The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 06.28.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 06.28.86

Originally written 01.01.26

The relentless march of content on WWE Vault continues, as I’ve got the Megapowers story and Roddy Piper Mixtape on my Watch Later list for when I get a free afternoon.

We’re getting closer to big stuff now!

Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY on 06.03.86

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino

Danny Spivey & Mike Rotundo v. The Gladiator & Tiger Chung Lee

Gladiator works a headlock on Mike to start, but Spivey comes in and puts him down with a back elbow. Over to Lee and Spivey criss-crosses with him into a dropkick, and it’s back to Gladiator as we get an inset promo from the Dream Team. Double dropkick from Spivey & Rotundo and a double backdrop as they’re actually starting to show some tag team chops, and Spivey finishes Gladiator with a bulldog at 3:30.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

Gene feels like it would be a miracle if Randy Savage could retain his Intercontinental title for the long term, given pressure from challengers like JYD and Mr. Wonderful. Not to mention George Steele, which makes Gene ponder the thought of Steele and Elizabeth having babies together.

Magnificent Muraco v. Bob Boyer

Muraco takes him down and works the arm to start before putting the boots to him and catapulting him under the ropes. Boyer gets tossed to the floor, which prompts Vince to call him “a game man”, although it SOUNDS like a much different description. Meanwhile Vince has an update on Andre the Giant, who has apparently been spotted outside of the country, although no one is sure if it’s actually him. Seems like Andre would be a hard guy to mistake for someone else. Tombstone finishes at 3:30.

Meanwhile, we learn that the second annual King of the Ring is coming to Foxboro Stadium, and then we get one of those classic promos where they put a cage up in the background and the wrestlers do a promo from behind it, in this case the Dream Team. Now I wonder if that show was ever taped?

Tito Santana & Pedro Morales v. Lane Anderson & Al Navarro

Pedro works a headlock on Navarro and hits him with a slam while Vince and Bruno discuss tag team strategy, and how sometimes you get teams where one guy tries to hog all the glory while the other guy does all the work, and that never leads to long term success for the team. That sounds like FORESHADOWING. Over to Lane Anderson, who looks like the skinnier and paler member of the famous Anderson family, and Tito works his arm. His uncle Ole would be so ashamed. Pedro slugs away on Anderson and backdrops him, and Tito finishes with the flying forearm at 3:10.

Paul Orndorff v. Max Blue

Paul offers some poses before the match, and does the ear-cup to draw a reaction from the fans that would EMBARRASS Hulk Hogan if he heard how much bigger the pop was. But we know Hogan was too busy to watch anyone else’s match. Piledriver finishes at 1:40. Afterwards, Paul demands to be called The Old Mr. Wonderful, although Bruno is shocked at the tactics of Orndorff here. But everything is probably fine.

The Flower Shop with special guest Bobby Heenan, who gets a second chance after Hulk Hogan interrupted the last time. But this time Orndorff interrupts, and Bobby immediately quips “Oh, here comes Hulk Jr.” and demands to know why Paul won’t get Hulk to team up and face Studd and Bundy next week. Paul lets us know that all he has to do is go call Hulk, and Hulk will be right by his side! So he’s gonna go do it right now. Bobby is pretty sure Hulk isn’t gonna answer his phone.

Meanwhile, corrupt old Jack Tunney draws names for the King of the Ring tournament in Foxboro, with Hercules and Mike Rotundo getting first round byes. Then they draw Pedro Morales v. Cowboy Bob Orton, Nikolai Volkoff v. Danny Spivey, Junkyard Dog v. Paul Orndorff, Billy Jack Haynes v. Iron Sheik, George Steele v. Harley Race and Magnificent Muraco v. Rowdy Roddy Piper. Spoiler: A few of those matches didn’t end up happening, and the winner had a gimmick change as a result of his victory.

The British Bulldogs v. Jack Kruger & The Menace

Kid goes after Kruger’s arm, but gets hit with a neckbreaker for two. Kruger drops an elbow on him for two, but Kid hits him with a snap suplex and butterfly suplex. Meanwhile, we get an inset with Paul Orndorff trying to get through to Hulk Hogan, who apparently isn’t answering his phone due to his workout regimen, and Paul isn’t happy about it. Over to the Menace, who puts Kid down with a back elbow, but Davey comes in with a chinlock and teases an unmasking before Menace runs to the floor to escape. Back in, Davey goes for the mask again as Bruno is sure that if Hogan has no previous commitments, he’ll 100% be there to help Orndorff. Smith with a suplex on the Menace, and then Dynamite hits him with a back suplex off the top and pins him at 4:41.

And we finish with Paul Orndorff returning to tell Vince and Bruno that Hulk won’t answer his phone, so THERE’S NO MATCH. Bruno is pretty sure Hulk will get the message from his people and call Paul back. But next week we’ve still got Ricky Steamboat and JYD and some other stuff!