The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 02.25.84

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 02.25.84

Taped from Allentown, PA

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Mean Gene

Meanwhile, in Boston, we take you back to Tito Santana winning the Intercontinental title from Magnificent Muraco and get some highlights. Once again, this shoots down Tito’s claims of them “running out of film” that he put forth in his book, because there’s footage of the match and then footage of him holding up the belt after the match, but somehow the complete match doesn’t exist and is lost to history. Seems like it was a hell of a match, too. I bet it was the Deep State. They seem to be behind everything.

Tito Santana v. Goldie Rogers

With the updated graphics and improved lighting for the ring, it’s slowly starting to look more like the show it would become later. Now they just need to get rid of Joe McHugh and bring in Finkel. Andre the Giant makes an appearance to congratulate Tito on his title win, and Goldie wisely runs away after talking some smack to him. Also Goldie rules, although he somehow looks older here than he did when he was in Stampede years later. Tito works a headlock on Goldie, who Vince keeps calling “Roberts” before correcting himself, but Tito immediately hits a flying forearm and pins him at 1:30 before Vince can even make a joke about Goldie not being related to Buddy Rogers. Yeah but what about RIP Rogers?

Meanwhile, Mean Gene chats with Andre because he’s still hanging around the building, and he just wants us to know that he’s very happy in the WWF and he’ll be sticking around for a while longer. Vince notes that Andre is still undefeated but someday someone will be the first person to ever beat Andre. Yeah that was complete bullshit by 1984.

Dr. D David Schultz v. Rudy Diamond

Dr. D takes him down and works a facelock to start while Roddy offers advice and/or motivational speech. D with a slam for two, but then he picks him up and slams him harder before finishing with the flying elbow for the pin at 1:40.

Meanwhile, we take a look back at the high school wrestling career of Bob Backlund. Man Backlund working with Kurt Angle would have ruled. I can already picture Mr. Bob Backlund doing a crazy promo and then Kurt giving him the meme face in response.

The Wild Samoans v. Salvatore Bellomo, Frankie Williams & Rocco Verona

This probably should have been a sign to Sal Bellomo that he wasn’t long for the new WWF world. Samu grabs a headlock on Williams to start, but Frankie comes back with a backdrop and brings Sal in. He hits the mule kick on Samu and then tags in Wiliams again for some reason, who somehow screws up an irish whip and falls over. So Samu DDTs him and they haul Verona in and murdalize him with a samoan drop from Sika at 2:27.

Meanwhile, Mean Gene talks about the LA show “tonight”, which happens to be March 10 in this case, so these tapes were being cycled around pretty late. Gene chats with Tony Garea, who is facing Roddy Piper, and he thinks that “RP” might stand for ROTTEN PERSON. I guess that’s a pretty sick burn in New Zealand. Also Mr. Fuji has a sword for Tito Santana. Gene: “Could you put that sword away, you’re making me nervous.” Fuji: “Hey, shut up, I’m trying to talk here.” And then Fuji goes on a whole deal about how all the Mexicans who live in LA are farmers who work as slaves for the rich white people. Also Hulk Hogan continues running wild and will be facing the Iron Sheik in the main event. WHAT ABOUT THE HOSTAGES, MEAN GENE? WHAT ABOUT THE GAS LINES, MEAN GENE? Hogan is considering keeping Sheik as a hostage and torturing him, brother. Well that seems like a bit of an overreaction.

Mr. Fuji & Tiger Chung Lee v. Steve Lombardi & Ken Jugan

Lombardi doesn’t fare too well to start and gets worked over in the corner, and then Lee brings Jugan in and hits a shoulderbreaker to finish at 0:53.

PIPER’S PIT with special guest The Masked Superstar. Piper gives the man props for never being unmasked by anyone, and Superstar says that the mask is his title and he does what he wants, and then he walks off to prove it.

The Iron Sheik v. Eddie Gilbert

The crowd really wants Slaughter, so Sheik takes young Eddie down and beats on him a bit to teach him that USA is not OK. Eddie fights back, but misses a crossbody out of the corner and Sheik finishes him off with the camel clutch at 1:45. So then Sheik spits on the young man, and Sgt. Slaughter storms the ring and chases Sheik off to make the save. So then Slaughter does a promo about how he’s got SCARS from bayonets in Vietnam, but he always fights back and now he’s declaring war on Sheik. And then he reads the Pledge of Allegiance to really cement himself as a babyface. Hey, America, on behalf of all the other countries of the world, that pledge shit is WEIRD. Just letting you know. We also don’t hang flags outside our houses, because it’s unlikely we’ll forget which country we’re in while we’re out at the store.

Ivan Putski v. Ron Shaw

Putski with the Polish Hammer to finish at 1:45.

Jose Luis Rivera v. Bill Dixon

I see the attempt to make something out of Rivera is still going two months into 1984. Vince lets us know that Tito Santana will be on Piper’s Pit next week and we’ve got MIDGET MADNESS to look forward to as well. Rivera works the arm, but Dixon gets a knee RIGHT IN THE BREAD BASKET to take over. He beats on Rivera on the ropes, but Rivera gives him a knee RIGHT IN THE MUSH and gets some dropkicks and a rollup to finish at 2:54. But next week, he has to face Greg Valentine and put his undefeated streak on the line. I don’t like his chances.

This show continues to rule.