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The SmarK Rant for Pro Wrestling This Week – 05.16.87

By Scott Keith on 11 August 2024

The SmarK Rant for Pro Wrestling This Week – 05.16.87

Your hosts are Gordon Solie & Joe Pedicino

Starting off in Dallas with World Class this week…

Bruiser Brody v. Jeep Swenson

So we’re at the Parade of Champions, joined with Bruiser beating on Jeep outside the ring, but Swenson runs him into the corner and out to the apron again. Jeep of course gained some later notoriety for a pair of ill-advised career moves, first taking the role of Bane in Batman & Robin, and then appearing as THE ULTIMATE SOLUTION at WCW’s Uncensored 96 disaster. Back in the ring, Brody grabs a chair and just hits Jeep in the giant chest, and pins him at 1:58 aired to end his suspension in World Class.

Meanwhile, Gary Hart talks with a World Class cameraman on the subject of the mysterious Red River Jack, and he punks out Gary by sticking with the story that Jack is a friend of his from New Mexico, but not Bruiser Brody. Gary calls him a liar and tells him that he hopes his life gets worse in the future. LOL.

Over to the new women’s promotion POWW…

Devilla v. Princess Jasmine

So POWW was David McLane’s attempt to create a new promotion with a more “serious” edge than GLOW had, although GLOW was rapidly running out of steam even before David left and POWW never really was able to capture the same audience. But at least it had a legit arena audience instead of the fake Vegas crowd. Dick the Bruiser is on commentary and was involved in the promotion somehow, which makes sense considering McLane started out as an announcer for Dick’s Indianapolis promotion before starting GLOW. So this is an immediate disaster of a match, as Jasmine does some kind of headscissors or rana attempt on Devilla and knocks her silly, and the match just grinds to a halt as Jasmine kind of holds a headscissors on the mat while the ref tries to figure out what to do, and then they just go home and Jasmine pins her at 1:35 aired.

Time for Bill Apter’s PWI Report!

Top Ten time!

NWA:

  1. Ric Flair
  2. Nikita Koloff
  3. Barry Windham
  4. Tully Blanchard
  5. Dusty Rhodes
  6. Lex Luger
  7. Mike Rotundo
  8. Jimmy Garvin
  9. Brad Armstrong
  10. Rip Oliver

Rip Oliver?

PWI Top 10:

  1. Hulk Hogan
  2. Ric Flair
  3. Ricky Steamboat
  4. Nikita Koloff
  5. Barry Windham
  6. Randy Savage
  7. Lex Luger
  8. Nick Bockwinkel
  9. Steve Williams
  10. Curt Hennig

Oh man it must have been killing Apter to put Hulk over Ric Flair on that list.

Bill’s editorial this week: Danny Davis made a STUPID MOVE becoming a wrestler, because he has zero wrestling experience and now all the real wrestlers are gonna get their revenge on him and he’ll deserve it. Harsh.

Off to Continental…

Alabama title: Mike Golden v. Mr. Wrestling II

Joined with Wrestling II hitting a backdrop and FULL BODY SLAM on Golden for two, but he misses a blind charge and hits the post. But he regroups and gets a rollup for the pin and the title at 0:55 aired. Golden doesn’t take it well and attacks afterwards, but II chases him out of the ring and claims the belt. Man we must be getting pretty near the end for Wrestling II by 1987.

Off to the NWA…

The New Breed v. Mike Force & Ricky Nelson

As always, the New Breed predicting the political rise of Dusty Rhodes to the position of President in 2002 proved to be an eerily prescient warning from the future. Joined with the Breed double-teaming Force on the outside, and then slamming him for a double legdrop from the top. Force actually fights back and brings Nelson in, and Ricky makes the comeback with a hiptoss and dropkicks on Sean Royal, but walks into a big boot. And the Rockerplex finishes at 2:00.

Also, Magnum TA reunites with future President Dusty Rhodes, talking about fighting to make his comeback. Magnum sounded and looked way better at this point already, but of course he just couldn’t make it back. So Dusty has a sack with $50,000 and he’s throwing out the challenge to Tully Blanchard for the TV title if he’s got the guts.

Barry Windham v. Tommy Angel

Crockett must have cut a big cheque this week for all the footage, as we head to Pro for this squash, which Barry wins with the lariat at 0:30 aired.

