The SmarK Rant for WWE Vault presents The Best of Test!

The SmarK Rant for WWE Vault presents The Best of Test!

Originally written 03.03.26

I know there’s still like a Roddy Piper Mixtape and Coliseum Videos and stuff on there waiting to be reviewed, but gosh I was just drawn to the idea of someone trying to compile 90 minutes of ANDREW MARTIN highlights and by god I’m fascinated to see what these maniacs came up with.

https://youtu.be/lpBMnZCcYSg?si=WgA6j1VJIYCnnLhL

Greenwich Street Fight: Test v. Shane McMahon

Starting off with what we can call the definitive Test match, from Summerslam 99. It’s the final blowoff of Shane’s overprotective brother storyline, as Test has to leave Stephanie if he loses and Shane has to back off if HE loses. It’s also an interesting match because Shane was only known for the X-Pac feud in 1999 and there was no perception that he was able to have a good match on his own at this point in his career. The Mean Street Posse all join Shane at ringside while selling various injuries inflicted by Test, complete with awesome Hawaiian shirts and a couch that just happens to be set up for them. Test attacks at ringside, but Shane spears him in the ring and they slug it out. Test with a backdrop and they fight to the floor, where Test runs him into the stairs and powerslams him on the floor. The Posse gets in his face, so Test presses Shane onto them and they all fight in the crowd. “This Greenwich Street Fight is completely out of hand!” notes JR. Perish the thought. Unsurprisingly, fighting three guys at once goes badly for Test and Shane is able to find a mailbox and roadsign and beat on Test with them. Next up, a framed portrait of Shane and the Posse, which he smashes on Test’s head for two. THANK GOD that Test wasn’t wearing a baseball cap. Back in, Shane leapfrogs into a back elbow and tries a damn corkscrew moonsault, but that misses. Another leapfrog is caught by Test with a powerbomb for two, but Rodney was distracting the ref. Test’s big boot misses and takes out the ref, so Test clotheslines Shane to the floor and beats on him with the roadsign. So the Posse all attack and mug Test, putting him on the Spanish announce table, and Shane goes up and debuts the flying elbow through the table and both guys are dead. The Posse throws both guys back in the ring and Shane gets two off that, but Pete Gas runs in and hits Shane by mistake. Test with a big boot for two off that, but Joey Abs pulls Shane out to make the save. And that allows Rodney to knock out Test with his arm cast, and that gets two for Shane. Finally the Stooges can take no more and return to beat the shit out of the Posse, and Test boots Joey off the apron and hits the Meltdown on Shane, followed by a flying elbow to finish and win Stephanie at 12:10. Well that certainly ended up going badly for him. He should have swiped left in retrospect. This was clearly the match of the show, a crazy smoke and mirrors brawl to pay off the sad sack babyface storyline. ****

Test v. HHH

From RAW, 11.28.99, aka the Wedding Episode. The referee is wearing a Vince mask to build suspense. Test pounds away in the corner and gets a powerslam for two, but HHH USES THE KNEE to take over and drops a knee. They slug it out and HHH gets the Main Event Sleeper, but “Vince” slaps him around to wake him up. HHH DDTs him and goes low, however, and stomps away in the corner, but Test makes the thrilling comeback. Powerbomb and backdrop suplex set up the flying elbow, but HHH bails to escape it. They fight on the floor and HHH brings a chair into the ring, but “Vince” keeps that from happening. HHH uses the knee again, but the mystery ref won’t count. This prompts HHH to finally attack him, but Shane runs out and lays him out with the chair, allowing Test to finish with the flying elbow at 8:13. We don’t know who the mystery ref was, but as JR notes, it can’t legally have been Vince. Not exactly a great showcase of Test, but then HHH basically took all the offense anyway. *. And of course HHH got his revenge on Test by the end of the show.

