The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 10.10.23

The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 10.10.23

RIP to Keith Giffen. That one hurts. Another writer who was a huge influence on my own snark and sense of humor, and creator of one of the greatest comic book characters of all time: Ambush Bug.

Never let it be said that I’m not a fair man. Last night’s episode is up on WWE Network already today, so let’s check out the other side of the Tuesday Night War. For context, I know about the cameos but I wasn’t paying attention to what the matches are, and I don’t really follow any of the current characters on the show outside of the people who were on the show during the neon rainbow era, so I’m mostly just going in blind here.

Live from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Vic Joseph & Booker T

Cody Rhodes joins us for the cold open with a major announcement. And a big pop as well, although unfortunately he’s not falling down drunk like at the press conference. DO YOU FEEL HIM, SIR? First announcement: The men will have a Breakout tournament at the conclusion of the women’s version. Second announcement: The Dusty Classic Cup will return. Third announcement: He’s the guest GM for tonight’s show, as per noted “bald asshole” Shawn Michaels. So then Ilja Dragunov interrupts and he wants to blow fire for some reason. But then that brings out Dirty Dom and Rhea. Funny thing with Dom, as he’s portrayed as a joke, but he has three variants in WWE Champions and they’re all top level characters. Ilja relates his family’s experiences working in a prison, so he understands Dom’s background. So as a birthday present to himself, he wants to defend the NXT title against Dom and smash him. And then guest GM Cody assigns a special referee in the form of LA Knight.

Meanwhile, John Cena arrives in the deadly NXT parking lot and somehow makes it out alive.

Asuka v. Roxanne Perez

We’re also joined by Shotzi on commentary and she’s immediately annoying me with her bubbly personality and youthful energy. Ugh, people like her are the worst. Asuka and Perez get into a shoving match to start and Roxanne sends her to the floor, but Asuka blocks a dive attempt with a forearm. Back in, Asuka gets two off that. Roxanne with a forearm and a legsweep, and Asuka bails to the floor and allows Roxanne to successfully hit the dive this time. Back in the ring, Roxanne slugs away in the corner and they trade cradles for two, but Asuka hooks her in the Asukalock and Roxanne rolls her over for two. Asuka puts her down with kicks and gets the pin at 6:19. This was OK but they seemed a bit tentative. **1/4. Afterwards, Kiana James comes in to confront Roxanne, but Shotzi makes the save and beats her down and out of the ring. Seems like a bit of an overblown reaction there.

Meanwhile, Paul Heyman arrives and can’t find the entrance.

Meanwhile, various British people yell at each other to fire themselves up.

Pub Rules match: Tyler Bate, Butch & Ridge Holland v. Gallus

The Brutes attack right away and Butch plays darts with Joe Coffey’s hand as the target, and then Tyler bowls a ball into Mark’s head in a garbage can. But then Gallus takes over outside the ring, smashing the Brutes into the crowd and onto a keg as we take a break. Back with stereo airplane spins from the Brutes and triple forearm shots outside. Back in the ring, Bate slugs them down, but Wolfgang hits Butch and Ridge with a dive. That leaves Bate and Joe Coffey in the ring, and Joe catches him with a german suplex and an interesting crotch-stretch submission hold. Ridge saves with a pool cue to the back and that sets up triple submissions from the Brutes. Butch accidentally hits Bate with a dropkick in the corner and Gallus double-teams Butch for two, but Bate saves with a senton. So Ridge brings the tables in the ring and tosses Mark and Wolfgang out of the ring at the same time. Joe comes in with a flying keg to Ridge and tries a powerbomb through the table, but Butch saves and ends up on the table. But Joe stops to drink a beer, and that costs him as the Brutes hit a triple powerbomb through the table to finish at 12:00. Very fun brawl. ***1/2

Meanwhile, Becky Lynch prepares to defend against Lyra Valkyria at Halloween Havoc in the battle of the Irish.

Meanwhile, Tegan Nox tells Lyra that she’ll just have to wait for her title match because she needs a rematch with Becky first. Just kick her in the knee, she’ll be out for another six months.

John Cena joins us and the crowd is so hyped that they’re NOT BOOING HIM. Jonn is pretty blown away and puts over the NXT crowd and the show, but Bron Breakker interrupts. Bron: “These people didn’t come her to see you!” Cena: “That’s because they can’t.” OK that was funny. Bron is unimpressed with Cena, and John isn’t going to let that disrespect stand and just respectfully wishes Bron good luck. And Bron attacks him and tries the spear, but misses and has to run away. Man Bron is a much better heel than his initial babyface push.

Meanwhile, Cody runs into Tony D and Stacks, and they pitch some kind of tag team battle royale to determine challengers for their titles. So next week is the Bada Bing Bada Boom Battle Royale.

Meanwhile, Baron Corbin brings the star power and he’s still not impressed with Ilja Dragunov or anyone else in NXT. And then LA Knight’s music hits and he just kind of trails off and leaves. Guess we’ll never find out what his point was.

