The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 05.24.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 05.24.86

Originally written 11.23.25

Bloggie Mike Mears writes…

“One of my best friends, and a longtime broadcasting cohort of his, have started a new podcast, called Elite Heat.

Imma be real with you here: I have not, myself, listened to it as of this writing, as I just learned of its existence an hour or so ago. But I’m still sure it’s excellent, being familiar with their work.

So give it a listen! Maybe I, myself, will have also done so by the time you do.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/elite-heat/id1855339099”

I appreciate you being real with us.

Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY, on 05.13.86

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino

Danny Spivey & Mike Rotunda v. Steve Lombardi & Paul Christy

OK, so this is the TV debut of the new and definitely not improved US Express, with Spivey now filling the Windham role. Although given Spivey had been teaming with Kirchner for weeks, you could argue that Rotunda was replacing HIM. Also they’re using my pet peeve, “Born in the USA” by Bruce Springsteen, which is actually 100% the opposite of a patriotic song. The babyfaces double-team Lombardi and Spivey gets a slam, but he misses an elbowdrop and it’s over to Christy. The babyfaces hit him with a double dropkick and Rotunda sends him into the corner, before Spivey follows with a back elbow. Rotunda does a screwed up move where he whips Spivey into Christy with a bodypress, and it goes completely sideways, so they do it again and mostly get it right this time. Rotunda with an airplane spin and he slingshots Spivey onto Christy with a splash for the pin at 4:00. These guys had ZERO chemistry.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

Oh we’re eating good now! Thankfully we have moved past the Lord Alfred era and into the era we all know and love. So Gene jokes about King Kong Bundy’s baldness, and I’m glad wrestling has moved past that sort of lowbrow humor, and we get highlights of WM2. And then some guy runs behind him with a broom and we’re out.

Handsome Harley Race v. Bert Centino

Race makes his debut, not yet a regent, and hits Centino with a back suplex before dropping a knee on him and tossing him. Back in the ring, Centino tries some forearms, and Race just brushes him off and hits a neckbreaker before dropping a knee on him and then a shoulderbreaker. Piledriver and he drops an elbow, and then finishes with a SLINGSHOT BRAINBUSTER at 3:00. Goddamn! Interestingly Bruno acknowledges that Race has been around the business for a long time and they have some history together. Also Bruno is jealous of his hair.

Ricky Steamboat v. Ron Shaw

Steamboat gets a powerslam and tosses Shaw. Back in for some chops and kicks as the voiceover from Finkel puts over a show at a high school gym in Massachusetts, which I unfortunately can’t results for but it DID feature “Cagey wrestler Iron Mike Sharpe” in the main event on a night with three other house shows at the same time. Steamboat finishes with the flying bodypress at 2:48 while Vince warns us not to try these maneuvers at home. Yeah well Ricky probably shouldn’t even have tried taking the concrete floor DDT on TV, so he’s not one to talk.

Meanwhile, Vince points out some kids at ringside, who will apparently be competing in the “Olympics of the Mind” in Flagstaff AZ this Friday. Is that like where you just imagine competing in the shotput?

The Dream Team v. Mike Saxon & George Wells

Wells gets a slam on Valentine while Bobby Heenan joins us and announces that Andre the Giant has been SUSPENDED by Jack Tunney! Beefcake comes in and Wells gives him a clothesline and they do a horrible takedown, and it’s over to Saxon. Valentine beats him down and Bruno is like “Maybe Wells should have picked a better partner” and then the Hammer finishes with a figure-four at 2:30. Point taken.

The Flower Shop with special guests Mr. Fuji and Don Muraco. Muraco is just delighted to be there and brings flowers for Adrian, who is as vicious as they are. Adrian and Muraco discuss “Mr. Awful” and “Hulk Hooligan”, the man who “wears rags around his head and then tears them off”. Fuji Vice promises an investigation into this.

Meanwhile, from Saturday Night’s Main Event, Mean Gene sits down with Hulk Hogan, and we get the debut of Real American. Still a banger.

The Killer Bees v. Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff

Once again the Bees do the thing where they wear the masks to the ring and then take them off when the match starts. They work on Volkoff’s arm and double-team him, and Brunzell gets a sunset flip for two. Sheik breaks it up and the heels double-team him in the corner to take over. Sheik clubs him with a clothesline and SPITS ON HIM, HOCK PTOOEY! Volkoff with the facelock to cut off the tag, and Sheik gives Jim a curly toed boot to the gut. So Brunzell runs away and the Bees don the masks, with Blair clearly swapping in without a tag, and they trade adominal stretches on the Sheik as a result. Volkoff breaks it up and they do a sleeper and switch off behind the ref’s back on that as well. Blair with a dropkick for two and Volkoff pulls out the Sheik so they can figure out how to deal with this blatant cheating, and they stay out too long and get counted out at 4:50. Silly but fun match with SUPER heat.

NEXT WEEK: Mr. Wonderful! Jake Roberts! George Steele! Corporal Kirchner! Muraco & Orton! The Funks! Tito & Pedro!

I don’t want to overstate it but around this time George Scott gets fired as booker and Vince McMahon steps in to do it himself with a TON of ideas and you can feel the change in the show starting.