The SmarK Rant for World Championship Wrestling – 03.28.87

The SmarK Rant for World Championship Wrestling – 03.28.87

Originally written 04.27.26

Holy crap, they’ve actually made it past where I last left off in 2023. So let’s get back to it, courtesy of the WWE Vault!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVxAv3b1-3E

Taped from Atlanta, GA

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & David Crockett

The Rock N Roll Express v. Chance McQuade & Bill Tabb

Tony and David are still hyping up that hot new team, The Gladiators! Apparently they’re making an appearance here tonight. They trap McQuade in the corner and double-team him, thus preventing him from doing a high speed car chase and catching the Mexican drug lord who killed his partner. They work the arm for a while and finish with the double dropkick at 3:58. The replay shows they literally missed by a foot, but it’s the thought that counts.

Afterwards, the Express talks about the Crockett Cup and Rock N Roll will always be here and there’s only one!

Jim Cornette joins Tony, hyping up an impending cage match between Dusty and Bubba in the Boston Garden. I didn’t even know they ever ran the Gah-den. Jim also has words for Ole Anderson, pointing out that Bubba is the future and Ole is the past, so they’re gonna do a favor for JJ Dillon and take him out.

Beautiful Bobby v. Vern Deaton

Apparently Dennis Condrey is gone and there’s a “new improved Midnight Express” who will debut at the Crockett Cup. Bobby quickly hits a flying knee off the top and tosses Deaton, so Bubba tosses him back in for more abuse from Bobby. Cornette just freestyling on commentary, without even taking a breath, is something to behold. Tony: “I think that we’ve heard all that before.” Cornette (walking away): “YEAH BUT NOW YOU HEARD IT AGAIN, IDIOT!” And then he changes his mind and goes back to the desk to cut another promo, this time about the “Goofy Garvins”, with the Barney Rubble of pro wrestling, Ronnie. Eaton hits a high knee and goes to the top for the Alabama Jam to finish at 3:39. Cornette calls it the hemerobiid hop. I don’t think that one is gonna catch on.

Meanwhile, on Worldwide, we take a look at a six-man Horsemen squash with Flair on commentary burying Ole Anderson, so Ole comes out attacks Ric, tearing up his suit until the other Horsemen save. An enraged Flair runs around the set screaming WHERE IS OLE, running through open doors and then turning around and going back again in a funny bit. So if Big Bubba somehow doesn’t end his career at the Crockett Cup, Flair and the Horsemen will take care of it themselves.

Ole Anderson joins Tony back at the studio, and he chooses his son over the Horsemen and that’s fine with him. And Tully Blanchard is the first one on his list, and he’s doing it for his snot-nosed kid.

Ole Anderson v. Kent Glover

A pissed off Ole smashes Glover and runs him into the corner before choking him out on the ropes and then going to the standing armbar. Ole drops an elbow on him and goes up to the top for a flying knee to the shoulder and then puts him away with another armbar at 1:30.

Meanwhile, Francis Crockett takes us on a tour of Baltimore, so you know what to see when you’re here for the Crockett Cup.

The Kansas Jayhawks v. Randy Barber & Mike Force

The Jayhawks were scheduled for the Cup but didn’t actually show up. Dutch cranks on Barber’s arm and Jaggers comes in and drops elbows on him. Over to Mike Force, who looks like a divorced dad who got REALLY into bodybuilding. Jayhawks double-team him and Dutch goes to a chinlock while Tony wonders how they’d fare against a top team like the Gladiators. Admittedly Tony hasn’t seen them but he’s heard lots of good things about them. Force fights back on Dutch, but that just annoys him and Jaggers comes in with a short arm clothesline. Dutch with a facelock and Jaggers puts him down with a kneelift as they’re running this squash way too long. Dutch boots him down and Jaggers puts him away with a big elbow at 5:46. I never understood these guys as babyfaces.

