The SmarK Rant for WWE Network Old School – MSG 02.18.83

The SmarK Rant for WWE Network Old School – MSG 02.18.83

Might as well start catching up on these shows again.

Taped from Madison Square Garden

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Gorilla Monsoon

Jose Estrada v. Curt Hennig

WELL OKAY THEN! Here I tune into a random 83 house show and get Curt Hennig in the opener. Wearing a fringed cowboy jacket, no less! Cowboy shit, indeed. Estrada hits Curt with a kneelift off the handshake, but Curt fires back and slugs him to the apron, drawing a huge babyface pop. Back in, Curt works the headlock and takes him down with that and Gorilla is very impressed with the execution of the hold. You might say he has it applied….very expertly. Curt continues squeezing on that while Gorilla talks about the very successful tour of the Middle East just finished by Estrada, where he apparently went undefeated. “They really liked him in Oman” notes Vince. Jose fights out of the headlock with a wristlock, but Curt goes right back to it with another takedown. Jose slugs out of that, but Hennig does a nice leapfrog and crossbody out of the corner for two. You might say he hit that one…….very convincingly. Back to the headlock while Gorilla ribs the ref for his ill-fitting pants. Jose tries to escape the headlock and Curt grabs the beard to bring him back, but Estrada finally powers out of it and hits Curt with a forearm to the gut to block a leapfrog. Estrada beats on Hennig with forearms and puts him down with a chop for one before going to work on the arm. Curt slugs out of it and makes a comeback, drawing another big babyface reaction from the crowd, but Estrada slams him out of a hammerlock and goes back to the arm again. Estrada actually wraps him up in a double chickenwing / leglock combo and then goes back to the arm again with a hammerlock. Hennig fights out and grabs another headlock, but Estrada pushes himself out of it and falls into the ropes as a result. So Hennig charges him with headbutts to the gut, but then he goes flying to the floor after missing one. Not sure that was planned. Finally Estrada is released from the ropes and catches Hennig with a back elbow. He tries a slam and Hennig reverses for two. Another back elbow finishes for Estrada at 13:24. Better days would be ahead for young Curt. Very entertaining opener. ***

Baron Mikel Scicluna v. The Unpredictable Johnny Rodz

The Baron attacks with forearms and runs Rodz into the turnbuckles before choking him out in the corner. Rodz fights back with a snapmare and kneedrop for two, but the Baron tosses him over the top and then back in for a boot to the gut. Rodz comes back again and gets some boots as even the announcers are like “Well they’re both kind of terrible tonight” Baron with a half-assed back elbow for two, but Rodz splashes him for the pin at 5:00. Gorilla actually predicted at the start of the match that Scicluna was sick and would lose if the match went past 5:00, so there you go. ½*.

Mr. Fuji v. Tony Garea

Fuji immediately pulls out the salt and hides it from the ref, but Garea hits him with a clothesline and backdrop. But then Fuji gets tired of wrestling already and uses some salt in Garea’s eyes to take over. Fuji with the headbutt and he goes to the nerve hold, but Garea fights back and so Fuji hits him in the throat to take over again. Fuji with the chop to put Garea down and we’re back to the nerve pinch. Garea slams out of that, but misses a dropkick and Fuji goes back to the hold. Garea comes back again with dropkicks, but he tries a suplex and Fuji grabs the ropes and falls on top for the pin at 8:25. I assume they were building him up for Backlund or something at this point. *

Meanwhile, Mr. Fuji denies being “thrown around like a sack of Japanese potatoes” and notes that he was using something called “psychology”.

Big John Studd v. Jules Strongbow

Studd was with Classy Freddy Blassie at this point as the poor guy got traded around by managers like Sunny in the dressing room. Studd overpowers him, so Jules fires back with chops and tries for the slam. Studd casually blocks it and slams him, but he misses a charge and Jules goes for another slam. Studd blocks that and puts him up in the body vice, and that finishes at 2:42. Basically a squash. ½*

Meanwhile, John Studd claims that he’s too big to be slammed and can’t be pinned.

Ray Stevens v. Chief Jay Strongbow

Ray charges in and walks into the sleeper, so he has to desperately make the ropes. Jay puts him down with chops and Stevens takes all kinds of crazy bumps off that and then bails to the floor. Back in the ring, Strongbow whips him into the corner and Ray bumps to the floor off that. Jay won’t let him back into the ring, so Stevens yanks him to the floor and beats on him out there. Back in he tries the piledriver, but Strongbow backdrops out and they collide for a double down. Jay makes the comeback and slams Stevens from the apron before hitting a kneelift, but Stevens takes him down with a small package for the pin at 9:20. Stevens was great here, bumping all over the ring for Strongbow. **1/2

Meanwhile, Vince sits down with Intercontinental champion Don Muraco before his WWF title shot against Bob Backlund later tonight.

