The SmarK Rant for WWF Monday Night Raw – 01.20.97

– So it’s the night after Royal Rumble 97, and here’s where things REALLY get good and the turnaround of RAW begins.

WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW!

– Live from Beaumont, TX

– Your hosts are Vince and Jerry and good ol’ JR.

– Bret Hart storms out right away, and we’re breaking kayfabe all over as he rages at Vince about being brought back to the WWF under false pretenses, and having to fight Steve Austin instead of getting a shot at the WWF title, and accuses Vince of giving Shawn Michaels preferential treatment. Perish the thought. Great bitter, paranoid rant here from Bret, as he tells us all how he’s been screwed. Get used to hearing that. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again — either the universe aligned itself PERFECTLY when Montreal happened, or Vince McMahon is an evil genius who set things in motion months before it happened. So Bret quits and departs into the crowd, while Vince acts all apologetic. DON’T TRUST HIM, BRET! And now here’s Steve Austin, beginning his big run by burying Bret and also complaining about getting screwed over, but he’s not whining about it, no sir. He’s here to kick ass. And you can hear the face pops starting already, as Austin just cuts a killer promo here. OK, I know that Wrestlemania 13 was supposed to be Bret v. Shawn, and it’s been confirmed by both guys and Dave Meltzer and a million other sources, but to this day I don’t see how they get there. Everything was all about Bret v. Austin and it was the only logical conclusion to the build on TV for months leading up to the show.

Owen Hart & British Bulldog v. Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon

This is non-title. Owen takes LaFon down with a wristlock to start, but gets outwrestled. They take it to the mat off a headlock and Owen gets a drop toehold into his own headlock, but LaFon sidekicks him to break. Furnas comes in with a shoulder tackle and a dropkick for two. Wicked overhead belly to belly gets two. Owen fires back with a leg lariat and brings in the Bulldog, as their breakup angle continues, and Furnas catches him napping with a rana. Bulldog bails and regroups, and we get some cheating from the champs back in the ring. LaFon takes Bulldog down with a leglock and they double-team Bulldog in their corner, but Owen comes in with a missile dropkick for two. We hit the chinlock and take an ad break, returning with Owen dropping an elbow for two. JR pauses to take a potshot at WCW, by noting that there’s no bait-and-switch here and you really will see La Femme Nikita after the show. Oh, TAG. Not that the WWF was a group to complain about others baiting-and-switching. In fact, it wouldn’t shock me if Vince McMahon’s funeral was footnoted with “Card subject to change” and they stuck someone else in the coffin. Anyway, Furnas gets double-teamed in the corner, but comes back with a crossbody on Owen for two. Owenzuigiri gets two. Bulldog with the delayed vertical suplex for two. Owen hits the chinlock again and the belly to belly gets two, but Furnas makes the hot tag to LaFon. Hiptoss for Bulldog and leg lariat for Owen. Snap suplex into a senton on Bulldog gets two. Northern lights suplex gets two. Ugly DDT gets two. Furnas tosses Owen, who manages to hit LaFon with the Slammy, into the Bulldog powerslam for the pin. Not sure why it was non-title.

(Bulldog & Owen d. Furnas & LaFon, Bulldog powerslam — pin LaFon, 9:32, ***) They would go on to have an even better match at the Final Four PPV. This was a bit rushed and sloppy, but otherwise terrific.

Faarooq v. Bart Gunn

Bart gets overpowered to start, but takes Faarooq down with an armbar and we take a break. Back with Faarooq getting a spinebuster for two. He goes to a chinlock and uses the ropes, and that burns up some time. Bart escapes and slugs back, and uses the clothesline to come back, setting up a bulldog for two. PG-13 puts the boot on the ropes, Crush adds a cheapshot, and Faarooq finishes with the Dominator.

(Faarooq d. Bart Gunn, Dominator — pin, 5:17, 1/2*) The Nation of Domination was the most boring storyline in wrestling until Rock saved it in the summer of 97.

– Vince finally returns to the ringside area, bringing President Gorilla with him. Gorilla announces that Final Four will feature Vader v. Bret Hart v. Undertaker v. Austin, with the Wrestlemania title shot on the line, since Austin didn’t win the Royal Rumble fairly. Austin comes out and offers his response: “You call yourself the Gorilla, but you hee and haw like a jackass.” Bret ends his early retirement and also comes out to accept, and the brawl is on. How was this show not beating Nitro?

Steve Austin v. Undertaker

Big brawl to start leading directly out of the last segment, and UT quickly goes old school, which at this point was more like junior high. He chokes out Austin in the corner and pounds him down, but puts his down down and gets hit with a neckbreaker. Zombie sit up, but Austin kicks him in the face and elbows him down for two. He doesn’t even take shit from the undead. Austin drops elbows on the back of Undertaker’s neck, but Taker goes low, so Austin chokes him out on the ropes. Taker slugs back, but runs into a foot. Austin comes off the middle rope with an axehandle for two, and we hit the chinlock. Funny bit as Jerry Lawler goes to ringside and tells Austin to hit Undertaker in the ribs, but Taker kicks Austin low while he’s listening. KICK WHAM STUNNER, but both guys are out. And while that’s going on, we go to a break. Back with Austin heading up, but Taker brings him down the painful way and then follows him up, but Austin sends him down and hits an elbow for two. Taker comes back with the flying clothesline, but Vader heads out of the ring and it’s a wash.

(Steve Austin no contest Undertaker, 6:33, **) They would of course have many, MANY more matches in the years to come, most of them much better, but this was still a hot TV match until the bad finish. And then a GIANT brawl erupts, with Bret and Austin and Vader and Undertaker all beating the crap out of each other, and we’re out.