The SmarK Rant for the Best of WCW Saturday Night – August 1996

The SmarK Rant for the Best of WCW Saturday Night – August 1996

Back with another month of the MUTHASHIP condensed into 90 minutes by the Vault!

WCW World tag team title: Harlem Heat v. Rough & Ready

I’m gonna tell my kid that Rough & Ready were the Road Warriors on that Georgia episode I just reviewed. Same gear. Stevie and Enos fight for the lockiup to start and Mike beats on him in the corner, but Stevie comes back with a FULL BODY LIFT AND SLAM and it’s a big brawl with choking and hookers and blackjack. You know what, forget the choking and the blackjack. Enos catches Booker with a backbreaker to take over, but Booker backdrops out of a piledriver attempt and it’s over to Slater. He takes Booker down with an awkward drop toehold and Enos drops him on the top rope, but Booker reverses a suplex. He goes up and misses an elbow off the middle rope and the challengers take out Stevie, but Slater bumps to the floor on a goofy collision with Booker. Col Parker tries to interfere and screws it up as usual, but Booker grabs the cane and knocks out Slater for the pin to retain at 7:00. This was fine. **

US title: Ric Flair v. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

They trade hammerlocks on the mat while Tony and Dusty complain about the New World Order and tease a secret FOURTH member who might be debuting. Flair with the wristlock while Liz and Woman talk trash to Chavo at ringside, and Chavo takes him down with a leglock and works on that. Flair chops him down and tosses him, and that DEVILISH WOMAN rakes his eyes out there. Back in the ring, Flair beats on him with chops in the corner and follows with the delayed suplex, which sets up the figure-four to finish at 3:25. And then Flair keeps it on too long, so Eddie Guerrero runs in and breaks it up, prompting a brawl and Eddie puts Flair in his own figure-four. But then Woman saves her man again and Flair runs away. Just a squash. *

HIGH VOLTAGE v. The Nasty Boys

So is from the Hog Wild 96 pre-show edition of Saturday Night, making it something of a rarity. Hog Wild had a unique look and crowd, but the atmosphere was so toxic that it ruined what should have been a banger PPV. Sags beats on Robby Rage in the corner and I’m pretty sure those guys got blown up walking to the ring. Knobs runs him into the corner and it’s over to Kenny Kaos, and he runs wild with a pair of dropkicks before Rage comes in with a flying shoulderblock for two. But then he misses his own dropkick like a geek and the Nasties take over, with the redneck bikers cheering for them. And THEY BE CLUBBERING in the corner and double-team Rage, but Kaos gets a hot tag and beats on Knobs before running into a back elbow in the corner. I thought the Nasties were supposed to be babyfaces at this point but High Voltage is working as faces for some reason and I’m confused. And Knobs drops an elbow off the middle rope and pins Kaos at 3:30. This was a huge mess. Part of their charm I guess. DUD

Alex Wright v. Earl Robert Eaton

Dusty going off on a tangent about a John Wayne movie to make a point and then forgetting which movie he was talking about is classic Dusty. Wright dropkicks the Earl and goes up with a missile dropkick for the pin at 0:32. Well they weren’t working by the hour.

Kevin Sullivan & The Faces of Fear v. Jim Powers, Mark Starr & Joe Gomez

We of course get a cameo from the Leprechaun as Powers runs wild on Meng and dropkicks him. Over to THE DESPERADO, but the Dungeon of Doom is terrified of facing him alone and triple-teams him to keep him from winning the match single-handedly for his team and then banging all the chicks on bikes at ringside too. Luckily for the DOD, Gomez decides to go easy on them and tags out to Starr, giving them a fighting chance for once. Starr goes up and Barbarian brings him down with an overhead suplex for two. Meng with the superkick to finish at 3:00. These guys are FUCKING LUCKY that Gomez let them live. ***** for Gomez.

Diamond Dallas Page v. The Renegade

Renegade hits him with a jawbreaker and clothesline and follows with the handspring elbow in the corner, but DIAMOND CUTTER OUTTA NOWHERE finishes at 0:50.

And we’re back into some kind of arena for the next week.

Rough & Ready v. The Bluebloods

Since this is an actual wrestling arena and not the Universal Studios deal, there’s actual WRESTLING FANS here. Taylor smacks Enos in the corner, so Mike kicks him RIGHT IN THE BELLY WELLY and Slater comes in and clobbers Taylor from behind. Dusty is DELIGHTED by this action. Over to Robert Eaton, who goes to the top with a flying legdrop, but Slater breaks it up and they all brawl. Enos hits Slater by mistake, but Dick pulls down the top rope to low bridge Eaton and send him to the apron. Rough & Ready suplex him back into the ring for an upset win at 3:00. Pretty fun little match.

WCW World tag team title: Harlem Heat v. The Steiner Brothers

Rick slugs away on Stevie in the corner to start and that gets two, and Rick just keeps beating on Stevie until a clothesline stops him. Over to Scott, but Stevie rakes the eyes and Booker comes in. So Scott tosses him around with suplexes, but Booker hits him with a sidekick and chokes him out in the corner. Scott with a dragon suplex, which gets two, but a blind charge misses and Booker hits another sidekick to put him down. Booker goes up and Scott catches him with another suplex and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA, but the Nasty Boys run in and attack Rick for the DQ at 3:15. Sherri tries to stop them and they attack her as well, so Sherri takes an amazing bump through the ropes and to the floor. Dusty: “Her dress rode up on her vitals right there”. Not much to this one but Sherri’s bump is worth a look.

