The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 06.29.91

The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 06.29.91

Originally written 04.22.26

This week’s show cannot possibly be worse than last week’s was, so I have some positivity there at least, but we all know what’s coming up right away.

Taped from Birmingham, AL on 06.03.91

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Gordon Solie

First up, we take a look back at the Hardliners attacking the Steiners, which is apparently from “SuperBrawl”, which it absolutely was not, it was Clash XV. So the announcers say we’re going to hear from Scott Steiner with an update on Rick Steiner’s injury.

Meanwhile, Rick Steiner is actually the one doing the promo, because this company can’t even tie its own shoelaces without tripping and landing on its metaphorical face. And he’s not injured.

Lex Luger v. Allan Martin

Lex FINALLY debuts the sexy new US title belt here, just in time to drop it. Lex takes him down with a pair of armdrags and Martin claims hairpulling while the announcers hype the impending Luger-Flair cage match for the World title at Bash 91. I can think we can definitively say that’s a match that will 100% happen at the very least. Luger with a backdrop and powerslam to set up the rack to finish at 1:36.

Meanwhile, we take yet another look at the brawl between Sting and Nikita after the tag match at SuperBrawl, and least the graphic for this one lists the proper show.

The Young Pistols v. Pat Rose & Gene Spurlock

The Pistols are accompanied by Brad Armstrong for some reason (even though Steve isn’t allowed to have his own last name), and that actually could have led to an interesting storyline where Brad is revealed to be betraying his own family as Badstreet, but instead it led to absolutely nothing and had no point and Badstreet just disappeared one day and returned to his home planet. The Pistols quickly win with the double-team missile dropkick on Spurlock at 1:00

GREAT AMERICAN BASH CONTROL CENTER! WITH PAUL E DANGEROUSLY!

We’ve got Flair defending the World title against Lex Luger in a cage! And now El Gigante v. One Man Gang! Plus Ricky Morton v. Robert Gibson! And Big Josh v. Black Blood in a lumberjack match! And another look at the mysterious Oz! Really selling this one for me.

Johnny B. Badd v. Terry Bronson

Despite his presentation as a heel, clearly Marc Mero was so charismatic with this character that there was going to be no choice but to quickly turn him babyface. Bronson goes for the lockup and Badd freaks out about being touched and then beats on Bronson in the corner. To the top for a flying sunset flip for two. Johnny with the high knee and knockout punch to finish at 1:40. Afterwards, Teddy Long does another promo about PN News, which would lead you think they were building to a Badd-News match at the Bash PPV, but you’d be very wrong. Also they really should have teamed up as Badd News, come to think of it. This all brings out PN News to do his own promo on Johnny, which gives us the interesting sight of two very white men pretending to be black at the same time. Because WCW.

The Hardliners v. Tim Parker & Mike Jackson

This was taped two weeks before the Clash, so the Hardliners don’t have their coveralls gear at this point and just have their normal gear. Jackson manages to hold off Murdoch to start, but the Hardliners double-team him and Slater tosses him before Murdoch adds a shot to the post. Back in the ring, Jackson comes back with a dropkick on Murdoch, but he tags Parker in and they immediately clobber him. Slater with a neckbreaker and samoan drop to finish at 2:01. Not a very impressive squash debut for these two. They were actually better off trying all the wacky gimmick guys and hoping that one or two broke out to become stars, rather than recycling all the old territory guys.

Black Blood & One Man Gang v. Greg Sawyer & Kenny Kendall

Together they make One Black Man! Gang in a straitjacket and howling like a maniac continues growing on me by the week. So Blood drops a leg on Sawyer and puts him in the corner for Gang to abuse, while still wrapped in the straitjacket. Gang splashes him while wearing the jacket, and Blood goes up with with the guillotine forearm to finish at 1:47. Again, they could have had something fun with cold blooded assassin Black Blood forced to work with the psychotic Gang but neither guy stuck around.

Meanwhile, the Desperados sit around the campfire and talk about their failure to find Stan Hansen while serving time in jail last week.

World TV title: Bobby Eaton v. Steve Austin

Okay then! Lady Blossom is absent from ringside, so I’m guessing this is the redone match? Given the lighting is different and the front row is entirely different people, that seems like a plausible conclusion. Austin beats on Bobby in the corner, but Bobby fires back and slugs him down, and Steve retreats to the corner. Bobby backdrops him and slugs him down for a headlock, working on that and keeping Austin on the mat with it. Austin runs him into the corner to break, but misses a blind charge and Bobby slugs him down again for two and goes back to the headlock. Austin gets a cheapshot and puts Bobby on the floor to escape that headlock and they fight on the apron before Austin dumps him to the railing to take over. Back in the ring, Austin chokes him out on the ropes, but misses a charge and Bobby makes the comeback with a backdrop. Bobby with a neckbreaker and he goes up to finish with the Alabama Jam, but Lady Blossom runs into the ring while Bobby shoves the ref, and she rakes Bobby’s eyes behind the fallen ref’s back, allowing Austin to roll him up for the pin and the title at 8:00. They redid the match and THAT was the finish they came up with? This was all headlocks and not much else. *. Obviously putting the belt on Austin so fast into his tenure was a big sign of confidence from Dusty, which was proven to be well placed.

And we finish with an interview with the Yellow Dog, who is just graduated from wrestling camp and is ready to compete in WCW. His voice sounds strangely familiar. Also he’s focused on Barry Windham.

Obviously a very notable title change on this one, but something even more notable was happening behind the scenes and we don’t know about that at all if we’re just watching the TV shows at this point. I honestly don’t even remember if they addressed it but we’ll find out.