The SmarK Rant for the Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions – 05.06.84

The SmarK Rant for the Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions – 05.06.84

Originally written 04.30.26

Hey, the Vault dropped this one tonight and I can’t resist that. This was of course the tribute show for David Von Erich after his untimely death in early 1984, and sadly not the last tribute show for a death of a Von Erich. I don’t recall if I’ve ever reviewed the main event. Probably?

https://youtu.be/rfP5SXOhVt4?si=PALP621kxpGcw1lM

I THINK this might have just been assembled from a pair of World Class TV episodes, but whatever, I love it.

Taped from Irving, TX, drawing 32,000 to Texas Stadium, plus another 4000 to a closed circuit location in San Antonio.

Your host is Marc Lowrance

Junkyard Dog v. The Missing Link

Link attacks and Dog slugs him to the apron right away, so Link freaks out and tosses a chair into the ring. So Dog catches it and hits him with it, sending the Link running away. Back in, Link tries a headbutt and that goes badly for him, and Dog slugs him down. Link runs Dog into the turnbuckle and that goes nowhere for him. Dog keeps headbutting him, but Link puts him down with an elbow and goes to the middle rope. He misses a diving headbutt and Dog gets his own headbutt for two. Dog goes after Skandor Akbar on the apron, allowing Link to hit him from behind and finish with the diving headbutt at 3:10, with the help of Akbar. But this brings another ref out, who saw what happened in the back, and the decision is reversed for the Dog instead. Whew. A brisk and inoffensive opener. *1/2

Chris Adams & Sunshine v. Jimmy Garvin & Precious

Gino Hernandez hits the ring first and cuts a deranged promo on both guys, challenging the winner to a title match in Puerto Rico. I wasn’t even aware this was a title match? Also I’m not a fan of Gino in the ring to say the least, but good lord the guy had HEAT and could cut a promo. There’s a lot of him in MJF. Adams slams Garvin and wants to tag Sunshine, but Garvin trips him up and goes to a chinlock. The gimmick is that Sunshine desperately wants to get in the ring with Precious, but Garvin doesn’t want her in there. Adams and Garvin clothesline each other for a double down, but Chris is up first with a superkick and tags in Sunshine. So Precious has to tag in and Sunshine hauls her in and catapults her into the corner as the crowd goes nuts. So Adams tags back in and suplexes Garvin into the ring for two before dropping a leg for two. Garvin drops him on the top turnbuckle to take over, busting him open, but Adams backdrops out of a piledriver and it’s back to Sunshine. But Garvin trips her on the way in, allowing Precious a chance to jump on her and turn it into a catfight. The heels double-team Sunshine as the crowd goes insane, but she comes back and tosses Precious over the top rope and Adams hits Garvin with a sunset flip for the pin at 4:30 off-camera. Unbelievable heat for this one but the match was rushed and not anything. **

Hacksaw Butch Reed v. Chic Donovan

I think Donovan is actually darker than Reed here. The boy is TANNED. Reed overpowers him and shows off the tickets to the gun show, but Chic dropkicks him and works a headlock. Reed sends him to the floor and Donovan fights his way back into the ring and makes a comeback with a back elbow, but Reed boots him down and follows with a gorilla press before putting him away with a shoulderblock/splash at 4:25. Mostly a squash. *

The Great Kabuki v. Kamala

Interesting match here. I sense a non-finish. Gary Hart with hair trips me out. IT’S NOT RIGHT. Kamala chops him down to start and gets the two handed choke, but Kabuki puts him down with kicks as the managers squabble on the floor. Kamala goes to a bearhug, but Kabuki chops out of that, so Kamala goes back to it again and Kabuki once again chops out of it. So now Kamala goes to the dreaded PURPLE NURPLE hold as this thing is decidedly more boring than it seemed to be teasing. Finally Kamala puts him in the corner and charges, but it misses and everyone brawls for the double DQ at 8:00. Yeah I figured that’s where we’d end up. Really awful and dull stuff. DUD

World Class Six Man title: The Fabulous Freebirds v. Kevin, Mike & Fritz Von Erich

This is a Badstreet rules match, which means you can wear whatever you like, and also someone has to be Brad Armstrong under a mask. They immediately brawl and the Von Erichs trap Buddy in the corner and go to work on the leg. Hayes comes in and that brings in Fritz, and he beats on PS as the crowd goes nuts. Fritz whips Hayes with his belt and it’s just mayhem in the crowd and finally the ref calms it down and Kevin comes in. Gordy beats on Kevin in the corner but Fritz heads over and beats up Gordy as well. Kevin goes for the IRON CLAW, but Gordy takes him back to the Freebird corner to escape, and Hayes uses his cowboy boot on Kevin. Buddy comes in and thrusts his crotch at Kevin’s head, which is him using the belt buckle as a weapon but looks much more questionable than that, but then Fritz makes the save for his sons and beats up all three Freebirds alone before dispatching Hayes with the Iron Claw. Gordy breaks that up, but Kevin hits Buddy with a flying bodypress at 6:50 to win the titles. Not sure why Fritz even bothered having his sons in there, since he basically did the entire match alone and beat all three Freebirds alone. Regardless, this was far ahead of its time as far as being a crazy brawl. ***1/4 Afterwards, the “biggest Oriental that I’ve ever seen” according to Lowrance hits the ring and attacks Kevin. That of course can only describe Killer Khan. Assuming you’ve never seen Giant Baba of course. For those wondering, Fritz immediately gave his share of the titles to Kerry Von Erich.

NWA World title: Ric Flair v. Kerry Von Erich

I have no idea what country song they dubbed over for Kerry but it’s lame as fuck. I’m assuming they originally used “Heaven Needed a Champion” but had to edit it out because Fritz filed a copyright claim from beyond the grave. No time limit, and the DQ rule is waived here just to stack the deck against Flair some more. Flair tries for a takedown and Kerry escapes it, and then puts him down with a pair of dropkicks to send Flair into the corner. Kerry wins a wristlock battle and goes to work on the arm, but Flair chops him to escape, so Kerry hits him with a press slam and Flair backs off to the floor. Back in the ring, Flair chops him to take over and dumps him to the floor, but Kerry comes in with a sunset flip for two. Kerry with a sleeper out of the corner, but Flair escapes with a suplex and drops the knee on him. Flair with a suplex for two. Kerry catches him with an abdominal stretch, but Flair hiptosses out of it, so Kerry drops knees on him and then Flair walks into the IRON CLAW. Flair goes low to escape and heads to the top, but Kerry slams him off and we get a Flair Flip out of that. “Good Grief, Charlie Brown!” notes Lowrance. Well I’ll have to use that one. Flair goes for the figure-four and Kerry fights him off, so Flair goes for a hiptoss and Kerry reverses into the fateful backslide and pins him to win the World title at 10:50. This wasn’t particularly good and wasn’t at all a “Flair match”, but that’s not the point. Flair was just the heel of the week plugged in for Kerry to overcome. **

And while Kerry celebrates his title win, Flair gets the BALLER line of the year, pointing at him and telling him “You won tonight, but tell your brothers I’ll be back.” YEAH HE WILL.

This wasn’t a like a great wrestling show in the ring, but obviously that wasn’t the point of it and everything did what it needed to do here. Definitely worth an hour of your time to check it out for historical reasons.