The SmarK Rant for WCW Fall Brawl 1994

Live from Roanoke, VA, drawing 6500 and a 0.53 buyrate. Not the worst for a non-Hogan show.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Bobby Heenan.

World TV title: Lord Steven Regal v. Johnny B. Badd

Badd works the arm to start and takes Regal down with a dropkick before going back to the arm again and a monkey flip gets two. Regal gets some physical therapy from Sir William to loosen up the arm again, and they trade cradles for two before Badd goes back to the arm. Regal fights out of that, so Johnny gives him the airplane spin to send him to the floor, and then follows with the dive and necks him on the top rope. But then Johnny tries a springboard and misses, clotheslining himself on top rope and allowing Regal to take over. Regal controls on the mat as this settles into being every Regal TV title defense ever, with Blacktop Bully getting thrown out at ringside to give the camera something else to watch for a bit. Not that Barry Darsow was gonna be World champ or anything but given the amount of TV time that character got early on, the complete lack of payoff was astonishing. Badd makes a comeback and puts Regal down with the flying headscissors, but it only gets one. Regal tosses him to buy time, but Badd comes in with a sunset flip for two. William gets involved and the heels collide, which gives Badd another two. Badd misses an elbow and Regal beats on him with forearms, but a backslide gets the pin and the title as Badd wins his first belt at 11:00. Decent opener but Regal wasn’t exactly motivated at this point.

Rating: **1/2

Meanwhile, Hulk Hogan has his knee shattered by a masked man and still comes back to win the match anyway.

Loser Leaves WCW: Kevin Sullivan v. Cactus Jack

AKA “Don’t threaten me with a good time”. Kevin being introduced as “formerly from Singapore, now hailing from Daytona Beach” is very on trend for him. They immediately brawl on the floor and take bumps into the crowd, and back in the ring for a slugfest before Jack immediately gets bored of that and sends Kevin out again. Jack pulls up the mats after running Kevin into the post, but he goes up and Evad pulls him down so Kevin can slam him from the middle rope to the concrete in a sick unprotected bump. And of course Kevin slams him again for good measure. I just watched Mick take that bump on International Incident earlier in the day, so what are the odds that he would take two stupid bumps on two different shows like that? OK pretty good odds actually. They head into the ring and Jack makes a comeback, but Sullivan takes him to the floor and slams him on the concrete AGAIN. Jack fights back and grabs a chair, but Evad prevents him from using it, allowing Kevin to run Jack into the stairs and get his own chair. But then Jack charges while Evad holds Kevin back, and he collides with Evad and gets pinned at 5:47 to exit WCW. I’m sure he was broken up about that. Huge disappointment outside of Jack taking multiple stupid bumps on the concrete.

Rating: *1/2

Meanwhile, the Studd Stable does a hell of a promo about WARGAMES tonight. This company did not deserve Terry Funk and Arn Anderson in the same stable in 1994.

US title: Ricky Steamboat v. Steve Austin

Unfortunately, Ricky is announced as being unable to complete (for another 15 years or so as it turned out) and so Nick Bockwinkel awards the US title to Steve Austin. But then Austin has to defend the belt, so Bockwinkel lets him bluster and then books him for another defense….

US title: Steve Austin v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

I’ve heard a few different versions of the story here, with the most likely being that Austin was pissed about getting crushed by the incoming Hogan Machine and just wanted to do the job and get out again. Man this show is so clearly about the WCW core getting wiped out and replaced by Hogan cronies thus far. So yeah, Austin whines and complains about wrestling, resulting in Duggan just backdropping and pinning him at 0:50 to win the title. And that, by the way, was the last WCW PPV appearance for Steve Austin. What a way to go out.

Afterwards, Duggan does an interview with Mean Gene, barely even celebrating his own title win and immediately putting over Hulk Hogan as the greatest thing since sliced bread. Just in case you forgot which side his bread was buttered on.

