The SmarK Rant for Saturday Night’s Main Event XXXVII

The SmarK Rant for Saturday Night’s Main Event #37 – 12.14.24

OBSESSION is back! Complete with the “SNL will not be airing tonight” introduction! Although it’s actually not true and SNL was on afterwards. Still, this is already a million times better than the 2000s reboot.

Live from Long Island, NY

Your hosts are Joe Tessitore & Jesse Ventura, plus Michael Cole & Pat McAfee on commentary

Drew McIntyre v. Sami Zayn

Although they’re not coming from the crowd like Jesse Ventura said, the presentation is way more toned down as far as the entrance goes. The throwback referee gear is awesome, though. Drew attacks in the corner and they trade chops, before heading to the floor with a moonsault from Sami. Back in the ring, Sami sends him out and tries another dive, but Drew catches him and slams him into the table as we take a break. Back with Drew hitting an overhead suplex for two, but Sami comes back with a double axehandle before walking into a spinebuster that gets two. Powerbomb gets two. Drew takes him to the top for an Air Raid Crash, but Sami reverses that into a sunset bomb for two. Drew puts him down with a headbutt, but Sami counters the Claymore into a Blue Thunder bomb for two. I like that they have crowd mixed really high here, which gives it a more bombastic feel for newer viewers. Sami sets up for the Heluva kick, but Drew evades him and Sami walks into the Claymore and gets pinned at 10:19. Really fun, fast-paced opener. ***1/4

WWE Women’s World title: Liv Morgan v. Iyo Sky

They fight to a stalemate to start and head to the apron, where Liv tries a powerbomb and Iyo counters with a moonsault and we take a break. Back with Iyo putting her down with palm strikes and then following with a tope suicida and back in with a springboard dropkick that gets two. Liv with a codebreaker for two. Iyo hits her three german suplexes, which gets two. Iyo tries a springboard and slips, but Liv covers with a codebreaker for two. Iyo cradles for two and takes her down with a crossface, but Liv quickly escapes. So Iyo hits the double knees and goes up with a moonsault, which misses. Oblivion finishes at 8:35. Kind of sloppy and not much to it. **. Probably because Liv got knocked silly by a knee strike early on. Liv’s celebration is interrupted by Rhea Ripley as they have a staredown and continue their neverending feud.

World Heavyweight title: Gunther v. Finn Balor v. Damian Priest

They quickly trade rollups and slug it out, which leaves Gunther on the floor so Priest can hit a dive. And we take a break, as this is the third match in a row featuring the babyface hitting a big dive just before the break. Back with Gunther trying a Boston crab on Priest, but Balor breaks it up and then Priest takes them both down with a clothesline. Priest goes up with a ropewalk into a crossbody on Gunther, and then hits a flatliner on Balor for two. Balor comes back with sling blades on both guys and gets two on Gunther, but Gunther hooks Priest in the sleeper, but he escapes with the chokeslam and then Balor hits Priest with the shotgun dropkick and goes up to finish. Gunther crotches him and they fight to the top, but Priest brings Gunther down with a Razor’s Edge for two and a chokeslam on Balor for two. Gunther hauls Priest to the floor and powerbombs him on the stairs, and then powerbombs Balor in the ring to retain at 10:12. Seemed a bit rushed like everything else on the show tonight, but it was good enough. ***

Women’s US title tournament finals: Michin v. Chelsea Green

Really, that’s what they went with for the tournament final? Michael Cole talking about their history as TNA Knockouts champions is some weird wild stuff. Chelsea tosses her to start and they fight on the apron, which Michin gets a weird submission move in the ropes. But then Piper takes her out on the floor and we take a break. Back with Michin in control with a tornado DDT, but Chelsea hits a Rough Ryder for two. Chelsea charges and lands on Piper outside, which allows Michin to hit them both with a dive. Back in the ring, Chelsea tries the Unprettier, but Michin gets Eat Defeat for two. That was pretty sloppy. Michin goes up, but Piper distracts her and Chelsea hits the Unprettier for the pin and the title at 7:30. Another very short, rushed match. **

WWE title: Cody Rhodes v. Kevin Owens

Jesse Ventura finally does join us for commentary here. And as teased, Cody finally gets to debut the Winged Eagle belt and goddamn it looks perfect on him. Like how can you look at that beautiful thing on him and go back to the ugly cookie cutter WWE belt again? Kevin walks away from the fight and Cody chases him outside for a brawl on the floor, and then hits a tope suicida. Back in the ring, Cody with the front suplex and they head to the floor again as KO drops him on the table for Randy Orton. We take a break and return with KO hitting a swanton for two. They trade Dusty tributes and Cody comes back with a powerslam. Disaster Kick gets two. Owens dodges a Cody Cutter and they head to the floor again, but Cody counters Owens with an RKO on the table. Back in with the Cody Cutter for two. They head to the top again and KO brings him down with the fisherman’s bomb for two. Cody escapes the stunner and the ref is bumped, so KO gets the stunner on the second try and there’s no ref. Second ref comes in for two, but then he also gets bumped and KO runs Cody into the post. So Kevin grabs a chair, but Cody hits him with the cutter again and follows with a Crossroads on the chair for the pin at 12:05. Again, not bad, but it felt like they were rushing through like crazy. **3/4

Unfortunately, the first two minutes of the show were kind of the high point for me, as they immediately dropped all the nostalgia flashback stuff and just did a normal WWE TV show, with 5 matches crammed into two hours and everything very rushed. All the rest of the presentation was just the usual 2024 WWE. I could have used a bit of tomfoolery and shenanigans to break things up a bit. They didn’t even do any cheesy backstage promos! This was decent background viewing material, but there wasn’t actually anything notable about the show and you didn’t miss anything if you skipped it. It was fine, and that’s it.