NXT title: Ilja Dragunov v. Dominick Mysterio

Booker points out that Dom needs to say “thanks for the house” like they did in the old days. Yeah it’s a crowd of free tickets, there is no house, Book. Ilya slams Dom and sends him hiding in the corner, so Dragunov takes him down with a throw for two. Rolling german suplexes follow, but Rhea distracts LA Knight and Dom thumbs Ilja in the eye to escape and sends him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Dom hitting the triple suplexes, but Dragunov hits him with an enzuigiri and rebound lariat. More german suplexes from Dragunov and he finishes with a deadlift slam and then beats on him with chops in the corner. Dom finally fires back with his own chop, and that was a very bad idea on his part. So Ilja chops the shit out of him in the corner. Dom tries a 619 and misses, but he recovers with a slingshot into another 619 on the other side for two. Dom tries to go to the top and Dragunov brings him down with a superplex, so Dom bails to the apron and catches Ilja with a DDT in the ropes. That didn’t look great. Back in the ring, Dragunov with a powerbomb, but the Judgment Day guys try to run in, and Knight takes care of them as Dragunov finishes with the Moscow Torpedo at 12:21. ***1/2 Good for Dragunov, he’s always been awesome and hopefully he gets a long run with the title. But then Baron Corbin comes out to issue a challenge, and Dijak pops out of the crowd and lays out Dragunov first.

Meanwhile, Trick Williams can also see John Cena, and introduces himself while John is hanging out with Carmelo Hayes. John seems to make peace between them but Trick wants further advice from Cena.

Meanwhile, Jade Cargill shows up and meets Shawn Michaels.

Meanwhile, Baron Corbin annoys Cody and wants a title shot at Ilja Dragunov, but Cody has better cases to consider than Corbin’s. So first he has to win a triple threat next week.

NXT Breakout tournament: Lola Vice v. Dani Palmer

Not familiar with either of these two. They trade takedowns and Lola gets a rollup for two, but Palmer takes her down with a headscissors. Palmer tries a leapfrog and Lola blocks it with a superkick for two and follows with a hip attack in the corner for two. Palmer with a high cross out of the corner and she makes a comeback with a moonsault that misses. Lola puts her in a triangle off that, Palmer cradles her for two. And then Vice kicks her again for the pin at 4:02. They both looked super green but this was fine for what it was. *1/2

Meanwhile, at Chase U, Jacy Jayne and Thea Hale show up for learning, but don’t appear to be paying attention to Andre Chase’s Halloween Havoc history. So next week, Andre and Duke Hudson are in the battle royale.

Meanwhile, Paul Heyman meets up with Bron and sees a future main eventer in him.

Meanwhile, Brian Pillman Jr watches footage of his father and although he wanted out of the business, it keeps pulling him back. But he doesn’t need a father who left him when he was 4, so he’s taking his stepfather’s name instead. And now he’s Lexis King. Hey, I know someone who could have been a father figure to him!

Carmelo Hayes v. Bron Breakker

Man, when did Heyman suddenly go grey? Bron whips Melo into the corner and he pops up to the top with a bodypress, but Bron catches him and slams him. Bron revs up for a spear and runs the ropes, but Hayes springboards him to counter and Bron bails to the floor while we take a break. Back with Bron bending Hayes around and he dumps Hayes to the apron. They fight for something on the top and both guys bump off that, but Bron is up first and slugs away on the mat. That gets two. Hayes fights back, but Bron suddenly takes him down with a double-leg and beats on him further. Bron with a gutbuster for two. So he steals some Cena moves to be a dick, but Hayes is somehow able to see him and comes back with a superkick. Bron tries a slingshot suplex, but Hayes reverses to a cutter for two. They fight to the top, but Bron brings him down with a facebuster for two. The spear misses and Hayes goes up for a forearm, but Bron catches him and powerslams him for two. To the floor, but Cena stops Breakker from using the stairs, which allows Solo Sikoa to attack John and take him back to the dressing room. Back in the ring, Melo finishes with the Nothing But Net legdrop at 12:44. And then Bron spears him in the name of sportsmanship. Good main event as Bron is definitely getting better and probably should be on the main roster by now. ***

Afterwards, Bron declares himself the only badass, which brings out Undertaker, complete with motorcycle and Kid Rock music. Now there’s something I didn’t need to see ever again. Taker appears to have come from a MAGA rally and is ready to tell us about 5G cell phone towers triggering covid vaccine heart attacks. So Bron gets in his face, and Taker slugs him down and chokeslams him. Man, can you imagine Shawn Michaels or HHH in 1997 taking a chokeslam from some old-timer from the 70s? That’s not smart business for someone you want to be a Wrestlemania main eventer.

I thought this was a very evenly paced and watchable show, which has thankfully CALMED THE FUCK DOWN since the days of Von Wagner when I left off. I felt like AEW was a bigger deal this week with two major title changes and stronger angles, but then I don’t really feel nostalgia for seeing John Cena and Undertaker. I don’t feel like I’d be very passionate or interesting doing continuing reviews of this show, but this was a fine use of two hours.