WWF title: Bob Backlund v. Magnificent Muraco

Interesting that Bob has the big green belt already at this point. I thought it didn’t come around until near the end of his reign. Muraco grabs a headlock to start, but Backlund escapes with a pair of slams and Muraco bails to the floor. Back in, they do some mat wrestling and Muraco loses that battle before Bob goes to the headlock. Muraco fights out of that, so Bob clotheslines him down again and goes back to the headlock. So yeah, we’re 10 minutes in and it’s been all Bob laying there in a headlock for the most part. “Maybe Muraco has a plan to explain why he’s been laying there the whole time?” wonders Gorilla. Finally Muraco goes for a bearhug to escape, and then turns it into a spinebuster instead and it’s a double down. Muraco is up first with a backbreaker as Gorilla notes “Muraco doesn’t do many things but he does them very well.” I agree with half of that. I mean, I love Muraco but he was not exactly an elite in ring worker in the 80s. Muraco with an abdominal stretch for a bit, and then he turns it into a legsweep and goes into a Boston crab as this thing finally picks up a bit. Bob fights out and goes to the top, and Muraco slams him off and tries for the piledriver, but Bob backdrops out of that. Muraco necks him on the top rope and decides to go to the top himself, but his flying splash hits the knees and they’re both down and out. Collision and Bob lands on the apron, so Muraco puts him back on the floor with a kneelift. Muraco tries a suplex back in, but Bob slips out and hits him with a shoulderbreaker. And then Muraco charges and hits the post, further injuring that shoulder. Bob goes to work on that arm and PROCURES THE CHICKEN WING, but Muraco quickly makes the ropes and the ref gets bumped in the process, drawing a DQ at 21:24. And since Bob was the one who made contact, Muraco wins by DQ. First half was a slog but the last 10 minutes was pretty awesome. ***1/2

Meanwhile, Muraco notes that Bob fell into his trap, and lost his cool. And then Backlund comes flying in from the ring and clobbers Muraco from behind, triggering a pullapart brawl.

Superstar Billy Graham v. Rocky Johnson

Graham attacks to start and uses his KUNG FU on Rocky, but the Rock fights back and slugs away in the corner before walking into a bearhug. But then Rocky reverses into his own, so Graham uses KARATE to escape. Rocky with dropkicks and Graham runs away, at least as fast as he ever moved at that point, and walks out at 3:30. DUD

Andre the Giant & Jimmy Snuka v. The Wild Samoans

This is a pretty wild one-off match. The Samoans quickly double-team Snuka in the corner and choke him out, as Gorilla lets us know that Snuka feels like the Samoans are not doing a good job of representing the Polynesian people. Yeah well he’s one to talk. Snuka tries to fight them off and gets cut off and beat down by Sika, but Snuka continues fighting back with chops, and so Afa comes in and cuts him off again. Double chop and diving headbutt from Afa gets two. Samoans with the double headbutt, but Andre has had enough of this crap and grabs Afa from the apron for some shots of his own. The ref somehow talks him back to the corner and the Samoans continue beating on Snuka with headbutts, but Sika tries one too many and Snuka has the harder head, apparently. So he crawls for the corner, but Sika pulls him back again for a double clothesline. So this time Andre just comes in and runs Afa into the corner, but then changes his mind and leaves peacefully. And this time Snuka rallies and it’s HOT TAG Andre and he has this one under control. As expected he completely destroys them both and gives Afa a headbutt so epic that he even staggers himself, sending Afa to the floor and busting him open in the process. So Sika comes in and tries to slug it out with the Giant, and Andre kicks his ass too with a big boot and then headbutts him into next week. Over to Snuka with the Superfly splash, off Andre’s shoulders, and Sika is legally dead at 9:43. He got such a beating from Andre that Roman Reigns is still feeling it today. A tremendous match. Million billion stars.

Eddie Gilbert v. Charlie Fulton

These poor bastards are never going to follow that one. I don’t know why they didn’t close with that tag match. They trade armbars and even Gorilla brings up that same point, noting that the crowd is still thinking about the Andre match and probably won’t be paying much attention here. Gilbert with the armbar, but now Gorilla thinks that maybe Snuka might have pinned the wrong Samoan in all the chaos and headbutts. WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON, GORILLA? Fulton with a chinlock and Eddie slugs out and makes a comeback, but he tries a crossbody and Fulton goes all Samoa Joe on him. Gilbert tries a leapfrog and trips, so Fulton covers for it by dropping him on the top rope with a stun gun, which gets two. Fulton with a clothesline for two and he drops a leg for two. But then Eddie hits a kneelift and gets a quick pin at 9:24. This was a disaster and they were all over the place after that missed crossbody. DUD

Swede Hanson v. Sal Bellomo

Sal tries some shoulderblocks and gets nowhere, and then dropkicks Swede and just bounces off him. Sal tries what appears to be a rana, but Swede just sits him on the top rope like Sal is Bugs Bunny and Swede is The Crusher. Swede finally just takes him down and drops knees on him for two. More knees get two, but Swede charges and clotheslines himself on the top rope, and Sal falls on top for the pin at 4:24. ½*

Playboy Buddy Rose v. Pedro Morales

Buddy makes sure to correct the weight announcement from 236 pounds to 232. Buddy shows off his agility right away, but Pedro chases him out of the ring and then slams him on the way back in. More slams as Gorilla makes fun of Buddy for wearing “boots that look like they went out in the Civil War” and then the handheld camera guy actually gets a closeup shot of the boots! And yeah, they’re pretty nasty. Pedro with a backslide for two and so Buddy retreats to the apron to complain. This allows Vince and Gorilla to have a shockingly prescient and deep conversation about ring injuries taking their toll in the long term, as Gorilla remembers all the bumps and slams and over-the-top falls, and Vince sagely notes “You can pay for them now, or pay for them later, but one way or another you pay for them.” That might be one of the truest things ever spoken by him. Buddy with a suplex for two and they try a superplex, but the ropes are so loose that Buddy has to do one from the bottom rope instead. That gets two. Neckbreaker gets two. Pedro makes a comeback and Buddy cuts him off and goes to the top, so Pedro slams him off and they brawl to the floor. Back in, Pedro with a pair of atomic drops, but Pedro misses a dropkick and Buddy gives Morales a backbreaker for two. But then Buddy thinks he’s won the match and celebrates too soon, allowing Pedro to hit his own rollup for the pin at 11:38. Just kind of a normal match to end the show. **

A mostly uneventful show, but the Backlund-Muraco match is worth watching, and the Snuka/Andre v. Samoans tag match is tremendous, so I’d call this one a thumbs up.