WWF Hardcore title: Big Bossman v. Test

From RAW, 01.17.00. They immediately fight into the crowd and head backstage through the tunnel, as Bossman smashes a light with his nightstick, possibly to disguise an edit. So they quickly wind up in the bathroom and Test runs him into the stall doors, giving us a poop joke, before Bossman lowers a gate on Test to choke him out, and that gets two. Why raise the door before making the cover? Back to ringside, as Bossman finds a garbage can and beats on Test with that, and then Albert runs down and Bossman turns on him as well. Test is bleeding from the nose from somewhere earlier in the match, by the way. So back in the ring, Albert and Test team up to beat on Bossman, but Test dumps Albert, wallops Bossman with the nightstick, and goes up to drop a flying nightstick elbow to win the title at 4:00. Astonishingly, the Test & Albert stuff would actually go somewhere. Fun little match. **

Test & The Dudley Boyz v. Spike Dudley & APA

From Summerslam 2001, a show that I have little recollection of, outside of the Austin-Angle main event. Good lord, even just a year removed from the last match, Test is GIGANTIC by comparison. Faarooq beats on Bubba to start, but the Dudz hit a double-team neckbreaker on him and D-Von follows with the back elbow before walking into a spinebuster to pop the crowd. Over to Test, who gets double-teamed by the APA, but Bradshaw gets trapped in the heel corner and worked over. Bradshaw DDTs D-Von for two and brings in Spike as this match is going at an impressive pace so far, and Spike cradles D-Von a couple of times for two. But then Bubba sends him into the air and drops him on the top rope, with Spike taking a FLYING bump off that and the heels to work on him. Test with a spinebuster and the Dudleyz prepare the tables for no reason, but Spike reverses a slam from Test and gets two. Dudleyz come in and hit a double flapjack on Spike, and Spike again is like “How much hangtime CAN I reasonably get off this simple move?” and the answer is “all of it”. That gets two. He fights them off and gets the hot tag to Bradshaw, and he cleans house on Test with corner clotheslines before the APA hits Bubba with a double spinebuster. It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA and Bradshaw powerbombs Test for two before Bubba saves. But then Spike tries the bulldog on Test, and he gets HURLED through that table and he’s dead. Bradshaw goes to finish Test in the chaos, but Shane O Mac runs in, hits him with a chair, and puts Test on top for the pin at 7:25. This was ALL ACTION and super fun! ***1/4

Test v. Kane

From No Mercy 2001, as we near the end of the Invasion storyline. They immediately slug it out and Kane drops an elbow and hits Test with corner clotheslines and a powerslam for two. Kane hits him with a press slam to the floor and they brawl out there, where Test smashes him with the ringbell and Nick Patrick shrugs it off. Test puts the boots to Kane in the corner as they show a replay of Nick Patrick literally standing there and watching Test using the bell, but Paul Heyman on commentary is still skeptical of his viewing angle. Kane misses an elbow and Test goes up with an elbow for two as Test looks like he’s lacking in oxygen already. Maybe they’re wrestling at a high altitude, like the top of Everest or the International Space Station. Test with a sideslam and he goes up with the flying elbow, but that misses and Kane comes back with a neckbreaker. Kane with a big boot and backdrop suplex for two. Kane with a sideslam for two and he clotheslines Test to the floor again, but Test hits the BIG BOOT OF DEATH and gets two in the ring. But then Kane chokeslams him and gets two, which would give us SHOCKED TWO COUNT FACE if we could see Kane’s face. Kane with a powerslam and he goes up, but misses a clothesline and Test hits the pumphandle slam for two. And you KNOW we get some SHOCKED TWO COUNT FACE from Test off that. So he goes up and drops the flying elbow for two. Test is raging like he’s filled with some kind of anabolic substance that causes hormonal side effects, whatever that might be. So he grabs a chair and Kane kicks it back in his face, but Nick Patrick prevents Kane from using it. So that allows Test to hit his KICK OF FEAR and get the pin at 10:10. Tad overbooked but clearly the best Test v. Kane match of October 2001 by a wide margin. **

Intercontinental v. US title: Test v. Edge

From Survivor Series 2001. Man that US title was a nice design and it’s a shame that all the ones that WWE used from 2003 onwards were crap by comparison. They fight for the lockup to start and Edge slugs away and hits a bodypress for two. Test beats on him with some clubbing forearms and puts the boots to Edge before taking him to the floor and dropping him on the railing. Interestingly, for all the talk here about “dissolving the US title forever” after the match, they reintroduced the US a year later and now it’s been around for almost as long as the original title had been around at the time of this match. Anyway, Test slowly beats on Edge in the ring and goes to a chinlock. Edge fights out of that and they fight to the top rope, but Edge escapes the suplex and dropkicks Test on the way down. Test tries the pumphandle slam, but Edge reverses to the Edge O Matic for two. Test with a spear for two. Test sets up for the KICK OF FEAR and misses, but he hits the pumphandle slam on the rebound and gets two. Test tries a powerbomb and Edge counters with a rana and spears him for two. And they trade cradles and Edge rolls him up for the pin and both titles at 11:17. Good heat and decent action but man watching all these Test matches in a row really exposes how limited his moveset was. This gets my highest praise for a Test match: “I’ve seen worse”. ***

