The SmarK Rant for WWE Monday Night RAW – 11.04.24

The SmarK Rant for WWE Monday Night RAW – 11.04.24

With only two months left before the move to Netflix and the shows back down to two hours long, I thought I might as well make up for the (duly noted) lack of WWE PPV reviews this year by covering the show for the remainder of its USA run. So yeah, buckle in, snark could be forthcoming.

Taped from Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Oh goodie, I picked a Saudi show to review first. Reminder: No journalists have been beheaded there this year. As far as we know. But just think about all the journalists who HAVEN’T been beheaded! How come no one ever gives them any credit for THAT?

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Corey Graves

Meanwhile, at Crown Jewel, it was certainly a show that happened. And no journalists were murdered for speaking out against the state as far as we’ve discovered thus far, I can’t stress that enough.

Liv Morgan joins us with her good friends Dominick and Raquel, and although she won the Crown Jewel championship at the PPV, she doesn’t actually get to keep the belt because it’s stored in a vault where no one can access it. Is she the greatest women’s champion of all time? She certainly makes a case for herself, but Jade Cargill & Bianca Belair interrupt. Jade actually pulls off the bodysuit, which makes sense given her superhero cosplay background. The champs want a tag team match tonight, but Adam Pearce hits the ring and demands everyone CALM DOWN. Telling crazy women to calm down is always the best course of action, I’ve found. So there’s no tag team match, but instead it’s a battle royale to find a new #1 contender. Which starts now.

Battle Royale: We’ve got Iyo Sky, Kairi Sane, Bianca Belair, Jade Cargill, and then a bunch of other people who fill in after a break. Kaden and Katana do some acrobatics to start and take Isla Dawn out on the apron at 1:14. Shayna chokes Kaden out on the apron and puts her out at 1:45. Maxine runs wild, but Ivy dropkicks her out at 2:40. Zelina kicks Ivy out with a 619 at 3:15 and we take a break. Back with more dead weight thrown out, and Kairi gets booted out by a few people at 7:37. Natalya gets tossed by Shayna & Sonya at 8:00, but the tag champs dump them right away. So we’ve got a final four of Jade, Bianca, Valkyria and Iyo. Jade and Bianca try to throw them out, but they don’t make it to the floor, thus making them look silly for celebrating. So then Liv and Raquel yank out Bianca by the braid at 10:00, followed by Jade, leaving us with Lyra and Iyo. They quickly fight to the apron and trade shots out there, and Iyo hits a german suplex on the apron, the HARDEST PART OF THE RING, to eliminate Lyra and win the match at 12:20. This was a pleasant and competent battle royale.

Meanwhile, the New Day is having some communication problems, but they’re interrupted by the Miz apparently getting tortured by Bo Dallas in a darkened back room. Well he’s in the right country for it.

Meanwhile, Goldberg announces his retirement match while at an SEC football game. I bet he finances his waterbed with a 49% interest rate, and opens doorknobs with ease due to his lack of championship rings. Probably can’t even get a table at Beef O’Bradys.

The War Raiders v. The New Day

Kofi and Xavier double-team Ivar to start, despite their lack of color coordination. How is it fair that Ivar doesn’t have to cover up his chest when he’s got bigger boobs than many of the women? War Raiders take over and we take a break. Back with Woods fighting them off in the corner, but Ivar puts him down for two. Erik slams Ivar onto Woods for two. Woods with an enzuigiri on Ivar and they collide for a double down before Kofi makes the hot tag and runs wild. Kofi with the SOS on Erik for two. Dive onto Ivar outside and he hits the Boom Drop on Erik, but Woods tags himself in and promptly gets walloped and finished at 8:35. Just a match. **

Sami Zayn joins us after maybe screwing Roman Reigns over at the PPV, which quickly brings out Jey Uso. And then his brother Jimothy. The Usos sow distrust in Sami, but Sami points out that they haven’t exactly been trustworthy themselves towards him. Especially Jim, who is the angry Uso lately. And Sami points out that he’s already been put on trial by the Bloodline and he’s over that shit, so he’s not joining up with them again. Fair point. But Jey invites him back because he sees Sami Uso, also Jimmy is still skeptical. If I’m Sami I’m staying far away from this family drama.

Meanwhile, Seth Rollins respects Bronson Reed, but he wants to earn a title shot at Gunther tonight. All he has to do is beat two of the best in the world, and Dominick Mysterio, later tonight.

Dragon Lee v. Chad Gable

Gable tosses him around and controls on the mat while slapping him around, but Lee snaps the shoulder straps and goes up with a crossbody for two. They fight to the apron and Lee takes a sick backdrop back to the floor as we take a break. Back with Gable tossing Lee into the corner with an overhead throw for another sick bump, and that gets two. They trade kicks and Lee makes a comeback with a flying forearm and a mule kick in the corner. Shotgun dropkick in the corner gets two. They slug it out with a show of fisticuffsmanship and Lee snaps off a german suplex, but Gable pops up with his own and turns into the rolling germans. Lee flips into a powerbomb for two off that. Lee goes up and Gable suplexes him down and hits a cliffhanger DDT for two, but Vega breaks up the pin. So this brings out Rey Mysterio to help out Vega after she’s attacked by Ivy Nile, but Gable gets all distracted by trying to attack Rey, and Lee hits the shiranui for the pin at 11:19. Really good match with too much needless gaga at the finish. ***1/2

Meanwhile, Gunther feels like he’s prepared for any of the three world class performers, and Dominick, that are in the four-way match tonight to determine his next opponent. And Ludvig Kaiser probably needs to do better moving forward.

#1 Contender’s match: Damian Priest v. Sheamus v. Dominick Mysterio v. Seth Rollins

I was just checking ticket prices for Survivor Series in Vancouver in case I wanted to fly out at the end of the month, but it’s currently at $300 entry point, for NOSEBLEEDS. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK that. Probably because it’s all resale tickets at this point. Poor Dom tries to run away from everyone and gets caught by Sheamus on the apron, and then Sheamus dives onto everyone as we take a break. Back with Dom somehow in control, perhaps because everyone else suffered simultaneous heart attacks, and a senton gets two. Tornado DDT gets two. Priest makes a comeback and destroys Dom for a bit and hits a flatliner, but Sheamus hits everyone with backbreakers and everyone is out. He goes up with a kneedrop on Dom for two, but Rollins makes the save and it’s a quadruple down as we take another break. Back with Priest and Sheamus trading shots, and White Noise gets two. I like the little “Tonight’s Results” bug in the corner, including “The Usos exchanged heated words with Sami Zayn”. That’s a nice touch you don’t see on wrestling shows. Dom manages a rollup on Seth, but Seth curb stomps him as Bronson hits the ring for a brawl with Rollins. Reed manages to beat up Sheamus and Priest on his own and hits them both with the diving splash before putting Seth through the announce table for good measure. I guess he took exception to Seth dismissing him earlier in the night. So with everyone out, Dom gets two on Sheamus, but Priest saves. South of Heaven finishes for Priest at 17:17 and so he gets a rematch with Gunther at Survivor Series, I presume. Feels like treading water for Gunther to be honest. Match was good and had a lot of heat, but a huge chunk of it was during the breaks. ***1/4

Well this was certainly easier to watch than the three hour version of the show, so I guess I’ll enjoy this breezier RAW while it lasts. Because I bet the Netflix version is gonna run 4 or 5 hours every week.