The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 06.14.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 06.14.86

Originally written 12.15.25

I’m weak, I admit it.

Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY on 06.03.86. The arena is notably more well-lit for this taping, as we creep closer to the total overhaul of the show into WWF Superstars.

Your hosts are Bruno Sammartino & Vince McMahon. Ricky Steamboat quickly interrupts their opening and he’s got a bag of…something…for Jake Roberts.

George Steele & Corporal Kirchner v. Max Blue & Les Thornton

Yup, it’s another weirdly random tag team combination. Kirchner misses an elbow on Thornton and it’s over to Max Blue, but George rubs turnbuckle stuffing in his face and allows Kirchner to take over with a kneedrop. Steele uses a body vice and then lets go immediately, and Kirchner finishes with the samoan drop at 3:43. This was a really weird squash match and SURPRISE, these two didn’t gel whatsoever.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

Andre won the battle royal at WM2, but little did he know it would be his LAST MATCH in the WWF, due to his suspension at the hands of drunk old Jack Tunney. So let’s go back to Wrestlemania and watch 15 seconds of action from that. Gene has a message for Tunney about see no evil, hear no evil. And then someone swings a rubber chicken into the shot and Gene notes “I’m gonna choke this chicken”.

Randy Savage v. Jerry Monti

More hurtful signage from the crowds, as someone in the front row declares that he’s “Intercontinental CHUMP”, which is easily disprovable slander. Also another sign notes “Adonis loves Savage”. WELL WHO DOESN’T? Monti gets a pair of armdrags and celebrates like he’s won something, but Savage necks him on the top rope and powerslams him before dropping a knee. Flying elbow finishes at 1:20.

Ricky Steamboat v. Jack Kruger

So as noted earlier, Steamboat has a bag with him. Could be anything, even a boat! Even more notably, Finkel shills for a show in Woburn MA, at the local ice rink, featuring “lady wrestlers, strongman Ted Arcidi and Cowboy Bob Orton” as the card, and here’s hoping thehistoryofwwe.com doesn’t let me down!

WWF @ Woburn, MA – O’Brien Ice Rink – June 22, 1986
Benefit card
David Sammartino defeated Iron Mike Sharpe
Lanny Poffo defeated Rene Goulet
Jim Powers (sub. for Ted Arcidi) defeated Terry Gibbs
Velvet McIntyre defeated Penny Mitchell
George Steele defeated Bob Orton Jr. via count-out
Cousin Luke defeated Les Thornton

Oh man, that’s the good stuff. Kids today with their $4000 ringside seats and John Cena retirement matches don’t know how good they’ve got it.

Kruger slams Steamboat and goes to the top for a kneedrop, which actually gets two, so he goes up and tries it again, but Steamboat slams him off the top and runs him into the turnbuckle, sending him flying over the top rope and to the floor, which reveals that something in the mystery bag is moving. Back in the ring, Steamboat with an atomic drop into a belly to belly, and he finishes with a flying bodypress at 2:25. For a nothing squash this was kind of a good match, actually. Kruger, for those who don’t remember him, went on to be more well known as a grumpy referee after taking a splash from Kamala and retiring. We don’t find out what’s in the bag yet, though.

The Dream Team v. Ricky Thompson & Mike Lucca

“Beefcake’s Favorite Pastime is Trying on New Armwear” notes a sign at ringside. He does own a lot of gloves. The heels double-team Thompson and Beefcake gets a suplex, while we get an inset promo from the British Bulldogs, which is an addition to the show that became more regular with the move to Superstars. Thompson tries to slug back on Beefcake and gets nowhere with that, and Beefcake puts him down with the high knee at 2:55.

The Flower Shop with special guest Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff. Adrian notes that Paul is taking a backseat to Hulk Hogan at the moment, and Paul gets all fired up about that, but Adrian notes that Hulk sells more dolls and posters. Also when they team up, Paul does 90% of the work and then Hulk comes in and gets the win and all the glory. SO WHAT IF HE SELLS MORE DOLLS? Paul is confident that Hulk Hogan is his friend and this stuff doesn’t matter. So yeah, with no exaggeration whatsoever, this was the official kickoff of one of the biggest angles in the history of pro wrestling and we are off and running!

Jake Roberts v. Don Driggers

Driggers manages a dropkick, so Jake retreats for advice from his snake and then gets a shot in the corner before slugging him down a few times. Short arm clothesline and DDT finish at 2:00. But then, PLOT TWIST, Ricky Steamboat hits the ring with HIS bag, and we discover that he’s packing a komodo dragon, prompting Jake to do a comical oversell and run away in terror. This of course didn’t last long because those kinds of lizards don’t deal well with arena temperatures and they had to abort that idea.

Meanwhile, Leaping Lanny Poffo speaks out against drunk driving.

Big John Studd v. Jim Powers & Ricky Hunter

Another big one, as Studd offers the two jobbers a chance to earn $15,000 for a bodyslam, but King Tonga interrupts and HE wants a shot at that action. Heenan clarifies that Studd will only entertain TWO slam attempts per night, and Tonga has to wait his turn. So Hunter tries first and can’t even budge Studd, while Bobby just counts his money on the floor. Next up, Powers kind of gets Studd off the mat, but John shifts his center of gravity and won’t go up. And then Studd has had enough and beats Powers down before slamming both geeks. Powers gets a dropkick and tries another slam, but Studd cuts him off again and tosses him to the floor. And then one more slam for Hunter and it’s over at 2:15. So with the match over, King Tonga runs in and effortlessly picks up Studd, walks him around the ring, and SLAMS HIM as the crowd goes apeshit. Vince isn’t sure it was an official slam, but Tonga dances to celebrate anyway.

Next week: JYD! Killer Bees! Hercules! Billy Jack Haynes! The Hart Foundation! MANY MANY MORE!

WE’RE ON THE ROAD TO BIG THINGS NOW! The last few weeks had felt a tad directionless but we’re about to get a big direction.