The SmarK Rant for Pro Wrestling This Week – 05.02.87

The SmarK Rant for Pro Wrestling This Week – 05.02.87

Your hosts are Joe Pedicino & Gordon Solie

And we’re off to Memphis right away to start, as we kick things off with an 8-man tag match, with Rocky Johnson, Mark Starr, Allan West and young Soul Train Jones squashing some low level guys, which quickly turns into a crazy brawl, with West fighting The Hunter over to the desk and then slamming him on the floor until the match is thrown out after a minute or so.

Off to Crockett…

World TV title: Tully Blanchard v. Bob Armstrong

This is from an episode of NWA Pro, which replaced Mid-Atlantic in mid-86. Bob chases Tully to the floor and suplexes him back into the ring for two. Bob goes up with a middle rope elbow for two, but JJ saves, so Bob chases him and walks right into Tully’s briefcase like a klutz. And Tully falls on top for the pin to retain. Bob tripping and falling face-first into the case must be part of the Armstrong curse. Afterwards, Tully continues sticking it to Dusty Rhodes, claiming that Dusty doesn’t have $10,000 to match him. That actually led to a big match for the Bash.

The New Breed squash a pair of jobbers and finish with a Rockerplex. From the futuristic year of 2002!

Bill Apter joins us with the PWI lists

Most Hated:

1. Andre the Giant
2. Ric Flair
3. Randy Savage
4. Lex Luger
5. Tully Blanchard
6. Col DeBeers
7. Adrian Adonis
8. One Man Gang
9. Danny Davis
10. Kevin Sullivan

Danny Davis should be higher on that list but otherwise fair.

Florida:

1. Mike Rotundo
2. Kevin Sullivan
3. Ed Gantner
4. Scott Hall
5. Shaska Whatley
6. Ron Simmons
7. Kendall Windham
8. The Tahitian Prince
9. Jimmy Valiant
10. Sir Oliver Humperdink

And now Bill has an editorial: RIC FLAIR IS A COWARD. He accuses Ric of bringing Lex Luger into the Horsemen to DUCK HIM as a challenger. Also he gets disqualified in title matches a lot. So they might have to re-evalulate his position as #1 wrestler in PWI’s rankings!

Oh my god this version of the show has a Cal Worthington TV spot intact. People of a certain age will have the theme song running through their head as we speak.

Off to Portland…

Rip Oliver v. Ricky Santana

Oliver slams him and goes up, but Ricky crotches him, so Oliver shoves the ref and chokes Santana out until the match is thrown out.

SOUND OFF! WITH BONI BLACKSTONE!

A fan writes in to complain that Roddy Piper is retiring, and then writes a poem about him. I’m cringing like watching those white chicks on the TikTok rap thing going around right now.

UWF tag team title: Terry Taylor & Chris Adams v. Sting & Rick Steiner

We’re in the Omni for this one on April 12, joined with Taylor taking Steiner to the floor for a brawl while Adams runs Sting into Eddie Gilbert by mistake. That gets two, and Adams follows with a superkick on Sting to send him bumping out of the ring onto Gilbert. Back in with a suplex, but Gilbert hits Adams with the belt and hooks the leg and Sting falls on top to win the titles. I thought Taylor had turned on Adams to cost him the title, actually. Guess not.

Back at the studio, we throw to interviews with the new champions, although Eddie Gilbert does all the talking for the heels. The interview with the babyfaces reveals that Taylor “accidentally” knocked Adams’ foot off the ropes to cost them the belts.

Gorgeous George v. Chief Don Eagle

Back to the 50s for this one, but the amount of time between this match and the show I’m reviewing now was actually less than the show I’m reviewing now and our present day. George controls with headlocks, but Don Eagle reverses out of that and wins the first fall with an Indian deathlock.

Off to Texas…

The Dingo Warrior v. Jack Victory

Nearing the end of Dingo’s run in World Class before he hits the big time. We’re joined with Victory slugging away in the corner, but Dingo comes back with a slam and then misses an elbow. But Victory tries a suplex and Dingo reverses that, and then clotheslines Jack for the pin. That was apparently his finisher at the time. I’d say at least he got better but did he really?

Meanwhile, Gary Hart chats with the Rock N Roll RPMs in advance of their scaffold match at the David Von Erich Parade of Champions.

Next up, we go to Alabama for Continental.

Scott Armstrong v. El Lobo

Joined with Scott chasing the mysterious Lobo to the floor with a dropkick, but Lobo slams him and pounds him with forearms for two. So when do we get our movie about the Armstrong curse? They can call it SILVER BULLET and maybe write in a subplot about werewolves in there because the Armstrong Curse is actually that they’re werewolves. See, it’s like the Iron Claw, but with a supernatural twist. And kids love werewolves. To ChatGPT!

**Title: “Silver Bullet: The Armstrong Family Curse”**

**Genre:** Fantasy/Drama/Action

**Logline:**

The Armstrong family, legendary in the world of professional wrestling, harbors a dark secret—they are werewolves. Despite the curse, they rise to fame and glory in the ring while battling their inner beasts and enemies who seek to exploit their secret. United by blood and bound by fate, the Armstrongs prove that true strength lies in family.

—

### Act 1:

**Introduction to the Armstrong Family:**

– **Jacob Armstrong**, the patriarch, a retired wrestling legend, now trains his three children.

– **Emma Armstrong**, the mother, manages the family’s wrestling business and is the emotional anchor.

– **Lucas Armstrong**, the eldest son, is the current wrestling champion with a fierce reputation.

