The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 03.15.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 03.15.86

Originally written 09.22.25

Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY, on 02.18.86

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino

Adorable Adrian Adonis v. Ted Gripley

My god the heat for this gimmick is incredible. Adonis attacks Gripley in the corner and drops an elbow on him, and then tosses him to the floor and slams him out there. So obviously Adonis was kind of channelling Adrian Street early on with the gimmick, where he minced around the ring and then turned into a vicious brawler in the ring. However, as it progressed, he kind of regressed into a Gorgeous George type instead. Gripley fires up and slaps him, but Adonis hits him with an elbow and chokes him on the ropes while Vince is DISGUSTED by Adonis. “Look at him there, everything just slopping around!” Adonis finishes with a DDT, which Vince dubs “the Graham Cracker”, but of course the impending debut of Jake Roberts would end that as his finisher. The sleeper was a better finish anyway. Also fans have some VERY problematic signs.

UPDATE! WITH LORD ALFRED HAYES!

Yes, it’s going to be an open invitational battle royal at Wrestlemania 2, featuring football boys and assorted wrestlers who weren’t doing anything else on the show.

The Killer Bees v. Bob Bradley & Mr. X

Not sure if I’m mentioned, but someone sent me a video reel thing with Danny Davis unboxing his new figure, and he’s apparently turned into The Dude at this stage of his life. Brunzell works a headlock on Bradley and switches off with Blair while taunting Mr. X, so X comes into the ring to protest and Brunzell takes him down with a headscissors while still holding the headlock. No wonder Davis was so biased against the babyfaces, with dick moves like that. Blair with a monkey flip out of the corner on Bradley and he gets a victory roll for two, but X breaks it up. Brunzell with a high knee and Blair comes in with the abdominal stretch and then rolls Bradley up for the pin at 3:15. Sadly, X was NOT gonna give it to us in this instance, because he was never able to tag in.

Meanwhile, Mean Gene is very excited about this three location deal for Wrestlemania 2, and he brings out the British Bulldogs, who are challenging the Dream Team for the tag team titles with two referees. Better hope one of them isn’t Danny Davis.

George Steele & Uncle Elmer v. Joe Mirto & Les Thornton

Let the record show that if the rapture happens later today like some guy on TikTok says, the last wrestling show I ever watched before ascending to the gates of Heaven featured GEORGE STEELE AND UNCLE ELMER as a tag team. Nah, we know I’m not getting raptured, I break out in hives just thinking of holy water. Elmer uses his enormous girth on Thornton but gets caught in the corner, allowing the heels to double-team him for a bit before the Animal makes the save. Over to Mirto, but George comes in and puts him away with the flying hammerlock at 2:10. That’s a viciously badass finisher for a comedy character.

Meanwhile, Gene chats with Hulk Hogan. Don’t fucking care.

Randy Savage v. Tony Stetson

Now THIS GUY I care about. Savage’s first TV appearance as Intercontinental champion, and he blitzes Stetson, drops the elbow on him, and pins him at 0:20. OH YEAH. My wife is planning on going as Savage for Halloween and I’m in my glory finding her reference photos and coaching her on mannerisms and promos. MY LIFE HAS LED TO THIS MOMENT. Also she was like “Can I wear my Macho Man Randy Savage shirt if I’m playing Macho Man Randy Savage?” and I had to explain to her that 92% of wrestler wardrobes is wearing their own t-shirts. Anyway, speaking of love stories, George Steele brings out flowers for Miss Elizabeth, but Savage very reasonably kicks his ass and takes Liz back to the dressing room.

Piper’s Pit with special guest the Dream Team. Piper has a pair of ladies who wanted to meet the champions, but the Dream Team is very hot and bothered by the British Bulldogs and can’t even concentrate on the women throwing themselves at them.

WRESTLEMANIA 2 REPORT! WITH JESSE VENTURA!

We get a press conference from Rowdy Roddy Piper, as he talks shit about Mr. T and Joe Frazier. So then we get T’s reponse from Los Angeles, and he’s carrying a rubber chicken that’s wearing a skirt and he calls it Roddy Piper. That’s slander. HE WEARS A KILT!

The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff v. Leaping Lanny Poffo & Jim Powers

Corporal Kirchner does a walk-on with the flag, kind of overshadowing Poffo’s poem, as Lanny does a “love it or leave it” deal and Sheik kicks his ass. Hey, Lanny had that one coming. Volkoff yanks off Poffo’s jacket and hits him with a knee to the gut, but Poffo fires up and slugs back and it’s over to Powers. But Volkoff runs him into Sheik’s pointy boot to cut that comeback off, and Sheik follows with a backdrop. Powers tries to fight back and Sheik hits him with a gut wrench before Volkoff cradles for two and drops him on the top rope. Sheik with a WICKED backdrop driver and he finishes with the camel clutch, making Powers humble, at 2:52. Great asskicking taken by the babyfaces here.

And we get a promo from Randy Savage about Wrestlemania 2, and wrap it up for the week!

A very fun episode this week as they’re finally heating up Wrestlemania and have a clear focus towards that show.