The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 01.14.84

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 01.14.84

Oh man I am INTO this 1984 run.

For those who want to play along at home: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTP0s7JwUsGxPzU2qM-xjFYb3nZml_BIl

Taped from Allentown, PA

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Mean Gene

The TAG TEAM DREAM of Bob Backlund and Hulk Hogan join Mean Gene to start, and Hulkamania is apparently running wild. You know if they had produced a vaccine early a lot of damage could have been averted.

Bob Backlund & Hulk Hogan v. Mr. Fuji v. Tiger Chung Lee

Poor Bob was teaming with the guy who was about to destroy his career. There could have been a fascinating story there but he didn’t want to play along with it until a decade later. Fuji and Tiger double-team the arm of Hulk, but Hulk uses his Japanese armbar takedown that Twitter engagement farmers always post when they want to show Hulk’s UNDERRATED SKILZZZZZ. Like yeah, he could do a basic armbar takedown, good for him. Lee slugs away on Hulk with his karate, but Hulk does a mini-comeback and puts Lee down with an atomic drop for two. Over to Backlund, and Fuji goes to a nerve pinch on his shoulder. That would actually be painful given the storyline of Backlund losing the title. Fuji and Lee switch off on the arm for a bit, but it’s back to Hogan and he lays waste to the heels with a high knee on Fuj the Stooge and the legdrop to finish Tiger Chung Lee at 4:35. Man they picked a pair of heels where Hulk could tower over them and look like a billion dollars. I’m not condoning it but I can see how people would be into this guy.

Sgt. Slaughter v. Mike Dorsett

Sarge was still firmly a heel at this point and he immediately beats on Dorsett with clubbing forearms and a slam. Slaughter with a dropkick RIGHT IN THE MUSH and then slingshots him into the post, but the jobber fights back and rakes the face to get some offense on him. But then Slaughter suplexes him on the top rope and finishes with a Slaughter Cannon and cobra clutch at 4:00.

Jimmy Snuka v. Butcher Vachon

The Finkel voiceover is shilling something called “The WWF Magazine”, which apparently is now available. I’ll be dead in the cold ground before I ever give up my Victory Magazine subscription, consarnit! Odd to see Vachon used as a TV enhancement guy. Butcher attacks Snuka and beats on him in the corner while choking him out, but for some reason Snuka is familiar with the mechanics of choking and beating on people and counters out of it, before headbutting Vachon and finishing with the Superfly splash at 3:00.

VICTORY CORNER! WITH ROBERT DEBORD!

The guest this week is Dr. D, and he’s here for competition. So he was wandering the streets and drinking in the honky tonks, and in between looking for fights he decided he wanted a shot at the WWF title.

Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff v. Hercules Vasquez

Piper appears for the second week in a row as a manager, this time for Orndorff. Orndorff has a lengthy stall and tears up a poster of Jimmy Snuka, with Piper then doing an elaborate check of Orndorff’s gear to demonstrate how he’s not carrying any weapons. What a sportsman! Orndorff drops an elbow on Vasquez from the middle rope and then finishes him with the piledriver at 4:40. 99% of the match was Orndorff posing before the lockup. But damn dat piledriver tho.

Magnificent Muraco v. SD Jones

Muraco toys with Jones to start, but SD fires back and goes to a headlock. So Muraco gets sick of that shit and just slams him down and puts the boots to him before following with a kneelift. Jones makes another comeback, but he misses a charge and hits the corner, and Muraco hits him with the falling knee off the top. Jones with a cradle to counter a suplex, but Muraco wraps him up in a cradle of his own for the pin at 4:46.

Jose Luis Rivera v. Tony Colon

Rivera sends Colon to the floor off the lockup and controls with armdrags while Colon keeps stalling for time. Also Vince describes Hulk Hogan as “300 pounds of hunk” if you want to file that one away in your brain somewhere and then burn it. Rivera reverses a whip and gets a dropkick and a couple of sloppy fireman’s carry takedowns before finishing with an airplane spin at 3:10. Rivera was an OK underneath babyface on house shows but he stuck out like a sore thumb here on a show full of giant stars on the rise.

Next time: Back to Wrestling at the Chase as the journey through 1984 continues!