The SmarK Rant for WWE Vault presents The Best of Bruiser Brody

The SmarK Rant for WWE Vault presents The Best of Bruiser Brody

The best of WHAT NOW?  Things I never thought I’d see on a WWE YouTube channel for $500, Alex. Well it’s Halloween night and Brody is a monster, so let’s give it a look.

https://youtu.be/2vXN4HZ9gZU?si=aenwkykJj5j2AXLH

I mean really the only downside is that it’s only 70 minutes long.  Let’s see what we’ve got.

NWA World title:  Harley Race v. Bruiser Brody (12.01.80)

From Texas Championship Wrestling, the promotion that became World Class, to start us out.  Race charges and Brody catches him in a bearhug, but Race slugs out of it.  Brody takes him down with a headlock next and we take a break.  Back with Race in control after a kneelift and he beats on Brody in the corner, and they brawl to the floor, where Race runs Brody into the door and the show runs out of time at 3:55 aired.  What a tease.  I feel like they should have formed a team with a cool combination name.  Bruiser Race?  Brody Handsome?  Eh, I’ll workshop it later.

Cage match:  Bruiser Brody v. The Great Kabuki (06.04.81)

From Star Wars ’81, also in the pre-World Class TCW promotion.  If Bruiser wins, then Fritz Von Erich gets Gary Hart in the cage.  This is also a TEXAS DEATH match, so the match continues until one person beats their opponent so savagely that they are unable to stop the winner from walking out of the cage to claim victory.  Sounds awesomely violent, unlike those wussy “escape the cage” matches that those other guys from up north were doing at the time.  I’ve heard their champion is from PRINCETON!  Oh, LA DEE DA!  Brody throws some furry boots at Kabuki, but takes an elbow in the corner.  Brody runs him into the corner and slugs away on him before hitting him with a rather emphatic slam.  The announcer, Steve Harms, wonders what exactly the purpose of the referee is here tonight.  I wonder that every week.  Kabuki takes him down and bites him on the ropes to take over, and then walks the top rope and hits him with a chop and delivers the dreaded PURPLE NURPLE OF DEATH.  He’s just twisting that titty like it owes him money.  Brody somehow survives that, so Kabuki puts him down with a superkick and then kicks him in the head and goes for the door.  Brody pulls him back and gives him a big furry boot to the face, sending him into the ropes, but Kabuki fires back with kicks of his own and they trade chops in the corner.  Brody stomps him down and goes for the door, but Kabuki foils his escape and goes up top with a flying kick to the head to put him down again.  Kabuki with a ropewalk into a chop, busting Brody open, and Kabuki goes to work on it with more chops.  Kabuki goes for the door, but Brody dropkicks him into the door to knock him out.  Brody makes the comeback with a SPINNING FULL BODY LIFT AND SLAM and drops the big knee on him, twice, and hangs him in the Tree of Woe.  And Brody walks out the door at 10:15, giving Fritz Von Erich a match with Gary Hart in the cage that we don’t see.  It wasn’t much more than punching and kicking, but Brody’s intensity and charisma was off the charts here. ***

Bruiser Brody v. Terry Gordy (09.17.83)

Gordy is back in World Class after a trip to the Orient, and they immediately brawl to the floor and then slug it out on the apron. Gordy chokes him down, but Brody makes a comeback and whips him into the corner for an upside down bump, but Gordy drops an elbow on him to take over.  Blind charge hits a big furry boot and Bruiser makes the comeback and slams him, but the big knee misses.  Gordy goes up and elbows him from the middle rope for two, but Brody hits a bodypress out of nowhere for the pin at 4:24.  And then Gordy attacks him from behind in a show of sportsmanship and beats him down thanks to the dreaded ORIENTAL SPIKE that he learned whilst in the Orient getting trained by Oriental professors.  Who knew that a thumb to the throat could have so much vaguely racist lore behind it?  The 80s were a wild time, man.  This one was threatening slobberknocker status but never quite pulled the trigger.  **.

World Class World title:  Rick Rude v. Bruiser Brody

From the 1986 WCCW Parade of Champions.  They’re using that generic National title template belt at this point, although the eventual permanent belt was very nice. I know it’s all gonna be World Class because they have that library, but a little bit of variety might have been nice.  I think they own a bunch of Puerto Rico footage that they could have used.  Brody quickly slams Rude and goes to a facelock, but Rude fights back before missing a blind charge and running into a furry boot in the corner.  That gets two for Brody.  Rude quickly puts him in a chinlock while Percy Pringle yells at the stadium, and a fistdrop gets two before going back to the chinlock.  Rude wasn’t exactly an elite worker at this point in his career.  Brody comes back and tosses him out to the floor with an awkward bump, and a slam on the boards as they brawl and Rude takes the post.  Back in, Rude hammers away with forearms, but Brody dropkicks him and hits him with a jackhammer for two.  Legdrop gets two, which was a weird spot because Rude was trying to get up and Brody dropped the leg on the back of his neck.  Rude hits a suplex for two, with Pringle pushing Brody’s leg off the bottom rope.  So Bruiser goes after Percy and hauls him into the ring, then tosses Rude over the top rope for the DQ at 7:42.  This match was kind of a mess with awkward spots all over the place.  *1/2. And in true Brody fashion they continue brawling up the aisle before Brody chases him off for good.