The Un-Americans & HHH v. The Rock, Undertaker, Goldust & Booker T

From RAW, 08.12.02. This was a pretty dire era for the show despite the star power on display. Goldust and Christian slug it out in the corner and Goldust hits a hip attack for two. Booker puts the boots to Storm and follows with a superkick for two. Rock comes in and tosses Storm before trying to get HHH into the match, but Storm attacks from behind and it’s gametime. Hunter beats on Rock in the corner and they botch the spot where Test hits a knee from the apron, mistiming Hunter’s big knee spot as a result. So it’s over to Booker and he gets worked over by the heels. Test beats on him in the corner and gets two and HHH does the melodramatic choke and follows with a suplex for two. Christian with a chinlock and Booker fights out of that, but Christian dropkicks him to cut him off and Test does his own chinlock. JR on the Un-Americans: “We don’t go to their backyard and disrespect them!” Oh what a difference 20 years makes. HHH with the MAIN EVENT SLEEPER, but Booker fights back with a sidekick and it’s hot tag Undertaker, who has been standing on the apron for the whole match. He naturally destroys everyone and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA , but Hunter goes low on Taker and clears the ring. Taker escapes the Pedigree and Rock cleans house now, and then hits Test with the Rock Bottom for two. Taker chokeslams more little guys and hits the Last Ride on Christian, but Test hits him with the KICK OF FEAR and pins him at 11:38 in a pretty big upset that led (checks notes) absolutely nowhere. Another good, all action tag match, however. ***1/2

Extreme Rules match: Rob Van Dam v. Test

Jumping ahead a lot now, to 10.03.06 on WWECW. Test is now in his tragic short hair phase, robbing Test of the one thing that helped make him look like a star. Now he just looks like every gym bro with a podcast. They fight to the floor and RVD suplexes him onto the apron and follows with a guillotine, but that misses and Rob hurts his leg on the way down. Test charges with the stairs and misses that, doing a goofy sell where he hits the post and falls backwards in a cartoon bump. Rob hits him with the rolling thunder on the stairs and sets up a table at ringside. Back in the ring, Rob does some flippy floppies and Test clotheslines him and then hits the big kick for two. He wedges chairs in both corners and he’s audibly gasping for air now, looking like an inflatable mattress where the air pump was left in too long. They fight to the apron and Rob gets a wildly out of control powerbomb through a table and we take a break. Back with Test dead on the floor, having barely hit the table on the way down to break his fall. This brings Paul Heyman down to ringside, allowing Test to kick Rob in the nuts and take over again. Test tosses him and the Heyman goons attack Rob and work him over out there. Man, watching masked faux-law enforcers brutalize someone hits a lot different these days. Back in the ring, Test runs RVD into one of the corner chairs and that gets two. Test with a bearhug and Rob escapes that and makes the comeback, hitting the leg lariat in the corner. He grabs a chair from the floor and comes back in with a chair dropkick in the corner, but Rolling Thunder misses and hits the chair. Test goes up with a flying chair elbow onto the chair on Rob, and that gets two. Test with a table in the corner, but Rob reverses a powerbomb into a sunset flip for two. Test lays him out again, but Rob goes up with a missile dropkick and Test kind of falls sideways onto the table, breaking it prematurely. But Rob puts Test on the table anyway and takes out the goons outside, before going up and getting pushed off by Big Show. So the table dies for real now, and Test finishes with a TKO at 17:18. Do you enjoy smoke? How about mirrors? Well I have the match for you! This was a rather glorious ode to the joys of stupidly excessive overbooking and easily Test’s best match that I can remember. Also one of his last notable ones before his very untimely death, sadly. But Rob Van Dam was determined to go out there and get that fucker over if he had to kill both of them trying. ****1/4

Thankfully they didn’t include any of the (numerous) examples of Test’s worst matches here, because there could have been a lot, and this is a pretty respectable cross-section of decent midcard matches and one certified banger to end the collection. I’d actually recommend checking out the ECW match if you haven’t seen it, which is likely.