The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 05.10.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 05.10.86

Originally written 11.11.25

I think we may have come to the end of the archive posts, actually.

Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino

Junkyard Dog & George Steele v. Mike Angelo & Tiger Chung Lee

Vince describes the Haiti Kid hanging out here as an “adoption situation”, which raises some very uncomfortable questions. George chases Tiger around the ring and Dog finishes Angelo with the Thump at 1:30. And then Angelo just lays there for a couple of minutes while the faces stare down Lee in the corner in a weird moment.

Terry Jimmy Jack & Hoss Funk v. Andre Melo & Dan King

Jimmy is clearly styled to look like Terry here, with the exception of the Lone Ranger mask. Really if they wanted a Terry Funk clone, they could have gotten Dick Slater to play the part. That’s a 100% original idea from me, by the way. Jimmy chokes out King on the ropes and Hoss comes in with the uppercuts and tosses him for some punishment from Jimmy Jack out there. Back in the ring, Jimmy Jack finishes King with a powerslam at 3:00.

Meanwhile, KILLER KEN RESNICK debuts from the AWA as the new guy interviewing people for the event center. In this case, talking to Jake Roberts about a match with Ricky Steamboat in St. Louis.

The Killer Bees v. Iron Mike Sharpe & Joe Mirto

The Bees are already masked for some reason, but take them off to start the match. Sharpe works on a headlock while Vince confuses Blair and Brunzell, but the Bees take Mike to the floor with a pair of flying headscissors. Meanwhile Bobby Heenan joins us on commentary with an update on the investigation of Andre’s no-show. No report yet, but action is forthcoming from Jack Tunney. Well anyone expecting action from Tunney is gonna be waiting a long time. Blair finishes Mirto with a powerslam at 2:38 in the meantime.

Randy Savage v. Serge Jodoin

Savage has interesting blue trunks tonight, which I’ve never seen him use before. Savage offers some handshakes, and then hits the geek with a snap suplex and he drops the big elbow at 2:08. The kid could have avoided a lot of pain if he just shook Macho’s hand.

The Flower Shop with special guest The Dream Team. They complain about Ozzy Osbourne interfering at Wrestlemania 2, and Adonis notes he’ll give them flowers when they win the titles back soon.

UPDATE! WITH LORD ALFRED HAYES!

We take you back to Saturday Night’s Main Event on NBC, as Steamboat faces Jake the Snake and ends up taking a DDT on the floor as a result. And there’s you house show feud for the next six months! That sick thump on the concrete is still terrifying. They probably should have put some pretty blue mats down there. Back in the dressing room, the doctors are tending to Ricky, and he can’t remember anything that happened. This is apparently a “mild concussion”. I’d hate to see their idea of full blown CTE.

The Iron Sheik v. Corporal Kirchner

Some guy at ringside has a sign that just says “Geek”, which probably hits too close to home for Kirchner. Kirchner runs wild with backdrops while Volkoff appears at ringside waving the Russian flag. Naturally the Corporal is all distracted like a bull with a red cape, allowing Sheik to backdrop him and take over. Sheik with an abdominal stretch, but Kirchner powers out and then misses an elbow. Sheik chokes him out on the ropes with helps from Freddie and tosses him to the floor while Blassie calls him a “yellow dog”. I think that’s another guy. Kirchner with a sunset flip for two, but Sheik hits him with the loaded boot for two. “Kirchner not the most accomplished wrestler, scientific wise” notes Vince. I kind of love Vince’s ongoing backhanded burial of the guy week after week. Corporal comes back with the samoan drop for two, and Volkoff runs in for the DQ at 4:22. They were having a total decent match, actually. The Bees save Kirchner from a heel beatdown afterwards.

NEXT WEEK: The British Bulldogs v. Big John Studd & King Kong Bundy!