The Giant v. Jim Powers

Giant is in a foul mood after dropping the title to Hulk Hogan, I’m sure. And indeed JESUS H. CHOKESLAM finishes at 0:30.

WCW World TV title: Lex Luger v. Dave Taylor

For the life of me I can never remember Luger as TV champion. Neither can he, since he doesn’t even have the belt here. Lex overpowers Taylor and FLEXES at him, fully 100% babyface again after months of doing the awesome tweener role with Sting. I’m still sad we lost that. Luger chases him to the floor while Dusty talks about “all the bah humbug, bulla bulla stuff”. YEAH! You tell ‘em, Dusty. Taylor beats on Lex with chops in the corner, but Lex fires back with a clothesline in the corner before running into a boot. Taylor goes airborne and misses a diving headbutt, and Luger finishes with the torture rack at 2:35 to retain.

Bull Nakano v. Madusa

Bull has NUMCHUCKS and uses them on Madusa behind the ref’s back before tossing her by the hair. Madusa loves that bump so much they do it again, and Bull chokes her out on the ropes. Madusa slugs back, but Bull puts her down and splashes her for two. Bull with a suplex for two and she wraps her up in a Scorpion Crosslock, but lets it go pretty quickly. Madusa pulls her out to the floor and hits a dive from the top, but Sonny Onoo interferes and Bull runs her into the stairs with an awkward bump on her hip. Dusty says “butt-ocks” like Forrest Gump to celebrate. Back in the ring, Bull with a sitdown splash for two. She goes up and Madusa brings her down with a headscissors and makes the comeback, but she tries a rana and Bull powerbombs her and pins her at 4:10. She may have used the ropes, who’s to say? Best match of this show by far. ***1/4

Ultimo Dragon v. The Mysterious Mr. JL

Dragon with the headstand in the corner and into the headscissors, but JL sends him to the floor and Dragon regroups. Back in the ring, JL tries a Vertebreaker, but Onoo trips him up and Dragon takes over with the kick combo. Dragon chokes him out and goes to a chinlock, but then he goes up and lands on JL’s foot. JL tries a comeback, but Dragon kicks him out to the floor and follows with a dive. JL goes up and Dragon brings him down with a rana for two. German suplex gets two. JL goes up and misses a splash and Dragon gets the cradle for two. Another german suplex into a bridge finishes at 4:34. OK THIS was the best match of the show so far. ***1/2

The Nasty Boys v. The Steiner Brothers

Scott is laid out in the back and the Nasties double-team Rick on the way to the ring before the bell rings, as they brawl into the ring and THEY CLUBBERING TONY. Rick makes his own comeback and fights them off with suplexes, but then Harlem Heat runs in for the DQ, even though the match never really started. And they all brawl to the back, fighting all over the arena.

Diamond Dallas Page v. Billy Kidman

Page chokes him out on the ropes after surviving a wristlock blitz, but Kidman gets a crossbody for one. Dallas goes to a headlock, but Kidman works him over in the corner and gets a rollup for two. DDP with a nice pumphandle backbreaker and he chokes Kidman out on the ropes, but a second backbreaker is reversed to a rollup for two. Kidman bulldogs him out of the corner and goes up with a flying bodypress for two, but DDP rebounds out of the corner with the DIAMOND CUTTER OUTTA NOWHERE to finish at 4:00. Man he gave Kidman a TON there.

Sgt. Craig Pittman & Cobra v. The Faces of Fear

I thought they were hated rivals? Anyway, Cobra would soon be repackaged into the biggest push of his career as Fake Sting anyway. Cobra and Pittman double-team Meng right away and hit him with corner clotheslines, but Meng blocks a sunset flip from Cobra and beats him down. Over to Barbarian, but Pittman splashes him for two. The FOF double-team Pittman and they all take a wacky bump to the floor and then Meng takes him down in the ring. They continue double-teaming Pittman and go up for STEREO DIVING HEADBUTTS, but Cobra makes the save. Barbarian with the KICK OF FEAR for two. He misses a legdrop and Pittman fights him off and makes the hot tag to Cobra, who hits them with dropkicks in an unlikely comeback. Oh, never mind, Meng kicks him in the face and pins him at 4:44. This was the kind of off the wall crazy matchup that I’m here for.

WCW World TV title: Lex Luger v. Lord Steven Regal

Lex works the headlock and goes ARRRRRRRRRGH and then Regal backs off and makes disgusted faces at Lex’s show of muscles. Regal goes for the arm and Lex goes back to the headlock and follows with a backslide for two. Regal bails and sells the tremendous pain, and back in he gets suckered into a test of strength and he’s very upset about that. Regal facial reactions are amazing. Regal hides in the ropes while selling his injured hands, overcome by the power of Luger’s knucklelock, and he finally pokes Lex in the eye to take over and slugs away with forearms in the corner. Regal with double knees for two. He works that pinfall attempt and goes to a chinlock, but Luger fights back out of the corner and slugs away before backdropping him out of the corner. Lex with a clothesline and suplex and Regal reacting to all of this is almost as the entertaining as watching the match itself. Regal goes to the eyes again, but Luger hits him with the STAINLESS STEEL FOREARM OF DEATH and sends him to the floor. But then Hall and Nash come out of the crowd and destroy Luger on the floor before leaving, and Lex is dead on the floor. So Regal hauls him back in and pins him at 7:37 to win the TV title, giving a self-satisfied smirk to the camera for doing it ALL ON HIS OWN. This whole thing was incredible and Regal is the BEST. Million billion stars to close out the show.

I love these compilations. Hopefully they keep them up forever.