Mat Classic: Gorgeous George v. Chief Don Eagle

It’s the final fall for the 2/3 falls match from the 50s, as we get about 30 seconds of it and George uses an Indian deathlock to pin him. George winning nearly triggers a riot from the crowd, as they throw garbage at him like it’s the nWo and fans rush the ring while he puts his robe on and leaves.

Off to Memphis for a legendary match!

Hair v. Hair match: Jerry Lawler v. Austin Idol

We sadly only pick this one up at the finish, with Tommy Rich having hidden under the ring so he can interfere in the cage match, as Rich and Idol double-team Lawler and piledrive him to molten heat from the crowd, and then they each grab a foot and slam Lawler’s junk into the ringpost, allowing Idol to pin Lawler and win the Southern title and Lawler’s hair as the crowd FREAKS OUT. This is what put Paul E. Dangerously on the map as a manager. And they deliver an epic beating to Lawler before dragging him unconscious to the chair and the barber indeed shaves Lawler bald as advertised. And the heels literally need a police escort to make it through the crowd and back to the dressing room as the crowd is on the verge of a riot. That was basically the last peak of Memphis before it went down for good and was never able to recapture that feeling again outside of the Moondogs feud with Lawler & Jarrett at times.

Meanwhile, fans write to PWTW and complain about all the interference in today’s wrestling. Preach on, sister.

To the AWA…

In the aftermath of the Curt Hennig title win over Nick Bockwinkel, we get an interview with Larry Zbyszko as he complains about Bockwinkel cheating, but Nick rebuts and accuses Larry of giving Curt a roll of coins that he used to win the title. So fun fact about the title match from the Observer at the time, as Verne booked the title change and then got cold feet and had Stanley Blackburn announce that they were holding up the title on TV, with the intention being to return the belt to Bockwinkel. I guess in hopes of recreating the crowd increases when they did the same bullshit finish with Hulk Hogan years before. But once he did that, Hennig called his bluff and gave notice to Verne, bringing a contract offer from the WWF with him, at which point Verne finally gave in and just went with Hennig as the new champion. Which, as it turned out, was just a stopgap measure anyway because Hennig was destined to end up in the WWF a year later and the promotion was on the way down regardless.

To the UWF…

UWF TV title: Eddie Gilbert v. Sam Houston

The DQ rule is waived here because of Eddie getting himself DQ’d too much, and we’re joined with Eddie sending Houston to the floor and then slugging him down on the way back in. Eddie with a hooking clothesline for two, but Sam makes a comeback and slugs away, and they collide for the double down. Houston is up first with a bodypress for two, but Gilbert reverses the bulldog into a back suplex and then catches him with the Hot Shot for the pin to retain at 2:40 aired.

International match of the week:

Well not quite, as this week they present a music video from Mexico highlighting various high flying lucha libre moves and action. So I guess Joe struck a deal with CMLL.

Off to the WWF…

Ricky Steamboat v. Tiger Chung Lee

Joined with Tiger putting the boots to Steamboat, but a sunset flip gets two for Ricky. Lee goes up and Ricky slams him off, and then goes up with the flying chop to finish at 0:30 aired.

Bret Hart v. Davey Boy Smith

Also from Superstars this week, as we’re joined with Davey hitting Bret with the powerslam and pinning him immediately, but new recruit Danny Davis rescues Jimmy Hart and puts Davey down for a good booting.

And we go off to Central States…

Bulldog Bob Brown v. Stoney Burke

Joined with Brown choking Stoney out and then tossing him to the floor before offering threats to color commentator Rufus R. Jones. Back in the ring, Bob beats on Stoney with forearms on the ropes, but special ref Pat O’Connor gets in the way to stop him and that allows Stoney to make the comeback. He goes some dropkicks and Brown kind of takes a bump to the floor, but then Stoney slams him back in the ring and Bob grabs the tights and pins him at 2:00 shown.

To Stampede…

Jeff Wheeler v. The Cuban Assassin

Joined with the Cuban hitting a pair of suplexes for two and going to an abdominal stretch, which Wheeler fights out of. Cuban slugs him down and uses the hair to draw a yellow card, but Wheeler fights back with a dropkick and monkey flip out of the corner and a slam for two. Clothesline gets two. Running powerslam and he goes up, but he misses a flying bodypress and Cuban hits him with a DDT to finish at 2:15 aired.

And the PWTW has decided that BRUISER BRODY is the Wrestler of the Week after earning his way back into World Class with his victory. Really, nothing for Austin Idol? He won the Southern title AND shaved Lawler’s head bald! I’m starting to think the fix is in or something.

Lots to discuss this week!