The SmarK Rant for Smoky Mountain Wrestling – 02.15.92

The SmarK Rant for Smoky Mountain Wrestling – 02.15.92

Originally written 04.10.26

Hey, I’m officially on vacation for a week! I’m aiming my death curse in one direction and one direction only, and I think we can all figure out who it is.

For some reason the second episode is missing from KrisP’s collection, so we jump ahead a week to episode #3.

Taped from Morristown, TN on 11.27.91. This is a high school gym and the crowd is WAY smaller than the debut episode taping.

Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Jim Cornette

Hollywood Bob Holly v. Pat Rose

You know Bob is from Hollywood because he’s got sunglasses and a nice jacket. Bob attacks in the corner, but Rose clotheslines him, prompting Bob to retreat to the corner and protect his movie star good looks. Rose controls with slams and an armdrag, but Bob catches him with an atomic drop to take over. Bob drops a leg for two and catches him with a sleeper, but Rose makes the ropes to escape. So Bob goes back to it, and Rose reverses to his own, so Bob pounds him with forearms and hits him with a neckbreaker. Bob to the top with the flying knee to finish at 3:30. Yeah I’m not buying bitter Bob as a Hollywood movie star.

Meanwhile, Bobby and Jackie Fulton talk about how SMW is touring the small towns in YOUR area and they’re excited to be there. I SEE YOU, Jackie Fulton, wearing your Ribera jacket there like a big man.

Meanwhile, Bobby Fulton announces that Ivan Koloff’s nephew Vladimir has been “called back to Russia” after losing to the Fantastics last week, so now Ivan has to find a partner. So back at the studio, Ivan joins Bob Caudle and introduces his NEW partner: Jimmy Golden! Goddamn, Jimmy looks like he’s 7 feet tall standing next to Ivan.

Rip Rogers v. Jumpin’ Joey Maggs

Rip whips Joey into the corner and hits him with a gut shot before dropping an elbow on him and then taking him down with a facebuster. Maggs comes back with a hiptoss and chokes Rip out with his own jacket before dropkicking him to the floor for a brawl out there, but Rip catches him with a cheapshot back in the ring. Rip tosses him and hits him with a double axehandle to the floor. Back in, Maggs catches him with a small package for two and they slug it out, with Maggs making a comeback with a corner clothesline before yanking him off the ropes. Maggs with a backdrop and Rip bumps into the ropes and gets himself tied up, but Maggs charges and Rip kicks him in the nuts. Rip tries a slam and Maggs reverses for two and gets a backslide for two. Maggs with a bodypress for two and he runs Rip into the turnbuckles for the 10 count before going to the top, but Rogers falls onto the top rope to crotch Maggs. And he follows with the RIPPERPLEX off the top to finish at 4:40. This was a really good match! Also Rip Rogers is the guy who should have been “Hollywood”.

Rock N Roll Robert Gibson v. The Mighty Yankee

Cornette literally doing a masked heel with a gimmick of being a “Yankee” is peak southern nonsense. Yankee uses his northern aggression on Gibson to start, but Robert hits him with a dropkick for two. Robert puts him down with a back elbow and a kneelift for two. The Mighty Yankee drops an elbow on Robert for two and sends Robert to the floor off a shoulderblock and suplexes him back in. But then he misses a blind charge and Gibson bulldogs him to finish at 3:13. Robert is not from Texas and using that move is cowboy appropriation.

Jim Cornette complains about all the heroes of pop culture disappointing people, but he will never disappoint us because he’s bringing a new tag team to the territory and they’re gonna win the tag team title tournament.

Last week, Dutch Mantel faces Scott Armstrong, and Scott makes a comeback and slugs away in the corner until Dutch grabs the bullwhip for the DQ. But then Brian Lee makes the save and chases him off, setting up our main event later tonight.

Meanwhile, Dutch bonds with Mr. Ron Wright and asks Ron to wheel himself to the corner and watch him take on Brian Lee tonight. Dutch clarifies that he’s not looking to be managed by anyone, but he’d be honored to have Wright there to observe.

Tim Horner v. BAD BOY Barry Horowitz

Horner takes him down with a snapmare for one and the BAD BOY bails to the corner to think it over. Horner takes him down to frustrate Barry, so Barry fires back with forearms in the corner, but he stops to pat himself on the back and Horner slugs him down. Horowitz slugs him on the ropes, but Horner makes a comeback, so Barry hits him with a gut wrench suplex and follows with a kneelift. Barry with a neckbreaker and a northern lights suplex for two. Horner fights back with a hiptoss out of the corner and a back elbow for two. Horner tries the bridging rollup, but Barry blocks it, and then makes the mistake of patting himself on the back again and Horner hits it on a second try and pins him at 5:00. Damn, this was another really good TV match, with Horowitz getting a chance to show off a whole bunch of stuff he didn’t usually get a chance to show.

Meanwhile, Nature Boy Buddy Landel is on the way to Smoky Mountain after getting fired from WCW. Buddy does a promo about the other guys holding him down, and rants about one booker in particular who speaks with a lisp. Not sure where he’s going with that one. Cough.

Dutch Mantel v. Primetime Brian Lee

Lee grabs a headlock and hits him with a press slam, so Mr. Ron Wright wheels himself down to ringside to watch, as promised. Lee works the arm while Cornette speculates that Brian and the referee are somehow related. Dutch gets an abdominal stretch and uses the ropes, before putting Lee down with a clothesline, but Lee makes a comeback. So Dutch goes to Wright and gets a foreign object, but Lee intercepts it and knocks Dutch out. But he’s too dumb to hide the object, so the ref sees it and disqualifies him at 5:30. Lee is still not good.

Brian Lee joins Bob and declares the finish a RIPOFF and he wants a rematch! Dutch is apparently not ready for Primetime!

NEXT WEEK: The Fantastics v. Ivan Koloff & Jimmy Golden!

I know this early stuff isn’t everyone’s jam, but it’s my jam and there were some damn good matches this time around.