Paul Ellering joins Tony, fresh off a successful tour of the Orient with the Road Warriors, and he talks about the Warriors being opportunists. Apparently they just won the International tag team titles in Japan and next up is repeating as Crockett Cup champions. And they earn their money the old fashioned way: They beat people up for it.

And now, an update on what happened to Nikita Koloff. So we take a look back at NWA Pro, where Nikita wins a squash, but Dick Murdoch hits the ring and delivers a brainbuster to Koloff on the floor! These days that’s a “We’ll be right back after this break” moment, but back in 1987 Nikita sold that goddamn neck brace for what felt like a year afterwards. Back at the studio, David promises SEVERE CONSEQUENCES for Murdoch, which is believe is how they wrote him out of the promotion and sadly ended the Dark Superpowers team.

Meanwhile, Dusty Rhodes and injured Nikita give us an update on the pain blues & agony currently being suffered. Nikita promises to wrestle in the Crockett Cup even if they have to carry him to the ring.

The Armstrongs join Tony in advance of the Cup, and man they had a hell of a match with the Horsemen on that show. Also Brad wants to take a moment to challenge Ric Flair for the World title. Also Bob throws out a greeting to the Southern Boys, Steve and Tracy, and notes that they’ll be coming back to help them out soon. Wait, they were a team way back in 1987? That’s crazy.

Wahoo McDaniel & Baron Von Rashke v. Larry Clarke & Rick Sullivan

Wahoo and Baron are apparently another team in the tournament, and undoubtedly they’re the oldest. Maybe the baldest. Baron works a headlock on Sullivan and it’s over to Wahoo, who chops him down as David calls him “a very ill tempered man”, as you would say about any top babyfaces. Wahoo works a chinlock and beats him down with a chop in the corner, honestly working like a heel. “There’s some quick and agile teams, and then there’s this one” notes David. He’s really all about the compliments this week. Baron brings Clarke in and works a headlock on him, and Wahoo is like “I’ll get some of that action!” and does his own, and then just viciously chops Larry down for good measure. Back to the Baron for a suplex and we take a break. Back with Sullivan getting beat up by Wahoo again, as he just mercilessly chops this poor guy and then pins him at 5:00 with a suplex or whatever.

Mike Rotunda joins us via high tech satellite from Florida, talking about his partnership with Tim Horner for the tournament. He couldn’t ask for a finer partner than Tim Horner! I would dispute that. They’re doing it for one reason: The money! I find it hard to believe that Mike Rotundo would ever be motivated by money.

Baron & Wahoo join Tony and Wahoo is sick of taking it easy on young punks, and he’s gonna be mean and nasty and not care about the fans if it means he can win the million.

Big Bubba Rogers v. Cougar Jay

Jay jumps on him and tries to slug on him, but Bubba basically powerbombs him and then puts him down with a back elbow. Bubba picks him up for a shoulderbreaker, and then hammerlocks the guy and submits him at 1:45. Bubba looked…not super graceful here. He got better in a hurry.

The Dark Superpowers join Tony and seeing Vladimir Petrov carrying around one of the US tag team titles is kind of upsetting. Dick Murdoch does a crazed promo against Bob Armstrong and points out that he told everyone he was gonna injure Nikita Koloff. Dusty Rhodes is next on his list. YOU DON’T ASK YOUR PARTNER HOW HE FEELS! You tighten up your belt and drive to Baltimore in your pickup truck like a real man. This was hilarious.

Meanwhile, Bill Dundee and his Mod Squad, who are likely the Florida tag team champions judging by the belts they have with a big picture of Florida on them, are seeded at number nine and Superstar guarantees a win for them.

Tully Blanchard & Lex Luger v. Denny Brown & Todd Champion

Champion gets double-teamed in the corner and Lex works the arm. Interestingly, Brown & Champion also ended up in the Crockett Cup, although they didn’t fare as well as the Horsemen. Brown gets some offense on Lex to get some shine, but Tully puts him away with the slingshot suplex at 3:30.