WCW World tag team title: Pretty Wonderful v. Stars & Stripes

I can safely slot this team in as the best of Bagwell’s random tag team partner pairings. Scorpio was a good babyface team but clearly they were just there to job to the Nasties, but the Patriot team made Bagwell seem like a fully formed tag team wrestler and a real team. Roma slugs Bagwell down to start while Bobby declares that they’re “not a bunch of goofy bodybuilders who have three eggs and a can of tuna every day” while using “distorted mirrors to make themselves look bigger”. I feel like there’s a specifically aimed criticism in there. Stars & Stripes double-teams Orndorff and works the arm. Patriot with a crossbody for two and the champs regroup while Bobby questions why Patriot wears a mask. “Is he all burned and scarred up?” Yeah right what are the odds that some wrestler would be wearing a mask because he’s all burned and scarred up? Bagwell comes in and Roma slams him to set up Orndorff’s BOOGIE WOOGIE ELBOW before he goes to a facelock. Bagwell with a sunset flip for two, and then he blocks Orndorff’s reversal for two. Roma comes in with the dropkick and that gets two. Flying elbow gets two, but Patriot saves, so the heels toss Bagwell out and Orndorff runs him into a plastic cooler. Well the top is kind of abrasive I guess. So then Orndorff dumps the ice all over Marcus and goes to finish with the piledriver, but Marcus backdrops out of it. Roma jumps in and cuts off the tag with a facelock, but Patriot had had enough and he runs wild with a double clothesline. But meanwhile Orndorff piledrives Bagwell on the floor while the ref gets Patriot out, and Roma gets the cheap pin on Bagwell to retain at 12:40. Match was building great but the finish was really flat. They’d have other matches soon after, though.

Rating: ***

Meanwhile, the Rhodesesess and Nasties respond to the Studd Stable. Dusty in the Nasty Boy gear is certainly a look.

Triangle match: Big Van Vader v. Sting v. Guardian Angel

More accurately this is a pair of singles matches. First up, Sting wins a coin flip and gets a bye, so we start with Vader and the Angel as Heenan says “Boss Man” a bunch of times without directly referencing the guy in the ring. LEGALLY DISTINCT. Vader and Angel run into each other and yell their anger before going to a test of strength. Vader beats on him in the corner and follows with a corner splash, but Angel puts him down with a back suplex. Angel counters a bodyslam attempt and gets two, but Vader takes him to the floor with a Cactus clothesline and they brawl out there. Back in the ring, Angel with an enzuigiri and he powers Vader up for a slam that gets two. Angel slugs away on the ropes, but Vader bumps the ref and Angel hits the Bossman Slam for the visual pinfall. But then Race comes in and headbutts Angel, and Vader finishes with the Vaderbomb at 7:00. Good hoss fight.

Rating: **1/2

Round two sees Sting against Vader, as they trade shots and then Sting takes a run at him and hits a brick wall. Vader goes up with the Vaderbomb right away, but he tries it again and Sting boots him down this time and tries a sunset flip. Vader sits down and misses, allowing Sting to clothesline him to the floor and they brawl out there. Race gets involved and Sting suplexes him and heads back in the ring for a delayed suplex. To the top for a flying splash, but a second one hits the knees and Vader goes up but misses the moonsault. Sting makes the comeback and hits Vader with a superplex, but he goes after Race and only gets two off that. Samoan drop gets two. Sting slugs away in the corner and follows with the Stinger splash, which gets two. Sting with a release german for two. Vader just gets annoyed and tosses Sting again like he’s a bug. Back in the ring, Tony tries to explain the difference between “Overtime” and “sudden death” in the context of the match stipulations and I’m lost. Vader slugs away in the corner and Sting makes the comeback and gets two off that. Vader bails to the floor and switches rings, so Sting hits him with a flying clothesline and a flying splash for two. Vader with a back suplex for two. Vader goes up and Sting powerslams him for the double down, and then gets two off that. Race pulls the ref out to save, so Sting gets the Scorpion Deathlock and Vader holds out until the time expires at 15:00.

Overtime and then I guess we go to penalty kicks. Sting attacks in the corner and Vader fights him off with a suplex and takes him to the top, but Sting slugs him down. He can’t do a flying splash for whatever reason so he just kind of falls down and gets two. Vader goes up and Sting brings him down with a top rope samoan drop, but Vader powerslams him for two. So Tony actually does clarify the meaning of “sudden death”, in that the first person to leave their feet loses. I was hoping they’d settle things the old navy way. That would make Sting the winner. Vader with a big splash for two. Powerbomb gets two as the OT round expires at 5:00.

So it’s sudden death because we MUST HAVE A WINNER for the #1 contendership. So Vader boxes his ears and Sting won’t go down, holding himself up with the ropes while Vader beats on him. Sting makes the comeback and Vader goes down, but the ref is distracted by Guardian Angel brawling with Race at ringside, and the MASKED MAN runs in and clips Sting to put him down, giving Vader the win at 3:00 of sudden death. No shock here, but it was another hell of a match between Sting and Vader. But why would the Butcher care about making Vader the #1 contender? Also Vader never actually got the title shot from this, as the eventual Hogan-Vader match was months later and Vader was already US champion by that point.

