The SmarK Rant for WWF Wrestling at the Chase – 04.01.84

The SmarK Rant for Wrestling at the Chase – 04.01.84

Taped from the Kiel Auditorium in St. Louis, MO.

This is, I believe, the second half of an arena show divided into two episodes of the Chase, and the first one was a banger.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Mean Gene, although Larry Matysik does an introduction tacked onto the beginning.

Intercontinental title: Tito Santana v. Alexis Smirnoff

They fight for the lockup and Vince notes that Tito protects himself from the possibility of chicanery by breaking on the ropes. You gotta protect against the chicanery, you just gotta! Tito goes for the arm and Smirnoff reverses to a snapmare and works on him with a nerve hold. Tito fights back with a sunset flip for two and slugs away RIGHT IN THE MUSH before adding a backdrop and then going to a chinlock. Tito grinds on a side headlock and adds a hiptoss for two, and then back to the headlock as Vince speculates that Smirnoff is trying to win the title in order to motivate the Russians in the Olympics. Oh shit, they probably watched this god-awful match and that’s why they boycotted! Smirnoff chokes him out and puts the boots to him on the ropes to take over, and follows with a big boot and elbow for two. But then Tito rallies and hits the flying forearm out of nowhere for the pin to retain at 11:45. A crashing bore of a match. *

UPDATE! WITH VINCE MCMAHON!

Move over Eisenhower! Get bent, Patton! Sgt. Slaughter is here to deliver the oratory that all the kids are into these days!

Meanwhile, Mean Gene lets us know that the next Kiel show will feature Hulk Hogan defending the title against Big John Studd in a cage match!

Meanwhile, Roddy Piper brings Jimmy Snuka onto Piper’s Pit and then lets him take over the interview and offers him a nice pineapple and banana to make him feel at home. Plus some nice coconuts, and next time he’ll get a tree so he can climb up and down like a monkey. And then Snuka deadpans “Are you making fun of me?” and Piper does the famous attack, breaking the coconut on his head and knocking him through the set, before delivering a whipping with his belt and then running out of the building.

Tony Atlas & Rocky Johnson v. Butcher Vachon & Charlie Fulton

So after our excursion to the Kiel, we’re back in the Chase again for more squashes. Rocky overpowers Fulton, so Vachon comes in and he gets double-teamed. Rocky with a backdrop as Gene declares “Cut off my legs and call me Shorty!” in response. And you people think that I’M a dork. Back to Fulton, but Rocky chinlocks him and Atlas adds a dropkick. Rocky gets caught in the heel corner and they choke him out. But then Atlas gets the hot tag and headbutts Fulton repeatedly, before Rocky comes in again with a sunset flip to finish at 5:00.

Hulk Hogan v. Tiger Chung Lee

So now we’re just straight up recycling matches from Championship Wrestling, as this is a non-title match from a few weeks before. Hulk slingshots him into the ring and slugs away in the corner before following with an atomic drop and the GOLDEN SQUEEZE bearhug. Sorry, I think I’m getting Hogan confused with that Sterling Golden guy from Georgia. Tiger rakes the eyes to break and goes to a nerve hold, but Hulk fights out of that and puts him away with the legdrop at 3:00. Hulk was still working out the kinks on the act and hadn’t even switched from the big green belt yet!

Big John Studd v. Jose Luis Rivera

Another recycled rerun from Championship Wrestling. Studd hits Rivera with a shoulderblock that sends him flying over the top rope in a crazy bump, and then back in for some forearm clubbing. And the body vice finishes at 2:22.

And Mean Gene does one more hype session for the next Kiel show, which gives Hulk Hogan a chance to rant about how he’ll NEVER CRY, and John Studd is a cancer and the cage match is his operating room.

This one was certainly not anything approaching a banger.

Well this was certainly not any kind of notable episode, basically just some matches cut together from leftovers. I’m thinking Vince stops caring about the Chase show right about this time and this is the first blatant sign of it. He’d have a new toy in about three months after this anyway.