– **Mia Armstrong**, the middle child, is a rising star in women’s wrestling, known for her agility and cunning.

– **Ethan Armstrong**, the youngest, is an aspiring wrestler with a rebellious streak.

**The Curse:**

– The Armstrongs are introduced as an ordinary yet exceptional wrestling family.

– Flashbacks reveal the family curse: Jacob was bitten by a werewolf during a wrestling tour in Eastern Europe.

– The curse manifests during full moons, turning them into werewolves with heightened strength and instincts.

**Inciting Incident:**

– During a major wrestling event, Lucas’s transformation begins to surface due to the stress and nearing full moon.

– A rival promoter, **Victor Kane**, suspects something supernatural and hires a private investigator, **Laura Mills**, to uncover the Armstrongs’ secret.

—

### Act 2:

**Conflict and Challenges:**

– The Armstrongs struggle to control their transformations and maintain their public image.

– Laura Mills gets closer to discovering the truth, putting the family at risk.

– Lucas’s aggression increases, causing tension with his siblings and a rift with his girlfriend, **Sophie**.

**Family Dynamics:**

– Jacob tries to mentor Lucas on controlling his anger and the beast within.

– Mia and Ethan bond over their shared fears and support each other in their wrestling careers and personal struggles.

– Emma uncovers a way to possibly break the curse but at a great personal cost.

**Escalation:**

– Victor Kane uses the information gathered by Laura to blackmail the Armstrongs, demanding they throw a crucial match.

– The family debates whether to comply or fight back, knowing their secret could be exposed.

**Turning Point:**

– During a high-stakes match, Lucas loses control and partially transforms in the ring. The audience is shocked, and footage of the incident goes viral.

– The family retreats to their secluded cabin, contemplating their next move as the media frenzy intensifies.

—

### Act 3:

**Resolution:**

– Jacob decides to confront Victor Kane, leading to a showdown where the Armstrongs’ loyalty and strength are tested.

– Laura Mills, having developed empathy for the family, decides to help them instead of exposing them, revealing her own tragic past with the supernatural.

– The Armstrongs face Victor and his hired goons in a climactic battle, using their wrestling skills and werewolf abilities to triumph.

**Climax:**

– In the final confrontation, the Armstrongs fight together as a unified force, overcoming Victor and his men.

– Jacob is mortally wounded but manages to deliver a final, decisive blow to Victor.

**Denouement:**

– The family mourns Jacob’s death but is inspired by his sacrifice.

– Emma finds a way to control the curse without Jacob’s help, allowing the family to live more normal lives.

– Lucas, Mia, and Ethan continue their wrestling careers, stronger and more united than ever.

– Laura publishes a story about the Armstrongs, focusing on their strength and resilience rather than their curse.

**Final Scene:**

– The Armstrongs stand together in the ring, a symbol of their unity and strength, ready to face whatever comes next—together.

—

**Themes:**

– The power of family and unity.

– Overcoming inner demons.

– The duality of human nature.

– Redemption and sacrifice.

**Tone:**

– Dark and intense with moments of triumph and heartwarming family interactions.

– Balances gritty realism of wrestling with supernatural fantasy elements.

—

**End Credits:**

– Highlight real-life wrestling moments and family photos of the Armstrongs, blending the fictional story with the spirit of wrestling heritage.

WE’LL MAKE MILLIONS.

Obviously we had to change the names for legal reasons and because Bob didn’t have any daughters in the wrestling business

Scott wins with the superkick.

Off to Central States.

Central States title: Ken Timbs v. Jerry Anderson

Timbs controls with a neckbreaker and goes to a facelock, and then turns it into a DDT for the pin. Fewer things were sadder than the dying days of Central States.

Luckily I’m immediately cheered up by an ad for Time-Life Books series of Old West history books, sold to us by Jack Palance. A quick check of eBay reveals that they managed to squeeze TWENTY SIX volumes out of that series! How do you even find stuff to talk about after the one about the gunfighters that they hooked people with?

To the WWF now…

Demolition v. Paul Roma & Jim Powers

Joined with the Demos squashing the Stallions, as they quickly finish Jim Powers with the Demolition elbow.

Honky Tonk Man v. Tommy Sharpe

And it’s a bonus squash, as Honky hits his hooking clothesline and finishes with the Shake Rattle & Roll.

Well after the exciting excursion to Titan, we’re off to Puerto Rico.

Hercules Ayala & Miguelito Perez v. TNT & Jason the Terrible

I’m terribly disappointed that Invader #1 wasn’t on the heel team instead of Savio, so that I could make a joke about how the team consisted of a vicious masked serial killer, and his partner Jason. Not gonna lie, I’m not sure what exactly happened at the end of this one but the bell rang and that’s the important thing.

To the AWA!

Leon White & Crusher Blackwell v. Boris Zhukov & The Master Blaster

Joined with Boris beating on Blackwell with forearms, but Jerry fights him off and makes the hot tag to BULL POWER, who is positively skinny here. He hits Boris with a corner splash and throws up the horns before hitting a big splash for two, but Blaster makes the save. Leon goes for a powerslam, but the Blaster comes in and beats on him from behind, which means that it’s a double-DQ apparently. And then Boris comes off the top rope and injures White’s knee, probably ending the career of another promising football player turned wrestler early.

And this week’s winner of the prestigious WRESTLER OF THE WEEK award is Rick Steiner & Sting.

Really it should be the Armstrongs for inspiring us all despite their crippling werewolf-ism.