Afterwards, JJ and the Horsemen are troubled by the continued existence of Ole Anderson. It’s not his fault that Ole has so many kids and they’re ruining his life with their needy ways! Lex Luger is breathing down Nikita’s neck because he wants the US title.

Arn Anderson v. Tim Horner

Horner hits Arn with a slam and dropkick to chase him out of the ring, but Arn hits him with a cheapshot on the way back in and then tosses him to the floor. But Tim trips him up and posts the leg, before going to work on it back in the ring. Arn puts his head down and Tim SWEEPS THE LEG and goes back to the work on it with a kneecrusher. Horner with a sunset flip for two while JJ cuts an annoyed promo at the desk, but Horner puts his head down and Arn hits him with an elbow. Arn tries the gourdbuster and Horner reverses into his famous rolling cradle with bridge, but the Horsemen run in for the DQ at 5:30 because that’s about enough of that.

Back at the desk, Arn is pretty sure he had the man beat and Horner ran for his life to save himself for the Cup. JJ throws to a pretaped promo from Kevin Sullivan, who is teaming with Arn in the Cup, and Kevin notes that he once had a brother, but they had to institutionalize him. OH REALLY? Wonder if we’ll ever hear from THAT brother again?

Ric Flair joins us, looking as only he can look in his suit, putting over the Crockett Cup and all it means to wrestling. Also he’s gonna bust Philly wide open tonight and then head off to the Boston Garden for that show. For those wondering, here’s what that show looked like:

JCP @ Boston, MA – Boston Garden – April 4, 1987 (11,000)
Debut at the venue
Misty Blue defeated Linda Dallas
Jimmy Garvin & Ron Garvin defeated Thunderfoot #1 & #2 (sub. for the MOD Squad)
Lex Luger defeated Baron Von Raschke (sub. for Mike Rotunda)
Ole Anderson defeated Arn Anderson via disqualification
Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson defeated Ivan Koloff & Vladimir Pietrov (sub. for Dick Murdoch)
The Road Warriors defeated Bobby Eaton & Stan Lane
NWA US Champion Nikita Koloff defeated NWA TV Champion Tully Blanchard; only the US title was at stake
NWA World Champion Ric Flair defeated Barry Windham at the 23-minute mark
Dusty Rhodes defeated Big Bubba in a lights out steel cage match

Well OK then.

Barry Windham v. Dave Spearman

An annoyed Barry finishes with the lariat at 0:30.

Ravishing Rick Rude joins us, but Paul Jones does all the talking, putting over his team as the #1 seed and ranting about all the other teams. Rude notes that they make the Horsemen look like stablehands, and he’s the REAL 60 minute man.

Ravishing Rick Rude v. Larry Stephens

Rude hits Larry with a clothesline and finishes with the DDT version of the Rude Awakening at 0:30, and he dedicates it to the Four Horsemen.

The Garvins join Tony, and Ronnie has heard about all kind of horrible stuff happening for money, and Cornette is still going around laughing about blinding him and trying to cripple him. But the cage matches with himself and Cornette are gonna happen no matter what. Jimmy needs the desk moved so everyone can see his beautiful suit and his main squeeze. And Jimmy is going after Flair to defend the honor of Precious, because they’ve all had enough of Flair.

THE GLADIATORS v. Bill & Randy Mulkey

Finally we get to see the debut of the West Coast tag team champions here in the NWA in advance of the Crockett Cup! I’ve heard so much about these guys but never seen them until now. Luckily they’ve got a nice easy team to start. They hit the ring and toss Bill before going to work on Randy, but a Gladiator goes to slam Bill and trips over Randy in the process, resulting in the dawn of MULKEYMANIA at 0:25! And then the Gladiators freak out and they want to protest to JIM CROCKETT! They flew all the way from the West Coast! This was also double hilarious because the show was running short and they needed to make up another couple of minutes of time, so the poor Gladiators had to do a promo on the spot. They were of course George South and Gary Royal under the masks.

This was an all-timer of an episode, and what a place to pick up the reviews again.