Rating: ****1/4

Meanwhile, Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan via satellite from Hulk’s gym because he can’t even be bothered to show up at the building for a PPV he was getting points from. So it’s basically just a pretaped video that Gene pretends to interact with, and Ric Flair calls in from Vegas (with the Vegas Gold Belt) and they have a goofy split screen promo duel as Hogan tries to convince Flair to come out of retirement or suspension or whatever his deal was and face him to unify the two World titles. So Hogan’s pitch: They have one more match at Halloween Havoc, and if Flair wins, then Hulk will retire from wrestling. So Ric agrees that, and then Hulk reveals that THE KNEE IS FINE. He’s already said that, multiple times, since the original Clash match and the knee injury seems to reoccur like Fritz Von Erich’s heart condition from week to week.

Nick Bockwinkel discusses the stunning ramifications of the Hogan challenge with Mean Gene, and since Hogan’s career is on the line, Nick makes it a steel cage match. Gene: “WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING, MAN?!?” Yeah that’s where that meme came from, in case you were ever wondering. So yeah, Gene is like “I don’t want to see that match inside a barbaric steel cage match where all hell can break loose!”, you know, just before the main event that features a barbaric steel cage match where all hell can break loose.

WARGAMES: Dusty Rhodes, Dustin Rhodes & The Nasty Boys v. Col Parker, Arn Anderson, Bunkhouse Buck & Terry Funk

I still don’t really understand the reasoning for switching out Meng and putting Parker in there instead. We start with Arn Anderson and Dustin Rhodes, as Dustin gets his revenge on AA for the turn at Bash at the Beach and runs him into the cage. Arn retreats to the middle and Dustin boots him into the crack between the rings and piledrives him there in a spot swiped from Barry Windham in 88. Arn somehow escapes that upside down predicament, so Dustin boots him into the other ring and elbows him down with the Flip Flop and Fly before dropping a couple of elbows on him. Arn finally comes back with the DDT and chokes him out with the wrist tape, but Dustin puts him in a half crab as the first period ends at 6:00.

Bunkhouse Buck is next in and he stomps Dustin down and puts the boots to him, as the heels double-team him with a double Boston crab. Jerry Sags saves at 8:30 and runs Buck into the cage and follows with a piledriver as Dustin continues his beef with Arn. If only the Rhodes and Andersons could patch things up one day! Well that’ll never happen. Terry Funk is in at 10:30 and desperately searches for a weapon before settling on his own boot. That’s a man who does it for the love of the sport. So he beats on Dustin with the boot while Arn & Buck double-team Sags. Sags fights back with a piledriver on the split between the rings as Funk takes a wacky bump and falls into the abyss before re-emerging like a crazy old phoenix. Knobs comes in at 12:50 and the Nasties toss Arn around the ring and do the cheese grater spot with him and Buck. The lack of blood here is very noticeable because there’s about 4 guys who would normally be gushing all over the mat by now. Sags hits people with Funk’s boot, mostly Funk himself, as Terry is just selling like crazy and having the time of his life out there. Col. Parker is the last guy in for the heels at 15:00 , and he waits for help from Buck and gets some cheapshots on Dustin. Meanwhile Buck uses his own belt to beat on Sags and choke him out, and Funk wants a piece of that action. By which I mean he loses his belt to Dustin and takes a whipping with it. Because he’s Terry Funk and he’s awesome. Dustin goes back to beating on Arn again as the crowd goes crazy for Dusty, and he’s the last man in at 17:30 and THE MATCH BEYOND begins. And you know he goes apeshit with the elbows and beats the shit out of the heels. Meng goes crazy and tries to get into the cage while the Nasties double-team Parker and Dusty puts him in the figure-four. And then the Nasties drop elbows on Parker repeatedly, allegedly making him shit his own white pants, and Parker gives up at 19:20. YOU SEE? NOT 45 MINUTES LONG. Lack of blood was a bit troublesome but this mostly RULED and didn’t overstay the welcome at all. Babyfaces get some shine, sell for the heels a bit, Dustin gets revenge on Arn, Terry Funk acts goofy, and Dusty comes in last and works for 2:00 while beating up all the heels single-handedly, bada boom bada bing. Not rocket science.

Rating: ****

Hey, this was a pretty boss show for 1994. Two great matches and really nothing I’d call bad in any sense and I’d call it worth a recommendation. But it’s also the harbinger of what would quickly happen to the company in the Hogan era, with the exodus of a lot of great talent. But hey, Brutus Beefcake and Jim Duggan and Honky Tonk Man all still had jobs, so good on them I guess.