And then some guy walks by in the background, trying to get a mask off.

Danny Spivey & Mike Rotundo v. Gino Carabello & Al Navarro

OK so now they’re right into the tag team deal, and Fink introduces them as “The American Express”, complete with matching stars and stripes themed gear and a flag. To share. One flag each would be way too much to eat alone. They double-team Carabello to start, with Rotundo taking him down with a flying headscissors before going to a headlock. Gino with a single-leg, but Mike hits him with an enzuigiri and it’s over to Navarro. Rotundo beats on him with forearms and they double-team the arm before Spivey puts him down with a back elbow. Back to Rotundo with a dropkick, and he whips Navarro into a flying bodypress from Spivey for two. And it’s back to Rotundo for the airplane spin to finish at 2:44. Gotta say, they were rough to start as a team but they’re obviously working hard at getting their tag team chemistry down and this was a really good squash.

This week in 1986 commercials: Buy a Minaki 35MM camera for only $20! The pitchman admits that they’re losing money on it, but it’s just as good as the $300 point and shoot that has a better brand name. I mean, I started in camera sales only about a decade after this show aired and I’ve never heard of that brand before, so I’m skeptical of those claims. Also it’s apparently got an F6.8 fixed focus lens, so good luck actually taking pictures outside of a bright summer day. These days I have to explain to my daughter what “negatives” are for and it ages me 10 years every time.

Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff v. Jimmy Jackson & Don Driggers

The Shiek backdrops Driggers and it’s over to Volkoff while we get an inset promo from Corporal Kirchner, who declares himself “Corporal Punishment” as the endless feud with these guys drags on. Volkoff with the press backbreaker and then Sheiky Baby hits Jackson with a SICK backdrop driver and finishes with the camel clutch at 3:10, humbling and breaking his back.

King Tonga & Sivi Afi v. Lane Anderson & Gary Semones

I guess this is like a proto-Islanders team. The drop-in from Fink here advertises the August 5 Poughkeepsie show, which would end up being the final Championship Wrestling taping. Afi hits Lane with a dropkick and it’s over to Tonga, who hiptosses Afi onto Anderson. Afi drops an elbow and Tonga brings Semones in for more punishment and then wants Anderson back. Tonga with the thrust kick and big splash to finish at 2:48.

The Flower Shop with special guest Hercules. Adrian confirms that he is indeed the “real” Hercules, who was born on Mount Olympus and parties with Zeus.

Hulk Hogan & Paul Orndorff v. Big John Studd & King Kong Bundy

Before the match, we get some footage of Hulk trying to talk sense into Orndorff. Forget the miscommunication! Forget the phone calls! Orndorff doesn’t seem convince, probably because Hogan is a gaslighting son of a bitch. A moody Wonderful stalks up the aisle while Hogan pushes him aside and happily poses, and then Paul decides he wants to start and asks Hogan to step aside. Orndorff slugs away on Studd to start and then hits him with a sunset flip for one. Looked like he was going for a destroyer there. The man can do anything! He’s truly wonderful. Over to Bundy, who beats on Orndorff with elbows, but misses the big splash and Avalanche, allowing Orndorff to chase him back to the corner. Back to Studd, so Paul dropkicks him and chases him out of the ring, before letting Hogan have a go now that he’s softened up the Heenan Family. Hulk immediately slams Studd, stealing Orndorff’s thunder as we take a break. Back with Hulk hitting Studd with an atomic drop and following with the corner clothesline, but he misses a charge and gets beat down like a geek. The heels with a double clothesline, which would NOT be happening if Mr. Wonderful was in there instead of Chump Hogan, and in fact Hulk fights bakc and “accidentally” knocks Orndorff off the apron to make sure he can’t come in and save. The heels double-team Hogan until finally Paul has to save with a DQ around the 7:00 mark. And then Paul picks him up, raises his hand in victory, and CLOTHESLINES HIS ASS. And then it’s KICK WHAM PILEDRIVER and Hulk learns a lesson about answering his phone in the most painful way possible.

Afterwards, while Hogan cries in pain in the ring, the Heenan Family takes Paul back to the dressing room for the celebration, showering him with the love and appreciation that he was asking for from his “best friend” all along and never got.

We’re really rolling now and next week we’re into the home stretch of Championship Wrestling before the big changeover.