Bruiser Brody v. Buzz Sawyer (09.13.86)

From WCCW TV, and they immediately slug it out until Buzz misses a blind charge.  Brody boots him down and slams him for two.  Brody takes him down with a headlock and cranks on that, but Buzz bites out of it and drops elbows on him to take over.  Buzz smacks him with chops and goes back to the biting, but Brody levels him with a big boot for two.  Sawyer tosses him to the floor and chokes him out with the TV cable, and back in for more beatings from Buzz.  Sawyer hits him with a dropkick for two while we learn that Percy Pringle has fired Rick Rude from his stable and gone his own way.  Well I’m sure Rude will land on his feet somewhere.  Buzz works a chinlock on the mat, but Brody fights out with an atomic drop.  Legdrop misses and Buzz gets two, and follows with a suplex for two.  Buzz goes back to the chinlock and bites Brody’s leg to block a kick, and then suplexes him for two. Buzz with a backbreaker for two. Buzz grabs a chain behind the ref’s back, but Brody steals it, knocks him out, and gets the pin at 9:38.  Unsurprisingly, they worked together well and the match ruled.  ***1/2

Cage match:  Bruiser Brody v. Abdullah the Butcher (10.25.86)

Well you know they had to have one of their matches on there.  This is another Texas Stadium show, although with notably lower attendance than earlier in the year.  Shockingly, they did a worldwide search for a guest referee and found FRITZ VON ERICH for the job.  Well that checks out given that their World champion only worked two cities.  Fritz does a very probing check of Abby’s pants looking for weapons and can’t come up with anything, and Brody can’t believe it.  They fight for the lockup and choke each other in the corner, but the Butcher hits a corner splash and beats on him with chops.  Butcher beats on Brody with headbutts.  Abdullah drops the elbow on him, but Bruiser fights back and puts the furry boots to him in the corner.  Brody chokes away on the ropes while Gary Hart sarcastically yells “DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD MAYBE BREAK ON THE ROPES?” at Fritz.  Then he stops by the desk and notes “I’d say Fritz was doing an extremely job of refereeing…if I was Brody’s manager.”  Butcher with headbutts and they slug it out from their knees and Brody makes the comeback while Abdullah bleeds all over.  But then Abby finds an object in his pants despite the stellar efforts of Fritz to pat him down earlier.  Fritz steals it away from him and beats the shit out of him with it, and then tells Brody to cover him and counts the pin at 8:11.  I agree with Gary Hart, that was some awful and biased officiating there.  This was pretty subdued for a Brody-Butcher match.  *1/2

Bruiser Brody v. Abdullah the Butcher (01.11.87)

So now we finally are off to Puerto Rico for this one after an hour of World Class.  They immediately brawl on the floor, and back in for some boots from Brody to immediately bust Abby open.  But he pulls out his trusty fork and stabs Brody in the head a few times, drawing blood there, and they fight on the floor, with Butcher chasing him down like a serial killer and stabbing him repeatedly until the bell rings at 3:53.  So Brody grabs a chair and fights back, hitting him RIGHT IN THE BELLY WELLY as Dusty would say if there was commentary for this match and Dusty was doing it.  And that’s not effective enough so he takes off one of his boots and absolutely wears him out with that, and then finds a 2×4 and starts randomly swinging at the barricades before running into the crowd like a madman and smashing his board on various parts of the arena while the crowd goes crazy.  OK THIS  is what we were looking for out of a Brody-Butcher match.  Absolutely wild, and Brody terrorizing the crowd while they shriek in fear was hilarious.

Bruiser Brody v. Abdullah the Butcher (07.20.87)

Back to World Class for one last Brody-Butcher match, and Brody brings a GAS CAN with him and smashes it on Butcher’s head before putting the boots to him.  Brody goes up with a forearm, but Abby slugs him down and Brody is quickly gushing blood. Abdullah drops the big elbow on him for two, but Brody fights back with big furry boots to the face and stomps him down.  Abdullah with the great equalizer, but they fight to the floor and Brody grabs a chair and hits him with that.  And they fight into the crowd and tear up the arena, with Brody running him into a scissor lift before everyone heads back to the dressing room while Brody defends the ring with his chair to wrap up the collection.

GIVE US THE BEST OF STAN HANSEN NOW, YOU COWARDS!

Anyway this was great and a refreshing change of pace from what they usually post for “Best of” compilations and you should watch it and boost the algorithm for it so we get more batshit crazy stuff like it.