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The SmarK Rant for World Championship Wrestling – 09.11.82

By Scott Keith on 21 January 2025

The SmarK Rant for World Championship Wrestling – 09.11.82

Fuck it, let’s review some Georgia.

Taped from Charlotte, NC

Your host is Gordon Solie

Ole Anderson & Buzz Sawyer are immediately at the desk and Ole demands an apology from Roddy Piper OR ELSE. Buzz claims that he ran Michael Hayes out of the territory and now there’s no one left to challenge him because all the sissies and cowards are the only ones left. And then Sonny King stops by to air his grievances, but Terry Gordy threatens to destroy him. Michael Hayes of course is off to World Class in time for some awesome stuff you may have heard about before.

Tom Prichard v. Rick Conners

Tom works the arm to start as we get an early appearance from young referee Nick Patrick, who was still training to be a wrestler at this point, I believe. Tom controls with a top wristlock and Conners fights out of that, so Tom uses the FULL ARM DRAG AND TWIST to take him down again off a monkey flip. Conners gets a headlock on the mat, right on top of a big “WCW” logo that looked someone literally drew it with a yellow highlighter. Conners goes to a hammerlock, but Tom slams out of it with not one, but TWO, full body slams and a dropkick and a sunset flip to finish at 4:51, which Gordon calls his “unusual savate methods”. This match was pretty sloppy but Tom was probably 15 or so at the time.

Terry Gordy joins us and he announces that Tito Santana will be taking the place of Michael Hayes as his trusted tag team partner from now on, and Sonny King is in some trouble as a result.

Ivan Koloff v. Jimmy Powell

Koloff pounds on him with forearms and slams him, but Powell hits a flying bodypress out of the corner for two and tries a headlock. Ivan just takes him down with a snapmare and puts the boots to him, but Powell gets a small package for one. Koloff takes him down off a facelock for two and continues holding a guillotine on him and then beats on him in the corner with knees before finishing with the falling knee to the neck for the pin at 3:10. That’s still a hell of a finisher that someone could bring back today.

Buzz Sawyer, who the commercial tease promised would “stop by for a short dissertation”, yells about Michael Hayes running away from the territory, and now he has to find someone new to beat up. And Sonny King’s Samoans will be facing Terry Gordy and new partner Tito Santana at the Omni. Also, Tommy Rich and Paul Orndorff stop by and get immediately cut off by the commercial break before Paul can finish hyping his match at the Omni against Harley Race.

Paul Orndorff v. Deke Rivers

Orndroff takes Rivers down and works the arm on the mat, while Buzz Sawyer stops by the desk and promises to watch this match and any further matches that Orndorff is involved in. Buzz notes that they call Paul “The Brandon Bull”, but he’s going to show us how BRAND A BULL. OK that’s pretty clever. Also Buzz feels like he should be called the Tampa Bull and he’s also better looking than Orndorff. More importantly, who would name their kid “Deke”? Did his parents think they were buying a baby name book and accidentally picked up a crossword dictionary? Orndorff finishes Deke with the powerslam at 3:55.

And this brings us to Rowdy Roddy Piper, who draws a huge babyface reaction, and he points out that they’re trying to fire him from TV from the 43rd time because he’s controversial. So Ole Anderson comes out to confront him, and Piper sticks his hands in his pockets and Ole gets all offended and asks why Piper is doing that. “Because I’m not afraid of anything here”. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SNAP! Legendary burn! Ole asks for another apology, but Piper calls him a pigface and notes that he doesn’t have anything to apologize for. “Oooooooo” notes Gordon Solie, and Ole snaps even more and wants an even BIGGER apology now.

Back from the break, and Piper returns and he doesn’t want to be a hero. So this time Ivan Koloff and he complains about biased officiating in the National title tournament, which cost him the win. Piper: “You tried to choke out some young kid with the chain and got thrown out, that’s what happened.” This naturally offends Koloff and a brawl is teased, but then Piper calms down and promises not to cause any more trouble this week, while Ivan backs off. Gordon: “What makes Roddy Piper tick?” Piper just laughs like a serial killer and shows the clip of him knocking out Muraco in the Omni from last week, and he confesses that he happened to have a roll of quarters in his hand. I KNEW IT! So Ole returns and he wants that apology RIGHT NOW. “You’re as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent, and I’m not apologizing” and he lays out Ole and storms off. THIS IS SO FUCKING GREAT.

The Wild Samoans v. Mike Jackson & Burrhead Jones

Quality jobber team there. Burrhead, who is a “wirey, sinewy fellow” according to Gordon, gets worked over by the Samoans and Jackson comes in and also gets massacred. He fights back and tags in Burrhead, that sinewy fellow, but Sika smashes him and gets a headbutt for two. They keep picking Jones up and then hit him with a double headbutt and Afa goes up with a diving headbutt for the pin at 4:44 while Jones has what appears to be a seizure. The crowd chants for the Freebirds but PS is long gone, kids. Terry Gordy hits the ring and attacks both Samoans by himself because he’s nuts, and then Tito joins in and they clear the ring.

Roddy Piper joins us again and notes that he’s gotta wrestle at the Omni just to pay the fines he accumulates on this show. So if either Ole or Muraco wants to wrestle him at the Omni, he’ll take them both. It actually ended up being Ole because Muraco suddenly jumped back to the WWF to be Intercontinental champion.

THE ROAD WARRIOR v. Randy Barber

So let me set the scene here for you: Young Joe Lauren, doing jobs on Mid-Atlantic for a good chunk of 82, comes to Georgia for a singles push with a new gimmick, but not based on the Mad Max sequel. Oh no, instead we get THIS…

The Road Warrior?

You’re probably wondering if those are Daisy Dukes he’s wearing and the answer is a resounding HELL YES. This might be one of the greatest shows in wrestling history, no lie. Maybe even television shows in general. “Looking good baby!” some fans quip when he walks by the desk. This episode should be enshrined in the Smithsonian. Trust me, those shorts leave NOTHING to the imagination. The WARRIOR puts Barber down with a back elbow and pins him at 0:15, moving like he literally has a stick up his ass. Granted if he did, we could probably tell because HOLY COW THOSE SHORTS ARE TIGHT. I’m assuming he bypassed the locker room and went to shower off at the YMCA, if you know what I’m saying. I am dying of laughter here. Literally expiring. This saved my whole week and then some.

THIS SHOW WAS AMAZING. It had everything I need in an hour of sports entertainment and man was I entertained. Georgia for the win once again.