The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 03.03.84

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 03.03.84

Back to 84 WWF again, although I’m dropping the Chase stuff and just sticking with the main show to speed things up a little bit more. Most of the happenings are covered here anyway.

Taped from Allentown, PA

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Mean Gene

“Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff v. Rocco Verona

Orndorff has a rare red outfit here, and he hits Verona with a butterfly suplex before putting him down with a back elbow. Paul sends him to the floor and we get a…unique camera angle, shot from behind Piper’s legs and almost an upskirt shot. Japanese cameraman, perhaps? Back in the ring, Orndorff lays out the jobber again with a clothesline and then finishes with the piledriver at 2:30. He just crushed that dude with it.

Tito Santana v. Israel Matia

We’re finally at a taping far enough removed from the title change that Tito now has the belt and gets introduced as the champion in the arena. Tito slugs away on Israel and takes him down with an armbar, while Finkel shills the latest main event in LA: Hulk Hogan defending the title against Dr. D! I’ve only seen one match between them and it was a pretty good one and it’s too bad Schultz wrecked his career and never got a longer run. Matia slugs away in the corner, but Tito goes up with a rare middle rope flying forearm and that finishes at 2:00. Oh that was cool, wonder why he never did it again?

Greg Valentine v. Jose Luis Rivera

Rivera’s undefeated streak is on the line here and I don’t like his chances. Valentine hits him with a gutbuster and tosses him to the floor, where Albano helps him back in for some chops from the Hammer. They slug it out and Rivera gets a dropkick, but he misses a blind charge and takes an upside down bump onto his own knee, allowing Greg to go to work on it. And the figure-four finishes at 2:25. Man it’s just Goldberg and Nash all over again with a business-changing win streak ruined for no reason. But then Valentine continues with the figure-four and does a nasty thing where he twists the ankle at the same time, and you’d think someone would come out and save this poor goober but NOPE. So Valentine finally releases the hold but then decides to beat on the leg again and really threaten the career of this youngster before finally leaving.

Meanwhile, Mean Gene chats with Sgt. Slaughter about his impending match against the Masked Superstar in LA, and Dr. D is coming to beat Hulk Hogan like a red headed stepchild. “Quit hitting me, I know I don’t have much time!” Also Tito will defend the IC title against Paul Orndorff. I’d buy a ticket to that show, not gonna lie. And finally, Hulk Hogan has changed the name of the LA arena from the Olympic Auditorium to Hulkster’s Pit. Man, these arena names are getting out of hand.

MIDGET MADNESS! Sadly, this edit of the show cuts out the match after the intros. That’s a shame.

Also it cuts out Tito Santana on Piper’s Pit as well for some reason. OK that one legitimately is a shame.

Dr. D David Schultz v. Steve Lombardi

D puts Lombardi down with a back elbow and chokes him out on the ropes beiore hitting him with a backbreaker before teasing a tombstone and then just kind of dropping him. D with a pair of slams and he goes up with the flying elbow, then hits another one and dedicates it to Piper for the pin at 2:00. Jerry Sags was probably watching this and took it as a personal challenge to do an even worse version as a finisher. Afterwards, Dr. D continues making challenges to Hulk Hogan, who can only call himself a World champion because he’s never rassled Dr. D before. Also, David would like to clarify that Hulk is a dog, his daddy is a dog, and that makes him a son of a dog. And where he comes from, you get killed for calling someone that, so that also means Hogan is a COWARD for not coming out and answering. Can’t argue with that logic.

Tony Altas, Rocky Johnson & SD Jones v. Ron Butler, Goldie Rogers & Charlie Fulton

Butler gets headlocked by the babyfaces in their corner and Atlas backdrops him and adds a slam. Butler takes weird bumps, onto his hip like Flair does rather than flat back. Over to Fulton, who slugs away and discovers that Jones’ head is far too hard to be effective. So Goldie comes in and Vince again has to make the joke about how Goldie is no relation to Buddy Rogers. So Atlas splits the legs and they do the wishbone spot on Goldie. Atlas with a military press on Ron Butler to finish at 4:12.

B Brian Blair & Tony Garea v. Bill Dixon & Frankie Williams

Blair and Garea, the Charisma Express, work on Dixon’s arm, so it’s over Williams. Blair hits him with a dropkick and Garea actually submits this guy with an ABDOMINAL STRETCH at 2:50. Damn and that wasn’t even the low point for Frank’s career.

NEXT WEEK: SGT. SLAUGHTER v. RENE GOULET!

Shame about Rivera’s win streak. I’m sure he’ll get it together and pull off a string of wins again, though!